Oh, I can so relate to where you are right now, sa, because I was there (but at a higher weight) about a year and a half ago (progress pics
here). To tell the truth, I was miserable: embarrassed to go out, depressed most of the time, easily winded, and feeling extremely unattractive to my husband.
The good news is that it *is* possible to lose the weight. While I'm not at my goal yet, I just passed the 100-pound mark, and I can honestly say I've never felt better in my life. I have so much energy, I LIKE trying on clothes and taking care of myself, I LOVE working out in the gym, and I am sooo much less depressed (still have some work to do, but I'm getting there!). My husband is much more responsive to me, although I think this is really because I'm more confident and frankly, much saucier now.
My point of this is just to say that you that you can ABSOLUTELY do this. If I can, seriously -- anyone can. I only wish now that I could have harnessed all the energy I spent crying, skipping random meals, and wishing and hoping to lose weight and instead used it constructively to work out and eat healthily. Then I would have avoided wasting much of my 20s obese. My advice to you is to start today to avoid making that same mistake.
It will not be a quick process. It will not be easy. Some days I think that I am just sick to death of tracking my food daily, working out every single day, and otherwise thinking about losing weight all the time. It's horribly inconvenient at times. But I would never, ever trade how happy I am now for the convenience of being obese. AND, I look back now on that year and a half and it seems like absolutely no time at all.
Here's where I'd start if I were you. First, start logging your food. It doesn't matter if you log it in a journal, Fit Day, Diet Power, or anywhere else. Just make sure you're getting an accurate picture of what you're taking in on a daily basis. At this point, I wouldn't even worry about a "plan." I've lost the 100 pounds by not following any commercial plan. I've just logged my calories everyday (trying to stick between 1300-1600), stuck to healthy, "clean" food (3FC has lots of resources on what that means), and exercised at least 6 days a week.
I would start moving, a little bit every day, until you can work up to more. I'm thrilled that you have a gym membership, even if you are uncomfortable there. I tend to get a little anxious socially as well (though it used to be MUCH worse), and I actually threw up the day of my "orientation" session with the trainer. But once you start going regularly, I bet it will just become a habit. I find that I tend to "get my gym face on" where I am able to tune out much of what's going on around me. Headphones definitely help. Actually, if your gym is like mine, the period after lunchtime and before 3 is a *great* time to go, because there's almost no one there.
Anyway, I know I'm going on and on. Something in your message just really struck a chord with me, because it *sounds so much* like where I was last May. Please feel free to PM me if you want more advice. 3FC is a great place to learn how to lose weight and keep it off. We're glad you're here!