Some family was over today. They bring stress with them, and I try to limit my contact because of this. I really wanted to eat. I wanted to escape from the anxious feelings that I was having and dive right into the food.
I stopped, and I thought, "They aren't worth me ruining my abstinence." I stood there in the kitchen and made myself think about the feelings that I was having. I made myself acknowledge that it was these feelings that made me want to eat--not hunger. I wasn't hungry; I had just had lunch. So, I washed dishes and folded clothes to keep busy. I said my abstinence prayer. Just as I was about to pick up the phone to call another OA member for some support, the family left. Almost instantly the urge to eat faded.
That was horrible. I haven't felt driven towards food like that for weeks. It was a good wake up call to remember how I used to feel everyday. I was miserable. My stomach was growling (howling). I couldn't shake the idea of food.
Marny, Congratulations on getting to the route of your problems yesterday. I stopped mid binge, but I wish I could get to the point where I stop BEFORE it starts! (I know... someday... it's a slow process...)
Family tends to do that to a lot of us... I just can't be around mine without the urge to eat, so I avoid it at all costs.
Jac--
Wow, stopping mid-binge may even be harder than not starting at all. You are making great progress. Would you have stopped in the middle a month ago? Two weeks ago?
Ellis-
You are right. Thank you for reminding me that the addiction will always be there. When I feel really good for a while, I like to think it's gone. That's a huge mistake, because I've opened myself up to having it bite me on the butt.
Hey Marny,
I just now found the OA Forum. I'm glad that I did, because I realize that I do have a problem with eating. As I told you before there is no group in my area (that I'm aware of...) so I think that I will hang out here now and again and just soak in information.
Babsy--So glad that you are here! Have you contacted OA to see if there is a meeting near you?
OA World Service Office: 505-891-2664
or www.overeatersanonymous.org
Local OA groups usually advertise in the local newspapers in the classifieds under "meetings". You could look there too. There may be a meeting in a nearby city that you could get to once a week.
Just checked out the web site. The closest meeting is 2 hours away on Monday nights. A little far to be traveling the roads of Wyoming alone at night. Oh well. I know I can find resources to use.
The addiction reared its ugly head today
