[marny]

I know that I'm irritable, restless, and discontent when I start looking for jobs and updating my resume.

I've just spent the last two hours wavering between a career as a corrections officer or selling cell phones.

Yeah. That's not compulsive or irrational or anything.

I've figured out that I do this as an escape. It's a possible way out of my current responsibilities. I can just drop everything that I currently do, and go to a job. It's like a "reasonable" way of walking away from the commitments I've made and the responsibilities that I currently have.

Right.

I'll wake up tomorrow, and the feelings will probably have passed. I hope so. I really don't like feeling like this. Job searching always reminds me of how I don't have the skills for the jobs that I want, and the skills that I do have are for jobs that I don't want. It leaves me feeling stuck, discouraged, and worthless.

So, why do I do it? To escape. Same reason I used to eat or drink. And it works as well for me as eating and drinking did.

[sidhe]

Aww, Marny, just wanted to give you a I hope it gets better for you tomorrow.