Hi - I'm not sure if I should post this here, or somewhere else, or just maybe go talk to someone. I feel a little vulnerable saying this, actually. But maybe I just need a good kick in the butt and to quit feeling sorry for myself.
Sometimes I think or catch myself "punishing" myself by eating more than I should or things that are not healthy. I don't stop and really analyze it that minute, but later think about it. For instance, I don't really have a set schedule for work. So some days I get up, procrastinate, and decide to watch TV in the morning and don't get to work until 10:30 am. I get mad at myself as I'm driving to work, and decide what the h*** and eat Zingers and a Coke for breakfast and McDonald's for lunch. Then I end up staying at work until 8 or 9 pm and don't go to the gym afterwards. I know I shouldn't, but I'm so irritated with myself that I just don't care.
My husband and I are having financial difficulties due to him quitting his full time job and going back to college 4 years ago. He still has a year left to get a double major. So, I get mad at both of us for our lack of discipline in not spending money which has lead to our crisis, One measly case in point - we are having to borrow money from my parents to pay $3,000 to fix the transmission in our SUV. I mean, I'm 38, and I have to ask mommy and daddy for money? How pathetic is that? It makes me mad and embarrased just thinking about it. So all day today I've been eating crappy food, partly for comfort, and partly because I know I shouldn't because it will lead to me gaining weight back, and I just don't care right this second.
Thanks for letting me vent it out, maybe I just needed to get it off my chest. I guess lazy procrastinators that can't take care of their money deserve to be healthy, thin, and happy too! Even me......