The kitchen reno is now stalled for 5-7 days while we wait for the flooring to arrive from the US. I see lots of frozen microwave meals in my immediate future. I did NOT burst into tears when I read the email announcing this. I have no time for anything for the next 3 days and DH is going away so I'll accept that I'll eat whatever is fast, hot, and filling.
I too am admiring a lot of the intricate and elaborate tats the younger people are sporting. I wonder though, if you intend to work in banking say, how those Asian symbols on your face and those two elaborate "sleeves" all over your arms will go over? And there are several dogwalkers who have a pawprint or two tattooed on their legs and they look like bruises. My older, wrinkly sun aged skin would not take a tat well so I will continue to admire without getting one myself.
Off to agility this evening with Trixie. A bright spot in an otherwise depressing day - did I mention my car has been recalled yet again? SIGH.
I've danced around the idea of a tattoo for a number of years. If I were to get one, it would be a sepia-colored, old-world style compass rose, just below my collarbone. And I would have an arrow pointing to the North, and would have the lettering done in a mirror image so that it would be correct for me each morning while I'm getting ready to go. To remind me to stay on course. Something like:
My sister just called and I feel so bad for her. Her husband who has Parkinson's also has either dementia, Alzheimer's, or a serious reaction to his Parkinson's meds. She was going to go visit our dad in a couple of weeks but sent an email earlier today stating that she doesn't think it is wise for her to try and fly with her husband. He has been having delusions (hallucinations?) that there are people in their house listening to everything. When she called she said she had to leave work early (again--fourth time this week) because her neighbor called. He saw her husband walking in the neighborhood and went to talk to him. He thought the "people in the house" had taken my sister and he was looking for her. She also said that he's convinced someone took up all the grout in their kitchen floor, laid down antenna and re-grouted it, so every conversation is recorded. He has insisted on talking to her outside in the driveway. She was on the brink of tears. She has called his neurologist numerous times to get him in. All they do is schedule him weeks out and offer no help. She has a friend who's husband had Alzheimer's and she has asked her what kind of help she got but hasn't heard anything. I suggested she call the hospital and ask to speak to social services to see if they have any ideas. Do any of you have any suggestions I can offer her?
Thanks for letting me rant. I feel so bad for her.
Allison, rant as much as you like. It's such a difficult situation.
My understanding is that dementia is one of the mental symptoms some sufferers of Parkinson's have. (There are lots of different types of dementias - Alzheimer's is just one.)
I try to be very reassuring when I'm with someone with dementia. I don't argue the point at all but try to reassure through being confident that everything is OK, and change the subject a little, if possible. For example, saying something like 'Let's go inside and sit down for our cup of coffee. It would be much more comfortable and we could look at the new magazine in private.' If the person argued that we'd be listened to, I'd say something like 'I think that the kitchen is quite secure. I've never had any difficulty there.' So I'm not arguing but I'm stating that I feel confident that we'll be OK.
But I know that if someone is ****-bent on a certain path, with a certain worry, then it is very difficult to get them off the subject.
Neurodoc is our in-house specialist, of course.
Last edited by silverbirch; 07-10-2015 at 06:10 PM.
Allison, I would suspect the meds first. I'm surprised he doesn't have a primary physician he could see. If all else fails, she should take him to the ER and see what they can do.
The reason I mention meds is that my partner was a clinical psychologist in a state mental hospital, and she tells me that whenever they got an elderly patient who was out of touch with reality, the first thing they did was, under doctor supervision, get them off all meds except those that would be life-threatening to stop. Often the person came out of it rather quickly.
If he is that delusional, he should probably be in the hospital.
Hugs, Allison. Such a difficult situation. I would also suspect meds as a possibility. My MIL had a reaction to antibiotics and it showed as severe dementia.
I'm also trying to wrap my head around a difficult relative situation. I mentioned that I thought we might go see my elderly uncle in Rhode Island. He is my only real relative. His physical and mental situation are poor. Dh spoke to my aunt and she is freaking out at the thought of us visiting because he is having such a bad time mentally and she is with him all day while he's in a nursing home. We told her we just want to support her at this point as she has no one. My uncles kids hate her as she is his second wife. They are self centered horrible people who hate me for having a close relationship with her. Messy situation. My girls wanted to visit too but I don't think that will work. I think it would be awful for them to see him in his current state, and we are hoping just to talk my aunt into us visiting. Sigh....
Allison, my entire career is focused on care and study of individuals with dementia. Your BIL is having paranoid delusions, and possibly visual hallucinations (though that is unclear from your description). This is a frequent occurrence among dementia patients and only rarely occur as a side effect of medicines (though they can). Parkinson's medicine side effects are more commonly sedation, confusion and innocuous (nonthreatening; nonscary) visual hallucinations. If his illness has reached the stage where he is having delusions, he is likely to be at least moderately demented, and he will likely need to be treated with an antipsychotic. If the antipsychotic is ineffective (and they often are for delusions), your sister may need to find a residential facility where he can be supervised during all of his waking hours.
The first step is for her to have a phone call with the neurologist or his nurse ASAP. If this neurologist's office does not offer either over-the-phone triage and prescriptions or urgent same-week work-in appts, then she should absolutely go somewhere else for care.
I'll talk to my sister this weekend and see if she found any help.
In the mean time, she did say that there are time when he is perfectly fine. They went out to dinner the other night and was his old self. On the way home they stopped to do grocery shopping, still just fine. Within half an hour of being home, he started with the delusions again.
My grandmother had Alzheimer's. I remember it well. My brother-in-law's parents both had (have it). He was their caretaker. His mom died a few years back, but his dad is still alive. It's been really hard for him to see what happened to his dad, and now this. Currently his dad is living with another son, that son's wife and his wife's mother who also has Alzheimer's. My sister says that every morning, everyone has to re-introduce themselves at the breakfast table. Very sad. But I think what is worse is that my brother-in-law seems to have gotten this earlier than either parent (he's mid 70's, they got it mid 80's or later--his dad is 94). It also seems to have developed a lot faster than his parents' did.
Oh, and I forgot to add: my sister says that watching TV seems to exacerbate things. He'll remember content of a movie or show and somehow incorporate those things into his delusions.
