Hi All,

I'm starting this as sort of an "open diary" for myself. The idea is for this to be an alternative outlet for ugly feelings that, left to their own devices, will drive me to overeat and overdrink.

Visitors and comments welcome and encouraged! This said, this page is not going to have the polite conversational tone that the other threads here have. I think it will be helpful to have a place where I can be super honest without worrying that I will be annoying you all! Rather than post once a day, I plan to come here when life feels unmanageable and I want to avoid acting out with food and drink.

Also, I don't mind if you all post your own whine and rage here. I haven't tried that format ever before, but I don't think it will be a problem for me. The idea is to have a page where I (and maybe you?) have permission to "let it all hang out."

Ok....GO!

And the first post will be....WHAAAAAA, I don't want to get off the couch and get ready for work. I really really don't!

Vent away!
I hear you on the "healthy" overeating still causing weight gain. So unfair, right?!

I gained weight on my trip this summer to Japan and have struggled since. My daughter got married in September and I nervously snacked my way through healthy foods. That coupled with thyroid issues and menopause is making the weight gain stick. So frustrating! On the struggle bus and not willing to give up or give in!

im in pain all the time. how am i supposed to exercise when i cant even go from my kitchen to the living room without pain!
stupid doctor cant figure it out so i can get on with my life

Bigpants, I'm going to PM you.

Hi all, I'll respond to you later, but for now, it's all about ME...


Leaving work, feel so stressed. The reality of being salaried at "part time" is that ai work a lot more than I get paid and my bennies dont reflect that either. The family wonders why I'm still at work, and I feel so rushed to get out...and then I come home with this badty toxic stress feeling and want somethinf, anything, to take the discomfort away.

I'm realising that a clear PLAN would be helpfull. Thrashing against the boundaries only works if I HAVE boundaries.

Good old-fashioned whine here....

I had defrosted pumpkin earlier in the week. Made pie last night. And I made a calories plan today that I am determined to stick with. And the pie is part of the plan. I don't want to trade anything out, but I also want want want pie!!!!! I dint wven care that much about pie. I just want to BE ABLE to eat pie. Whine!!!!!!!

Just reading here is therapeutic. Thanks Georgette!

Sundove, Yay! All this whining got me through a day within my calorie plan. So far, it seems to help!

I don't have a food plan today, which is a disaster waiting to happen. I've go to do that now, before the whole day goes to ****. Like I said, I need boundaries to rail against. DO IT!

Oh, I just discovered that if I type in h eee double hockey sticks, 3fc makes it into ****. Makes it look worse than it is.

Totally feeling anxious about making it through the day within my plan. I was planning to go watch football with my family, but I think I'll skip it. Don't feel like it and I know I will want to eat a bunch since I'll be bored. I like football but I've already been sitting all day. Glad I came on here, helped my figure my plan out. I'm going to stay home.

More anxiety...Been keeping busy but house is a mess. I'm making dinner, which is what I planned. Feeling anxious as heck. Dang it dang it dang it. I think I need to take action in the house instead of wish food would make me feel better....YUCK!

Tonight...what can I say? Today I didn't have a solid plan, I just knew I wanted to stay under cals. It's now 8:30pm, and I've had a light dinner, a drink, and I have the tiniest amt of cals left, and I feel hungry and I want to drink another drink too. I feel desperate. This doesn't feel like whine and rage, this feels like "this is too hard. I am going to give up. Tomorrow will be easier. Tonight it's too hard." Yeah, right. That's not a thing, as the kids say.

So, here I am, hungry, pissed off, frustrated, tired,desperate. This is definitely not "fun" or "a manageable challenge". This is hungry, hate it, no fair, don't want to live like this stuff. I will always be fat and always be in denial and always be fighting food and always be unhappy about it stuff. IT'S NOT FAIR, IT'S NOT FAIR, IT' S NOT FAIR.

Oh, and I hate my husband, house, kid, everything too. Hate hate hate. I just feel like I can't do it anymore.

I'm not giving up yet, and I hope I can report back in the morning that I survived the night, but I'm not sure that's going to be the case. HATE HATE HATE.

Hi Georgette! Great idea for a post thread. Find a dark quiet room (even if it's the bathroom,lol), sit down, do some 4-square or box breathing: Empty lungs breathing out, then slow count of 4 seconds breath in through nose to fill lungs/expand abdomen, hold breath for count of 4 seconds, breathe out through mouth for 4 seconds emptying lungs and releasing abdomen, hold breath for 4 seconds. Be conscious of the air movement as you breathe.
Benefits: According to the Mayo Clinic, there is sufficient evidence that intentional deep breathing can actually calm and regulate the autonomic nervous system. This system regulates involuntary body functions like temperature. It can lower blood pressure and provide an almost-immediate sense of calm.
Box breathing can reduce stress and improve your mood. That makes it an exceptional treatment for conditions like generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, and depression. It can also help treat insomnia by allowing you to calm your nervous system at night before bed. Box breathing can even be efficient at helping with pain management. https://www.healthline.com/health/box-breathing
Wanna know how I know this....? I have to use it because I am going through PTSD from a criminal attack at work. Yes, it helps. Although tonight I went ahead and ate too many almonds just because I felt anxious and tense. I need to also remember to do my Neurokinesthetic technique to gather my disquieting thoughts and move them out of my brain.

Best wishes!
Liana