I have a friend who is really weird about my weight loss attempts. I don't talk about it a lot, but last time I saw her we were trying to figure out a place to go get lunch and she suggested a really junky place where it would have been really difficult for me to find something I could eat without too much damage. I casually said I was trying to watch what I was eating and let's go someplace else. She insisted that I was being ridiculous and that I didn't need to watch what I was eating, I just needed to be more like her- stop buying junk food to keep around the house and prepare more meals at home.
I bit my tongue, but she is 6 inches shorter than me and 2 sizes bigger. Not only that, but her kitchen is FULL of junk, and just because you baked that cake yourself doesn't mean it's low-calorie. I cook dinner almost every night for my husband and I, and she eats out a lot and eats a lot of pre-prepared food when she is at home. Before when we've gone out to lunch, if I order anything less than the giant, double-decker cheeseburger with bacon and guacamole that she's having, she says something like, "Oh, wow, you're making me feel bad, you're ordering such a healthy meal." I think part of it is she doesn't even know what a "healthy meal" is, because sometimes I would have ordered something very unhealthy, it was just fish or chicken.
Anyway, while we were having this conversation about her weight loss advice, she had asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. I had said, "sure" and she brought me out a cup of hot, whole milk with a teabag floating in it that must have also contained at least 1/4 c. of sugar. She had one, too, and has often told me that she loves "tea" though we usually don't meet at her house so I hadn't ever experienced what she meant by this before. After I took the first sip and realized what it was, I didn't even know what to do. I wasn't trying to make a big deal out of anything, but the thought of consuming ALL those calories just to be polite seemed really stupid. I ended up drinking about half of it very slowly and managed to discard the rest when she wasn't looking. Still, it felt wasteful, I didn't even like it, and I felt like she was trying to prove a point.
I think part of the problem is that she feels defensive about it, since she is not watching what she eats and I am, but I really try not to talk about this kind of thing around her or any of my friends because it makes me uncomfortable, and I have never said anything to suggest that she should try and lose weight. Plus, we can go to just about any restaurant and I can find something reasonable and not even have anyone notice that I'm eating low calorie. Grilled chicken and veggies? Salad with dressing on the side? I'm not picky. That's how I got fat in the first place!
I guess I just wonder if ya'll have similar experiences with friends trying to sabotage you, talk you out of becoming healthy, or poo-pooing you, and if so, how do you handle it? She really is a nice person and a good friend, but just this one issue is really making me feel distant from her.