And By "That Guy" I mean two things:

#1 The reluctant success story.

#2 The attractive one.

Guy #1: I feel awkward telling people I'm dieting now. I'm proud and grateful, but I mean. It's so awkward. People are excite,but it seems kinda like side-showish wonder or even kinda like they're thinking "FINALLY, i know he was like two breaths from death." I know this may be silly, but it's how I feel.

Guy #2: This actually makes me quite uncomfortable. I get a lot of attention that i do NOT understand. I sometimes think it's a female-wide prank on me. My friends say i get a lot of "heat". I rationalize by saying it's probably because girls realize I would never pursue lol. Which I wouldn't. Too self-conscious. I can't imagine more awkward exchanges. Even though, it is funny to see the confused "why are you not thrilled i'm flirting..." look on girls faces when I don't lose my mind when they show me attention. I have been told i have loads of charisma, but come one. What if I can't handle the social interaction aspect of being more attractive. It's already super awkward to make it known that i am NOT interested in a relationship of anything more than friends with anyone right now...

gosh this got ranty... any insight? Or am i just crazy?

You not only need to make physical changes but emotional ones as well. You don't believe in yourself and love yourself enough. If you don't love yourself how do you expect someone to like you? Quite honestly I also think your afraid to give yourself so that you don't get hurt, just in case this girl wants to go to third base with you. You look at yourself with loathing in the mirror and think she will too. Your body and your mind has to change together.

At the end of the day this is how I look at it why stand in the way of someone that wants to care about you?
Good luck on your journey

Can't disagree with you there....but i'm not so much worried about like 3rd base lol

Therightweight.... sorry i hope you dont mind me butting in but i had to add my 2 cents.lol

Your not crazy.. i understand how you feel.. My family is sick of hearing me say im on a diet.. since i say it repeatedly. My sister tells me i should start a clothes brand called tomorrow since thats when i tell her im gonna start my diet. yet tomorrow never seems to come.
As for dating or even talking to a guy its totally out of the question i dont feel comfortable in my own skin so how could a guy like me. im in the same boat as you..

Except for on-line, and my wife, I don't tell anybody I'm trying to lose weight. Everyone is different, some more open than others, and in this matter, I'm just not open. If someone mentions I look like I lost weight I just say, yes, a little. Most people (all so far) just drop the subject.

If you ask me why, the first reason that comes to mind is that I don't want the conversation centered on me and my particular problem, there are so many other interesting things to discuss.


That's not to say I don't think there is not a need to discuss the issue (that's why I'm here), I just don't want it to govern my interactions with friends,relatives and co-workers

I agree with georgepds. If you're not comfortable telling people you're dieting, don't. You're making changes in your habits because that's what you want to do - you don't need to use the d-word unless you want to.

As far as #2 - A lot of people seem to go through this, with varying degrees of success. I have no experience with this sort of thing (and therefore no advice), but if you don't get satisfactory advice here, you might try asking over on one of the Maintainers' boards.

Good luck!

Hi TheRightWeight,

I know exactly what you mean. I've been told that I look handsome many times, but I never take those compliments seriously!!! I always feel like those complimenting me don't have any other thing good to say, so they just end up saying I look handsome . I think we both share a similar problem, lack of confidence (sadly). But that's what's motivating me to lose weight, to look good AND feel good. Its cheering me on to be someone that I WANT to be, someone I'm DYING to be! . Its natural for you to feel that way, because thats how most people feel (those who are unsatisfied about their bodies).

Which is why you're on this website aiming to lose weight. Wish you the best of luck and hope we both reach our goal!

I can relate to you there too with both scenarios! Still looking for the answer lol...

Ok this doesn't have anything to do with my original post..but Tiara is REALLY pretty...I'm just saying...LOL. Thank you all for chiming in...it's always good to have people to relate to and/or show you a different perspective...

I agree with the emotional changes. I mean, can't a girl just flirt with you because you're a great guy? Or fun to talk to? Don't be so down on yourself!

I am the exact same way. I don't want people to know. I think subconsciously it's because I don't want them all to notice when I don't succeed fast enough!

You're definately not crazy! I think that you can be "That Guy" When you are ready to be! Till then... just be You!

best advice i could hear right now... THANKS

Anytime, dear!!!!

I think this is a common trend. When a girl compliments me I think she is being nice and if a girl flirts I think it is just because I am considered "safe"

One of the two big reasons I am dieting right now is because there is a girl who is showing interest in me. She is small and very attractive and I feel like she deserves better.

True or not its how I feel and I am sure others do as well. Also even if the reason for weight loss is bad isnt the result always good

Are women allowed to jump in here?

TheRightWeight - You are worthy of all the flirting in the world. You just have to learn to accept it and enjoy it. Flirting isn't a life commitment! Keep up the good work in the diet department and soon you'll realize how worthy you are. I wish you all the best!

Jayded1 - you said, "True or not its how I feel and I am sure others do as well. Also even if the reason for weight loss is bad isnt the result always good"

If you lose weight for any reason, the result IS good. However, if the "reason" goes away, will you continue on the healthy eating plan? I think this is the reason many people fail at dieting. Unless we make changes for ourselves, we are likely to stop if what motivated us in the first place changes.

Good luck in your quest to lose weight and to get the girl. You only have 40 pounds to get to your goal weight. I hope you accomplish this quickly and then realize that YOU are the real reason for making the change!

Lin