I hate myself for doing this

Born This Way · 03-21-2011, 09:27 PM

For the past 4 days I've eaten to the point of getting sick. till my stomach hurts. I know it's bad, but I can't stop. and i've been doing so good and now i'm just gaining it back. my stomach hurts so much and i'm so mad i have no control. i feel helpless and defeated. my own mind is working against me. it convinces me its ok to just keep going when my body is screaming to stop. it convinces me it needs to get more in because i'll start kicking in to gear tomorrow.

well i'm sick of waiting for tomorrow. i want to be happy and healthy and skinny today. i am so depressed about this it makes me hate myself

babybird · 03-22-2011, 12:21 PM

I know your pain. I live it every day. Are you familiar with OA? It's not a diet, but it's the only thing that's worked for me in decades. It seems that you, like me, are a compulsive overeater and can't stop. You are powerless over food. Overeaters Anonymous can help you to get out of the madness. If you're already working the program, focus on step one. Really focus on it. Sometimes when I'm in relapse (binging) I do this until it clicks that my disease is back and made me powerless once again. Then I'm able to crawl out of the darkness. There is a ton of information online about OA and how it works. If you've tried everything else, try this. Best wishes.

xloverskillx · 03-23-2011, 09:06 PM

I have been doing this for two weeks. I just did it like 2 hours ago. I eat to the point of getting sick and all I think about is food. I feel like I am trapped and I want to have my life back. You aren't alone

MiZTaCCen · 03-24-2011, 12:19 PM

It's weird how we sabotage ourselves and we know we're doing it but we don't stop! Do you think too much about your dieting and losing weight? I find when I do I constantly want to eat. I try and be carefree when it comes to my life style change because if I obsess nothing good comes out of it.

krampus · 03-28-2011, 10:23 AM

Same boat. I'm at that point where I can't tell whether I binge because I'm depressed or whether I'm depressed because I binge.

Jen415 · 03-28-2011, 01:51 PM

OA is a great program filled with people just like you and me. Our addiction is different than alcohol or drugs because we have to "walk the beast three times a day". All I can do is take one meal at a time....