Hi there fellow "Beckies" (great nickname for us Maryblu),
I am really inspired by the response about maintaining Bill-thanks for sharing. While I did share with all of you that it is hard when people begin to comment on my weight, it is also hard when they STOP (if I get to my goal weight and look the same all the time...not smaller from the time before they saw me)... It makes so much sense to really keep pounding those reasons and appreciating even the small things that we experience from losing weight.

Thank you Maryblu for leading the first 2 days of Beck-you did a thorough and thoughtful job of it.

SuchaTwin-I assume that you are talking about the Dancing with the Stars Cardio video?? I got it from amazon.com. I also saw it in an exercise video catalog that I get periodically in the mail. It is fun!

Off to bed-have a great day tomorrow everyone-Heidi

Hi everyone,

Thanks MaryBlue for getting us started again with the book. I will do the section 5 and 6 after next week as my lent book should be returned by the end of this week.

My diet plan-I do like working with staying about 1600 cal a day based upon my weight and limited exercising. WW point is the back up, but really find it ackward to have to calculate the points-If I ate more chain restaurant foods or premade dishes it would be easier as WW is so good about giving the points for those types of foods.

I have read that some of us have to cope with depression-add me to those numbers. I was using an anti-depressive drug, but about 6 months ago found I got so nervous in general and particular when I driving I got off of them. I am fine right now , but I respect that depression can be cyclical. I have been using meditation to understand how passing most of our thoughts are. Plus swimming is a really loved exercise-so calming for me. And honestly still use at time some comfort foods-i,e, ice cream during the the strong storms and power outage.

I find my two very serious trigger areas are emotional- A habit of self medicating my feelings and social-being around others who are eating. I need help in idenifying those those thoughts which last a millesecond prior to eating. I know I have them they just do not register in my brain long enough to argue with the sabatoging thoughts.

So agree with you Heidi about feeling more self confident when dealing with people. I am still over 300 but I know that I have lost over 60 lbs. I feel more poised than an year ago and folk do seem friendlier to me. Some of it has to be me less angry with me-In the past I would be a more upset when size 12 gaining weight than at a size 20 who was losing. The role of attitude versus what the scales absolutly say!

Erika- Yesterday went to a great classical music performance-violinist, cellist and pianist Roy Bogas-What a Concert. would Love to hear you play Great job about not eating when feeling so frustrated and down about the fight with your daughter. One of area I need to gain more skills in.

Bill, glad you are fighting your prejudice about the fatties of the world. One of the greatest gifts we can give others and our own self is acceptance and compassion. Inspite of people's appearance and personality one never know the battles they are fighting inside.

Ann, I am working on planning my treats-Too often I am either "Perfect" modest amount of only nutritious foods to "overindulgent"-large amount of only nonnutritious foods. Working on getting a balance.

a big wave to all of us Beckers!

The days seem longer already - nice.

Another item on my Advantages Response Card is:When I'm living in the state of suspended personal responsibility - knowing that I'm at the wrong weight - I keep all my outgrown clothes in my closet, in stacks, in another room, wherever. I create clutter that further reduces my responsibility for my life. I have only a few items that currently fit yet have no space to add a new purchase. When I lost the 80 pounds, I felt free to donate all the mounds and to create space in my closet that allowed me to choose clothes that fit and that I liked.

I once asked a thin friend how he managed to stay the same size over the years. He replied that he had a whole wardrobe of well fitted clothes and whenever they began to feel snug, he cut back. I was struck that my behavior was to just buy a few temporary items at the next size up.



Sue (CoastalSue) - Thanks for taking on Program-days 5 and 6 next week. We're now looking for someone to step up for Program-days 3 and 4 this week. Who can do that?

Your comment "...large amount of only non-nutritious foods" reminds me that my excess weight came from packaged cookies and the like - not from too many apples. If your store were giving away free apples rather than Ben & Jerry's ice cream, I think I'd happily take the amount that would fit in my fridge that we could consume in a week. I wouldn't even think of knocking over small kids to get more.


MaryBlu - Thanks for getting us started on 2008 with Program-Days 1 and 2, and for the reminder, "It is kinda the old adage, if you want to really learn something, teach it."


SuchAtwin - Waving back.


Ann (Newlifestyle) - "If my food is all planned out for the day, I do much better than if I am winging it." That is true for me also, and it also grates me. For some reason I feel degraded that I have to plan as differs from the mythical thin people who eat intentionally with no effort. This reminds me that I also believe in mythical wise people who act without self doubt. Like really, LOL.


Cammie (CammieCam) - Come tell us just one nice thing about your Paris trip before you forget them all.


Heidi (hbuchwald) - Your observation, "... it is also hard when they STOP [commenting on the weight loss]" reminds me that I give over feeling my own self worth to the comments of others. So you hit it, another good reason to keep reading my Advantages Response Card is to own my own self worth independent of comments by others.


Erika (eusebius) - The second item on your Advantages Response Card is "Better health." That's also my second item - wonder where it fits in everybodys' prioritized list.


Readers - "The way you think - seeing hunger as an emergency, overestimating the discomfort and duration of cravings, underestimating how thin people restrict their eating - makes it more difficult for you to stick with a diet." Beck, pg 43. 

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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Good morning all.

Maryblu, thank you so very much for starting us out.

Sue, I too found that I am more accepting of myself at this weight, than when I was 130 pounds. I was so critical. At 230, I was confident and my weight did not bother me. It was when I read the file at the doctors office and it said, morbidly obese....I was shocked, I had no idea. I knew I was fat but had no idea there was a problem with it.....I guess because I didn't have any medical problems yet,,,,,I do say yet, because it was just over time and I would have developed problems.

Erika, great job not emotionally eating after being stressed. Yeah you.

Heidi, what other sort of videos do you have,,,,,just teasing. It was your response that made me ask this. I too think the Dancing With The Stars would be a fun workout.

SuchATwin, I do hope your day is going well and you come and visit here.

Cammie, how are you doing? Where are you

Bill, I like planning my meals. When people ask what I am having for lunch, I look in my bag and act surprised, like I had nothing to do with packing it. It is kind of fun. I think that I have kept off my weight this time because I got rid of the clothes that were too big for me. I have clothes that fit me and ones that are smaller. I too heard from thin friends that gaining weight is not an option for them as they can't afford to buy new clothes. Good strategy for me.


Have a great day everyone and enjoy.
Ann

Oh I have such fond memories of Day 3......Sit Down to Eat

I like how Beck reminds us to notice and savor every bite. I never realized that I would love the taste of food. Previously I would just shovel food into my mouth without ever really tasting it. It was mindless eating at it's best.

Eating my food while sitting down is easy as I use my response card 1.....Just Do It Anyway.

When Beck wrote standing up to eat is not an option, I believed this to be true. At least for me it is true.

I could previously convince myself it was okay to stand up and eat as it would only be one time but I realize one time turned into two, and so on. It is a destructive behavior for me. This is one skill I need if I want to continue to lose weight and keep out what I have lost.

Have a wonderful day enjoying all meals, snacks, bites, tastes, licks, while sitting.

Ann

I'm amazed both by how hard this is (sitting down for every bite) and how ably it points up the number of times a day I take "just a bite" of something I don't count! No wonder those many stone crept on... Being food obsessed isn't the same as being aware, I'm learning. Powerful strategy, this.

Hi Everyone,
I'd love to join your group, I've had the book and workbook for quite some time but I got stuck on week 16 in Nov and just drifted away from the whole thing. I have recommitted to it and am starting right back at day 1.
I have managed to hang in there with the diet plan, but I know from experience diet alone won't get me through for the long term.
Cheers!
Lori

Howdy,

Welcome nighthawk- it great you'll be joining us. I am with you that I took an extented holiday break from daily Beck chapters and checklists while hanging on to a loose generous food plan. Time to get back to losing weight again.

MaryBlu has lead(very nicely also) the discussion of section 1 and 2 as we are doing just 2 sections a week.

I also have notice that while I "love" food, I can forget to taste it. Had a yummy lunch plan after a long tiresome meeting-During lunch, I was getting worked up about some of the politics and I forgot to really enjoy and taste my food.-I actually thought what a waste of great flavors to discuss this while eating and stop thinking about the meeting.

I want to add to the my sitting down card a concept of enjoying the food while seating.

I am working on including more planned treats for my week-Went to our local markets and no one is carrying ice cream becauses of power shortages and the stores lost so much money. I guess we'll have to wait until the series of storms come and go before they restock again. One is not carrying any dairy at all-thanks heaven the other carries cottage cheese and milk. Otherwise it is an 2 hour round trip.

A bit stressed at home as we are doing a massive clean up and purging of old mementos, furniture, projects, unused but useful stuff, kind of like this but not really, maybe tomarrow I find a place for it stuff, stuff, stuff, - the beginning was painful, but we finally see a difference-We should be done in 3 more days or so. Then room to do more projects and space to find the supplies. It is odd but as I work at eating less, I seem to need less in other areas in my life. This all started with cleaning out the drawers when we had no electrictry and now has excalated to full gargage(never has room for a car) make over-the power of getting bored.

best wishes to all
sue

Sue, you are picking up the theme I mentioned when I first joined this group. Letting go. For those just joining, I am a twin and such a twin that I find I "need" so many things for my own security. This is changing but it is a struggle. I have not read past chapter 15 in J. Beck's book yet because I found myself rebelling to her suggestions. I am becoming more patient with myself and just re-reading and listening here to others who have been succesful at this discipline.
Heidi, thanks for more info on the video. I will look for it on Amazon. I am all about hokey fun for exercise. I saw Richard Simmons on The Today Show this morning and fondly remembered using one of his videos in the past.
About depresssion. I too have had major bouts and thank God for medication to see me through. It is not a cure but gives one a toe hold in the rock face of the mountain--for some. Thankfully, I have developed a pretty healthy sense of humor so that I can allow myself to forgive myself and others more easily than I could in the past. I read once that depression is anger turned inward and I so believe that this is true. It is holding onto behavior. Let's all resolve to let stuff go. If only we (I mean I), didn't have just a hang-up with wasting things. Would Beck say, Oh well?

to the Beck discussion group, Lori (nighthawk),

Are you from that part of Canada where you Canadians keep all the neat stuff like the Athabasca Glacier, Jasper National Park, and the Canadian Rockies?


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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Enjoyed 70 degree weather yesterday; went walking dressed like it was Spring. Had to bring my oldest car for its emissions inspection, having failed its first attempt two months ago. IT PASSED. Feels as good as an NSV.

Originally I dismissed Sit Down to Eat since I couldn't imagine that I didn't. Then I began to notice. I ate a sample of each item I put on my plate. I popped one in my mouth of whatever (edible) I took out of a bag. I snacked from my plate on the way to the table, even though I was walking only a few feet to the kitchen table. Stopping all these helped me to focus on eating mindfully, seemed to reduce the trivialization of food. Sure caught me by surprise.


Sue (CoastalSue) - Congratulations on being able to get rid of "unused but useful stuff." After I perfectly resolve my relationship with food, LOL, attacking my clutter is next. Do you have any suggestions?

SuchAtwin - Interesting that you connect "wasting things" and "let stuff go." I need to grow in both places; hadn't thought of them as connected.

Ann (Newlifestyle) - Your comment about shoveling in the food reminds me of the notion from the Omnivore's Delima that only the first bite of a McDonald's hamburger has any taste; after that, it's just comfort food mush.

avvocata - Loved you insight, "Being food obsessed isn't the same as being aware." I so hate admitting that I am obsessed with food. Oh Well.

Lori (nighthawk) - Yeah, diet alone isn't enough for me; beginning to believe that the Beck strategies might provide the difference.

Readers - "No matter what your mindset is like today, you can learn how to change it, not only to lose weight, but also to make sure that you keep it off - permanently." Beck, pg 43. 

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Completed Beck Program-day 42. You’ve met your goal. Congratulations!

Hi there friends,
I didn't check in yesterday since I went to bed early. I found out yesterday that my dog, who I thought was "off a bit" is experiencing liver failure! I am devastated. I don't know the prognosis yet but I was running him to vet appts. yesterday and quite emotional all day long. I ate according to my plan and chose to skip exercising to go to bed. I kept waking up wondering if he was still with us... don't know how long this will last but it will put my healthy living skills to the test for sure. This is even more reason for me to take care of myself-keep my energy up to take extra care of him and to be able to keep up with my other responsibilities and life activities. I am so sad. The lifespan of our pets don't match up to humans' and that BITES!

Anyway, I read everybody's current comments and always enjoy taking them all in. Thanks for listening/reading and keep on hanging in there!

Hi everyone!
Welcome Lori, where are you at? I have a brother in the South Surrey/White Rock area.
SuchATwin - ITA, depression recovery is about letting go of so many layers of things. I find that yoga is incredibly helpful for this.
Bill - decluttering is a big goal of mine as well. I find that living healthier physically naturally leads to a desire to let go of clutter. I've been using the "Change Your Life Challenge" for this (www.changeyourlifechallenge.com) but Flylady or Peter Walsh's book "It's all too much!" have worked really well for many people.
Tuesdays are so crazy for me - drop off the kid at 7:30 at daycare, 45 min commute, 9 to 4:30 without a break, come home, pick up kid, go shopping ... aagh! But I got up at 5:30 to do yoga ... and again today at 6:30 ... so that is helping.
Heidi - big hugs to you and prayers for your beloved pup. I know how important pets can become in our lives and this must just be so difficult to go through.
Have a great day everyone,
Erika

Hello everyone,
I hope you are all doing well. I just lost my post.....I will send out a condensed version.

Heidi, I am so sorry to hear about your dog. I hope you are able to take care of your dog and yourself through this difficult time.

Welcome Lori, which part of BC do you live in?

Sue, I find as I start to be more aware of me eating, I want to get rid of clutter in my garage and basement. It is almost as if I had a need to keep this clutter and a need for certain food. I think of you swimming and think I should start swimming. I love swimming, I find it so relaxing.

Maryblu, how are you doing?

Cammie, where are you?

SuchATwin, I think forgiving ones self is so difficult for me. I can forgive others for things they do, and I encourage them to forgive themselves. I am just much harder on myself. I need help with this one.

Bill congrats on your vehicle passing the emissions test....it probably is a relief. You don't want to add more pollutants into our environment. We try to walk every where and people always ask why we don't have our car. It is not only healthy for us but for others too.

Erika, hi there, how are you doing?

Waving hello to everyone.
Have a great day.
Ann

Avvocata: Welcome. Are you a lawyer? Just wondering about your tag. In Texas, we would just think you were referring to our favorite fruit (avocado) using a phonetic spelling. Good for you for sitting down to eat.
Welcome also to Lori. Sounds like we are about in the same place in the book.
I would make some helpful comments to this post, but my perimenopause has me crazy today with heart palps, cravings, etc. I will credit myself for driving away from a Sonic after parking to look at the ice cream pictures on the menu. I decided a beer and a nap would be better for coping. I'll let you all know how that worked for me later.
Heidi, so sorry about your pup. Obviously you are a loving master and friend.
Hello and hugs to all my friends here. For typing ease, ya'll can call me...
Kitt