Okay it seems to me a over the years I have gotten rid of quite a few of my diet books. So why do I have 20 books on dieting? And some of them are just about worn through and highlighted. These are my friends, these are my Gods, this is my precious. The idea of getting rid of them is scarey and that doesn't include the other pile of "Curing your Depression" ,"10 Steps to getting Control of Your Life", "Excavating Your Authentic Self". I haven't even started to go through all the books I own on spirtuality, religion, and philosophy. There are others that I am so attached to I won't even consider whether they need to go in the piles of "trying to fix Chris" . I am sure some of them do, but I am taking the "What About Bob" babysteps approach. I want to Its like if I know everything then it will be better? Sometimes I have taken the **** and other time I have stayed on the pot. What the **** I am looking for to fix me? Obsessed with myself. An ego-mainac with low self-esteem. Does this sound like a pity party? Mostly I am just horrified. How much of my life has been wasted in trying to fix my life instead of living it? Being present instead of in the food and in myself. So just for today can I choose to be where I am? The task sounds daunting, its easier to hole up inside me, analyzing, analyzing, analyzing. Surrender or die. So many deaths we can have in this world.
There is physical death which sounds the least scariest to me. Emotional death. Spiritual death. Much worse. To stand in the light of the spirit, to surrender to the day. Accept this is who I am and take the next step forward. Its the actions that count not the sitting and thinking about the next thing to do. Thanks for listening.
Jenelle- Its all a journey. Good food days, bad food days, maybe when it boils down to it, these are just the days of our lives. Wow queen of mellodrama this morning
Christy- HALTS (Hungry, angry, lonely, tired, stressed) happens to all of us. We are such perfectionists even when it paralyzes us that it must have been very hard to decide to quit. We just aren't quitters even when its not our path. I love it when your chatty by the way!
Vanessa-I still love to dress up for Halloween. Last year I was a Trill (not a tribble a Trill, the symbiotic species of Jadzia Dax). This year I am not decided if I will or I won't. I love buying for my niece, she is totally spoiled and gorgeous of course. My new nephew I will spoil him in a few years, at this point he mostly just drools
I didn't like the end of "The Village" either, BUT it was beautifully shot. I mean thats some of these films its just the beauty of how they are put together. "Cold Creek Manor" was awesome in suspense build-up. "Lost Boys" (awesome movie about drugs) is one of my favorites. "Children of the Corn" makes me roll on the floor with laughter, c'mon be the adult
Tracy- Amen to being where you are today. Feel free to share whatever you need to. If you haven't noticed I have done some dumping SO GLAD TO HAVE YOU HERE!!!!!!!!
Michelle- How's your heart?
Skippy- Making prioritizes for loving bevior is awesome You are part of all of our journey as well
Kat- Amen to your affirmation. Sick of comparing my insides with others outsides. We are all unique and all the same. Applaud us for our humanity.
Anna, Linoleaum, CJ, Sandi, and the lurkers. We are a loving group, come join us.
Oh and how is this for a smack in the face? I go grocery shopping tonight. I have been dieting, I don't know any other life. So tonight I bought a wide variety of foods including some cookies I know my son likes. Well I just don't buy that stuff unless I am planning to binge. My sons sees them and says, "These are mine" and starts to take the whole package in his room to eat tonight. I am like, "What are you doing?" You can have a few everyday. He looks at me and says, "They won't last that long" I have taught my family to binge. Eat it quick before someone else does
Have a great day!!!!!!!!
Chris