saef and fitmom, I totally understand how stressed you are. I am totally stressed out and I am moving from a relatively clean apartment to a newly renovated apartment. I am embarressed to be so stressed when you two and many others have so much more to deal with. Praying that all will go well for both of you.
Thinking of saef, fitmom, Dagmar, and Jay! It seems like it was a difficult weekend for many.
I also went to see Casablanca on Friday night and LOVED it. Shannon, I wondered if you were there, but of course had no way of knowing. The movie was much funnier than I expected, and oh my word was Ingrid Bergman gorgeous! I'm ashamed at my lack of knowledge of classic/older movies (growing up, my dad subjected up to Westerns and war films, but not much else in B&W) so this was my first Humphrey Bogart movie, too. He was quite a charmer, huh? Maybe I need to see if Netflix has The Maltese Falcon available for streaming.
Here's my medical report from Friday's visit to the endo: I do, indeed, have osteoporosis. My bone density average is actually on the border between osteopenia and osteoporosis, but the doc says that the bone loss in my spine is significant enough to just go ahead and say it's osteoporosis.
This was another emotional blow. Everything that's happened to me this year, health-wise, is related (renal tubular acidosis leading to kidney stones and osteoporosis) and it's all somewhat minor, but it adds up to me feeling somewhat depressed, and wondering what else is going to happen to me. I mean, I'm only 33! In my more overwhelmed moments, I have trouble imagining what I'll look like when I'm 50.
The logical, rational, optimistic part of me knows that this is serious but not life-threatening, and there are many silver linings to the clouds (starting medical insurance in January, before all this started, tops that list). But I'm not being logical right now. I'm actively choosing to wallow.
Whew, I do feel a little better now that I've vented a bit. Thanks for listening, all. And I hope everyone has a much better week than the last!
Shannon - a list of fruits from the internet said I could eat sweet apples like Macintoshes, but not sour ones like Granny Smith's. When I went to the store, there weren't any Macs so I bought two that were Mac look a likes. But when I bit into one I found it tart. I still ate it to see what would happen and yes it gave me acid reflux. There's so much on my do not eat list. And I'm worried that continued reflux with harm my esophagus as well as my vocal chords permanently. So I'm really monitoring what I eat.
Some one told me that acid reflux is stress related and I've had a lot of stress since turning 50 this year. I had very early bladder cancer that was only caught because I was having trouble with my fibroid tumors. It took 4 months to get the diagnosis and then 2 months to 'cure' it. I go back in December to see if I'm still cancer free.
I won the Labor Day race series, but came in 2nd for the season by only 2 points. If I had won one more race, I would have won it all. So there's next year to shoot for. My racing skills really improved this year. and I'm excited about next year. There's still a lot of sailing for me all the way through to end of October. Wore my wet suit yesterday that usually makes everyone look fat because they are so tight. But people complemented me on how thin I looked.
It's taken all summer, but people are finally noticing I lost 36 pounds now that I've switch to my smaller clothes that are really shapely. I still have a little belly because my 3 fibroid tumors are so big that my gyno says they're the size of a 20 week pregnancy. Mostly they're pushing inward on my organs. So I'm going to have to do something about them after I'm finally on DH's insurance and not just Medicare. That will be in December.
Thinking good thoughts to all those suffering from loss, relationship issues and health related issues.
DH and I went to see Seven Days in Utopia this afternoon. While I had an inkling that it would be somewhat God-based, it wasn't preachy at all and was an enjoyable movie--whether or not you like golf. I'm hoping DH came away with some thoughts on life from the movie.
Then when we left the movie we had to walk up the stairs to the second level of the parking structure. Mind you, this is a fairly busy area. Right outside JC Penney, near one end of the mall, just outside the theater where there is little parking to begin with, so naturally people gravitate to the parking structure. And it's Labor Day weekend, so the stores at the mall are having huge sales (I know, I shopped!). So why on earth do the hoodlum kids think that the open stairwell is a "safe" place to hunker down and smoke weed? Seriously? This is the second time in two years that we've run across a group of them doing just that. First time we were on our way down. Six of us (including my kids) and about eight of them. They moved aside for us, but still. Stupid kids. This time, it was just me and DH and four of them. I probably wouldn't have gone up had I been alone, but with DH I wasn't afraid. Again they moved aside, but there was a single older woman trying to go down and obviously she needed to use the handrail, which was impossible due to two sitting on one side and two on the other. Once we passed, DH turned around and told the hoodlums to move aside and let the woman down easily. In their defense, they did, but I just don't get why they think this is such an "inconspicuous" place to do this. It's not. Especially on the weekends when people are going to the movies.
So it's 6 days and counting to our vacation. We purchased rain ponchos on Saturday as I understand we'll get 6 hours of rain each day and another few hours at night. I have bug spray with differing amounts of DEET. I have sunscreen--including that which can be sprayed on wet skin and still work. I have several swim suits with board shorts. DS is still working on securing a temporary parking pass at school, otherwise he'll drive to our office, park, walk a mile to school, and return after school. If he gets the temporary pass, he'll have a much easier time. Usually the school allows juniors and seniors parking passes, but due to construction, only seniors are eligible this year and last. Based on what he told me, it should be no problem for him to get a pass to park there for just a week.
DH and I did a lot of walking and talking the last two days. We CAN still communicate but we need to remind ourselves to respect each other when doing so. Usually we are too busy trying to outtalk each other and not listening very well.
We made some joint decisions and agreed to compromise on some other issues. Unfortunately we have gone over much of this ground before and DH tends to forget his part of things. I can now remind him without him then getting mad.
I have decided to go see a therapist again. My resolve is getting shaky (drinking alcohol told me that) and I need an objective person to talk with. I also need to deal with my growing loneliness and disconnect from other people face-to-face (I have two wonderful online communities).
I have been thinking about this for a couple of years (yeah, there's a reason I'm sooo slooow to get things done - like getting to goal weight ) but haven't been able to find the person I liked to see. I finally remembered the name of someone else I used to do group stuff with. I hope she's still around.
It's difficult getting anything done when you don't have a desk, computer, and telephone during the day.
I will figure it out.
Good Tuesday all!
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying "I will try again tomorrow" - Mary Ann Radmacher
Oh, another Monday. Oh wait, another Tuesday. I have a feeling it will be one of those weeks when I don't know what day it is. I think our rain from TS Lee is gone. A front followed it through and it's actually only 69 degrees outside right now. After this summer it feels like an arctic blast, lol. I'm ready for fall! I took Emma to the beach in the wind yesterday. She was tired out and let me get some computer work done the rest of the afternoon/evening while it rained outside. I'm doing some volunteer layouts for my theatre group. In other news I discovered my AC unit in the hall closet/recirculation room was leaking water around noon. BF said the drain was plugged up and cleaned it out with a shop vac (how does one learn this stuff? I had no idea - just saw water = bad). Now we're trying to dry out the carpet, which we could just pull out bc it's one small piece in the closet, and the wooden boards underneath that got pretty wet before I discovered the leak. Despite the leak I actually felt like I had a relaxing and somewhat productive long weekend.
Dagmar, glad you and DH were able to communicate about things. I hope this other therapist you remembered is still practicing. It sounds like a good idea for you to have someone there in person to air your stresses to. It is hard to get stuff done with no phone, internet etc. but not impossible! I often find myself in that situation, too with my field work.
Allison, maybe these kids think mall security is less to be frightened of than the police? Sounds like you're almost ready for vacation. Are you excited?
Carolyn, congrats on your Labor day win and second for the season! Sounds like fun!
Jen, sorry to hear about the ongoing medical issues. But don't get too upset or worried about the future - you really don't know what will happen. Just take life one condition and one treatment at a time. And keep enjoying the rest of life. Casablanca sounds fun! Now I need to see it...
Saef and Fitmom, I hope you're hanging in there.
On maintenance since March 1, 2005
LOL Megan, I don't know what day it is either. Glad you got the leak fixed.
Talk about an arctic blast -- Saturday we had a high of 96, then yesterday a high of 66. This morning I went out for a bike ride and it was in the upper 40's. I'm pulling out my fall wardrobe.
Allison, I would call the cops on those kids to get them to move. Is there an anonymous tip line you could call? When I used to live in Providence one time I went to wait for the bus and there was a guy smoking weed at the bus stop.
Dagmar, it sounds like seeing the therapist is a good idea. Let us know how it goes.
Carolyn, congrats on the races!
Bargoo, hope your move goes okay.
Jen, is there anything they can do about the osteoporosis?
Jay, Saef, Fitmom, how are you doing?
I had a good if expensive weekend. I had a coupon for White House Black Market for $10 off. Well, you guys probably remember that I said before I can't go into that store without spending $300. It's still true. Although to be fair after all the coupons and discounts my total came in closer to $200 but still. I got a nice pair of jeans (bought the size 4 although now I'm thinking maybe I should have tried a 2 -- talk about size inflation), a nice top, and a gorgeous dress which I am going to go post on the shopping thread. DH and I are going out for my birthday next weekend and I am going to wear it. At least, hopefully -- we're going to a performance put on by the city ballet of a bunch of nationally known dancers doing both ballet & modern, but I don't know what appropriate attire is.
In any case I also bought a pair of running shoes to wear while powerwalking, a reflective thingy to wear while biking, and another sweat wicking shirt for workouts. Got a lot of housekeeping done too.
Jessica~I doubt calling the police would have done any good. By the time we'd gotten to our car, they were walking toward theirs. Even mall security isn't an issue as they rarely venture outside. At least they weren't belligerent or threatening in any way.
Megan~yes, I am getting excited!
Last night we had a tremendous storm! Lightening knocked out power to the area around our office and we're not sure yet if it has been restored. DH is on his way in now and will let me know. DS and I sat out on our back patio for a while and watched and listened--it was quite spectacular. And exactly what I wished for! It was cloudy all day, our temperatures didn't even reach 100 let alone the 107 predicted. It rained a bit in the morning and a bit here and there during the day and I kept saying what we needed was a huge rain with thunder and lightening and I got it! It also knocked out the power to our front lights, but that may have been due to the rain. DH will have to fix that tonight.
I'm writing from the old mahogany desk in my mother's room, a desk that once belonged to my father's mother. I'll be living with my mother in Upstate New York while my apartment is demolished and renovated. (Which process has been further delayed, as the MetLife insurance adjuster had to fly back to Texas due to a family matter before he could get to his appointment to view my place, and he is going to be replaced by another, who's supposed to contact me in the next few days.)
Maybe I should be posting on the Twentysomethings thread, as some of my issues resemble theirs when they move back home during their summer breaks from college or after graduation, and have to readjust to parental controls after experiencing the freedom of running their own lives. I'm already hearing that mother doesn't like her refrigerator really full (as mine often is when, for example, I've bought a bunch of kale and lots of broccoli and other vegetables that take up space). And she eats completely differently from me, and her cupboards are full, so it's going to be hard to make space for my "weird special" foods (quinoa, whole wheat couscous, rolled oats, shelf-stabilized almond milk, almond butter & natural peanut butter, beans, lentils, etc.) and also she has nearly no spices and my spices took up four shelves in my cupboard, and I need to go out make an investment in spices.
After the operatic horror and devastation, and the physical effort of the messy salvage job, I'm left with this: Trying to deal with living with mom, and figuring out how to do my job from her house, and interacting with insurance adjusters and FEMA.
Lesson for today: All personal tragedy ends in bureaucracy, bills and family squabbles.
Jen, don't let the big word "osteoporosis" scare you. It is not a death sentence. I "have" it in my lumbar vertebrae, but the thing is, it's a definitional disease, which means, one day the docs sat down and drew a line on a chart and said, anything on this side is osteoporosis, and anything on the other side is not. Then some other docs said, what about people on the borderline? And they said, well, we'll call that something else. How about osteopenia? Great! They all agreed.
That doesn't mean that it's a trivial condition by any means. In my case, I have a feeling that if they had tested me as a teenager, I would have shown the same thing in my lumbar vertebrae. But the test didn't exist then.
(The reason I think that is because I had borderline rickets as a child. Don't know what my parents were thinking.)
So, one thing a person can do is make sure they are getting enough vitamin D. Most Americans do not get enough because so many now wear sunblock. Also, get enough calcium. I like to have magnesium along with it. Weight-bearing exercise is good, but it has to have a little impact to it as well. That doesn't mean take up running tomorrow, but something like a mini-trampoline or skipping rope on a cushioned surface or moderate jogging in place on a cushioned surface might be a good idea. Check with your doc!
I refuse to take bisphosphonates (e.g. Fosamax). Check out the adverse reactions on a reputable website to learn more.
Our power was out this morning, but the power company got it fixed promptly. One thing about Florida--the power companies are geared up to fix problems ASAP.
__________________ "My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama
Jen - I looked for you at the movie Friday night, but we got there without much time to spare after working our way around the closed roads. We were the first people to sit up in the balcony once they opened it. I'm glad you enjoyed it! Ingrid Bergman is gorgeous, isn't she? And I'm sorry about the medical issues - is there anything they can to do slow the osteoporosis catching it so early?
Allison - I used to work at out restaurant located in a mall and we had groups of kids like that around, too. Mall security was less intimidating than the police.
Jessica - I love WHBM!
Megan - glad it was an easy fix on the AC!
Dagmar - glad that you and DH were able to talk this weekend. Seeing a therapist might not be a bad idea for you, good luck.
Saef - I hope that you and your mom can come to a peaceful coexistence during this. I know its hard to have to move back home, no matter what the circumstances.
Jay - glad that they got your power back on quickly.
I had a pretty good weekend, but didn't sleep well, so I'm tired today.
Hi to everyone after the long weekend.
I'm at work and no time to really catch up, so a big general wave!
So jealous of you Allison. Costa Rica is one of those places on my bucket list. My dd went there in high school as a Spanish trip and loved it.
to you Saef. Good luck living with mom. Dh and I had to do it for a month after our house had pipes burst (all of our ceilings in the house fell down causing mass damage). I didn't get along with her at the time and it was very difficult.
Jen-- I think I mentioned that I also have osteopenia. I do take fosamax and have not had any adverse affects. My doctor says that she keeps you on it for a certain number of years and then takes you off for a year or two. The people that have had problems with it (breaks, fractures), have been on it for too many years without taking a break.
2015 workout goals:
175 Bikram yoga classes
175 other workouts
for a total of 350 workouts
saef, we were posting at the same time! I'm glad you have found a place to land, even if it's inconvenient.
I've been trying to think of some Buddhist philosophy that might help you, while knowing that you will have to go through grieving the loss. I came across this explanation from a Buddhist master named Ajahn Chah. He was talking about a beautiful crystal glass and how he views it as a Buddhist:
"I love this glass. It holds water admirably. When the sun shines on it, it reflects the light beautifully. When I tap it, it has a lovely ring. Yet for me, this glass is already broken. When the wind knocks it over or my elbow knocks it off the shelf and it falls to the ground and shatters, I say, 'Of course.' But when I understand that this glass is already broken, every minute with it is precious."
Goes beyond half-full or half-empty, doesn't it?
The idea is that the ordinary things of this world do not have an inherent, permanent reality--they are always going to change. This is simple observation. Knowing this, one may realize that since all the objects around us are impermanent, they are all the more precious while they are here. But one must also not become attached to them and try to cling to them, because they will indeed change. And so will we.
__________________ "My religion is kindness." --His Holiness the Dalai Lama