I'm so sorry about you Grandfather,Tink. This is really a hard time and I commend you for reaching out for help. We are here for you.

Prayers for you and your family
patd

Hey Tink-

We love you.

Oh Tink - I am so very sorry to hear about your grandfather. This is such a hard time for you and your family. We are here for you, my friend - please let us know how we can help.

hi im new year and ive read each blog fromt eh beginning and i think its great to hear about people like me. i want to stop binge eating before my life becomes more complicated (meaning college arriving, children, who knows?)...
to me power less is when...
i have to skip school because the day following a binge is so bad that my stomach hurts, full of gas, gross tastes in my mouth, irregular digestion for days, its pathetic! ive called into work because ive binged so bad that i cant even move! in fact i make sure the day isnt important after a binge because i know ill feel like crap, constipated, gross , gassy! its who i am and its something that i feel controls me. i wait until peopel go to sleep to eat, i hide and stuff stuff stuff myself! i want to stop but im not sure how, food has consumed my life adn every wehre i go i fell "powerless"
-nicole (nyk)-

Hey Nicole-

It sounds like you're in the right place, and you are very welcome here.

Take a look at the www.oa.org website and find a meeting close to you. Then, go! You will find others just like you, help, and support.

Welcome Nicole - you have found the right place. I know exactly how you feel - everything you wrote about is something that I have experienced too.

Marny is right - PLEASE consider finding an OA meeting near you going to it. You will find other there who will know exactly what you are talking about. YOU ARE NOT ALONE!

Sending you my very best wishes...

Hi! I'm new here and new to OA, but I am working on Step 1 and finally beginning to feel it and understand it. To me, being powerless over food means that food is my drug. I use it so that I don't have to feel emotions in my life. I am able to avoid life and ease pain with food. I am not able to stop at one bite or one serving. I always want more and obsess over food all day long. No amount is ever enough, and I'm always living for that next bite. Living to eat rather than eating to live.

I am beginning to realize that being powerless over food is not something to be ashamed of. It just is. And I know now that I will ALWAYS have this struggle. It is not something that will go away with my next diet or after losing weight. And that's ok and part of who I am, but I need to admit it and try to recover and take it day by day.

Admitting this is very soothing and helpful to me. I feel a big weight taken off my shoulders. I admit I have NO CONTROL over food! I need help, and I am going to get it. I can not do this alone and somehow that gives me such a sense of freedom to know that I don't have to try to control every thing on my own anymore.

Hi Tatiana,
I have been reading these posts for awhile but not writing. When I read your post today I had to reply because it really spoke to me.Especially your first paragraph. All these things are true for me also. I didn't eat very well last for supper and I also ate after supper which is a very dangerous thing for me to do. I did this because I was really tired and bored. But I then ended up staying up until almost 12 last night. So I definately ate last night so that I wouldn't feel my emotions. I also have a shopping addiction and for the first time in my life( I'm 52) I am trying to live by a budget. It is really hard but also really good for me. I am tried of just switching my addictions - I am so powerless. I know that I need to feel my emotions and just ride them through because they will change.

Thank you for your post ...it has inspired me to get back up and try again.

Welcome, Tatiana and Ducky - glad to have both of you. Sounds like you both "got it," and this is the first step to recovery. Let's all do this together... None of us is alone in this struggle. There are many more like us.

Hugs to both of you,

Wow Ducky, we sound a lot a like. I have been feeling the same way. I need to stop switching my addictions! I started off on drugs as a teenager, switched to alcohol, in my late teens and early 20s, and have used food my entire life. I have also been thinking I have a shopping addiction. I always spend every last penny we have. I don't go out and buy extravagant things, but if we have it, I'll spend it. Before I had my daughter, I was spend it on my pets. Now that I have her, I spend it on her. And always on food! It has gotten so bad that I'm trying to convince my husband to open a savings account in his name and not allow me access. Otherwise, I fear we will never save a penny and that scares me now that we're parents.

For awhile, I was thinking about how I should find a new, healthy addiction in stead of food, since I know I am always addicted to something! But I know that is not the way to go, which is what brought me here. I am beginning to understand that following the 12 steps and getting support is the only way to free myself from addictions. It has worked for so many others, surely it can work for us!

And thank you for your post! You encouraged me to keep trying today.

Sanypickle - Thank you so much! I can really feel the love and understanding here in this forum. If people are this nice in OA, I can't wait to find a f2f meeting and make more friends.

Okay I'm going to just jump right in here. What book are you all working through? I've read the first couple of posts on this thread, and it's like talking to myself. I can't believe that I've finally found a spot that I can totally relate to. It's so hard for people to take me serious since "chart wise" I'm not over weight. Every single waking moment for me though is spent thinking about food. It scares me because I know it won't be long before I'm over weight again, unless I get a handle on this. I don't even know where to start though...everyday I wake up and say this is the day that I'm going to start, and before I even finish the thought I'm thinking about what I want to eat. I think people have a hard time understanding food addiction...I know I do. I find it very hard because of that to open up to people...I feel like they'll look at me like I'm insane. If you don't want to eat it then just don't eat it...if only it were that easy. It's like something takes over me until I eat it, and once I start it's really hard to stop. I just want a normal relationship with food, and I know I'll never have a 100% normal one, but I hope to get to at least 85%-90%. I want more good days then bad, I want more happy days then sad, I want more joy and less guilt. So if you could lead me to the book your all working through and offer any suggestions on how to begin I would greatly appreciate it. I know I can get this under control, and I'm ready to.

Hey Tina-

We're members of Overeaters Anonymous. In OA, we have several books that we use to work our program. I recommend that you go to www.oa.org and find a meeting that is near you, and GO! I also recommend that you order the book "The 12 Steps and Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous" which you can get at the oa website or amazon.

We can't recover from our obsession with food alone-- believe me, we've tried over and over. So, we use the tools of the program and find relief, support, and acceptance.

You are welcome here.

Hello Tina- sounds like you had a good weight loss, but the "voices in your head" need to get with the program. Wow- that is the hardest part. As Marny said, having a program like OA is key to getting the beast of addiction/obscession out of your life. Some people talk about getting this "under control", but most of us are good at willpower stuff until it comes to food and then we have to realize that willpower alone will not work. Strongly urge you to check out a 12 step program like OA. WELCOME!

Thank you for the advice Tommy and Marny- I did look for meetings in my area and found on that meets at a time I could make it. I'm scared to death though to go. I don't know if it's the fear of the unknown, of what will come up, how I will be recieved. I'm not sure, but just thinking about it scares me. I'm ready though to get better, and I know I need help. I've tried so many times to do this on my own, and I fail everytime. I'm going to give the lady a call and see what I need to do to sign up. Thank you

Tina, I totally understand that obsession with food that you're talking about. I recently heard a sobering statistic: each of us makes on average of 200 food-related decisions each and every day (most of them subconsciously). If we make 90% of them "right," but 10% of them "wrong" - we are at risk of obesity. Wow - 10%!

You have done so well already, letting go of as much excess weight as you have. I second Marny - please try to find a f2f OA meeting to get the support you (and all of us) need to help make the right food-related decisions.

We can do this together...