Hey everyone,

I hope you are all having a wonderful day. I've been having a down few days and just wanted to share. I am still losing weight and yup, I am hella proud about my almost 36 lbs lost so far. People are noticing, I notice it, etc.

I just feel so...almost turned off to my emotions? I don't think I am necessarily being critical of my body, but I'm definitely aware of this spot that needs to lose, this spot...it's almost like I am so hyperaware of how far I have left to go that I am having trouble getting excited about what I have already achieved.

So, while not hating on myself, I'm not exactly celebrating myself either. It's making me feel uncomfortable in my relationship because my drive is so low and I just feel so disconnected, rather than in-tune with my body.

I wish I could just say "I feel fat today" because that's easier to deal with, since we all get that. Today, though, it's more like... I feel disengaged. I was 210 lb Sarah...now I am looking toward 130 lb Sarah...but how do I enjoy being 174 lb Sarah? It's almost like I don't want to get comfortable in this body because it's not the one I want yet.

So...yup. Feeling blue. Nothing earth-shattering but still blue. Thanks for reading

Aww. I'm sorry I don't have any advice, but I do hope you feel better!

"Misery can brainwash you into thinking negatively, instead you must do the opposite and brainwash yourself with positivity."

This quote has been extremely helpful for me because I did the same exact thing that you're doing for too long. I told myself that I was being true to my emotions and that I really felt how I felt and I kept talking up the negative. You have to let 210 Pound Sarah go. Tell her that you love her and that you forgive her for the choices that she made and the damage she caused. And then focus on Present Sarah and praise her and love her for the choices that she's making and the actions that she's taking to love herself. Present Sarah is awesome and strong and powerful and has worked so hard to get to where she is.

Let 210 Pound Sarah go...you'll meet 130 Pound Sarah soon enough and you guys will get along famously.

Sorry if I sound like a crazy person but this is how I talk to myself...lol.

I'm sorry, too. I have the same stats except I'm a half a foot shorter... But I'm also halfway to my goal. I'm not feeling down, exactly, but I'm starting to feel worried that my body s not going to look like it did the last time I was normal weighted, like 16 years ago. Of course, I've aged and then there's the quality of my skin and the fact that I've had two babies... so I kinda knew all along, but I'm noticing today that my proportions seem a little different. Like I'm a little top heavy which I never have been before. I was kinda hoping to get my old body back.

Anyway, I think these feelings will ebb and flow. I'm sure you'll have days before you get to goal that you feel great about your accomplishments and others where you're more frustrated and ready to get on w it. I do wish you felt happier today, though!

"it's almost like I am so hyperaware of how far I have left to go that I am having trouble getting excited about what I have already achieved."

Seriously...get out of my head... (sarcasm) I've been having these exact thoughts...except in my case I am trying to let go of 310 lb Sarah. I wish I had a solution to offer, but all I can offer presently is understanding. I just keep putting one foot in front of another on this path in the hopes of eventually meeting the confident, healthy Sarah I've been smothering all these years. HUG to you!



Chickie- "Sorry if I sound like a crazy person but this is how I talk to myself...lol."...if you are crazy, I must be too because to me everything you wrote seems like wisdom from someone who totally gets it.

That is seriously great advice!

I found that when I was feeling this way during my journey it meant I needed a pause in the weight loss, practice maintenance for a week or two, or get something out of my system (whether it be a binge, a week or so without formal exercise, a rough week at work, make amends with someone, etc.). Then I would be ready to jump back on full force. I went through them at 300, 250, 238, 220, and 205 pounds. If I didn't have a time limit on which to meet for my TT&BL this summer, I would probably be doing one now (rough week at work).

Maybe try adding a few more calories or take a couple days off exercising, practice maintenance. Let you get used to the new you! Then lower your calories back to loosing range or up your exercise. It is good practice for if when you are in maintenance, you slip up. You will KNOW that you are able to get back on.

It may not work for everyone, but I know that it has helped me!

Thank you for taking the time to respond, everyone. ChickieBoom- your post gave me the tears of release that I think I needed. I came home from school and had a night on the couch. I kept reading through 3FC and thinking about how we're all in this together, and then I got off the couch and did No More Trouble Zones. I hate the pain from it but I hate being overweight even more!

I also took a moment to look at my weight loss progress since New Years, and that little post it in the bathroom is pretty darn remarkable. You're right- I do need to be proud of myself. Is this why actors don't watch their own movies? We are so hard on ourselves!

Tomorrow is another chance to succeed and I appreciate you all for reminding me. Solidarity, chickies.