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The Rules Of West Virginia

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Old 11-16-2007, 06:46 PM   #1
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Default The Rules Of West Virginia

THE RULES OF WEST VIRGINIA ARE AS FOLLOWS :

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "dirt road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? Rt. 50 goes east and west, I-79 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in West Virginia waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat catfish & crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.

9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks in the big city call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive like you got some sense in it, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

Last edited by jules1216 : 11-16-2007 at 06:47 PM.
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Old 11-16-2007, 06:53 PM   #2
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Lol!
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Old 11-16-2007, 09:25 PM   #3
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Now ain't these true. My dad once waved at some guy walking on the side of Rt. 60, when I was a kid. I asked "Who was that?" He said "I dunno." LOL

Luckily the restaurants have gotten better, with healthier choices, but yup. If you order a chef salad around here, what you get is a pound of ham, a pound of chees, a couple boiled eggs, and somewhere underneath it all is some wilted lettuce.

LOL at #20. When I lived up in NH, people there thought I wouldn't know what a real snow storm was like. I kept telling hubby that NH ain't much different than WV, other than people's attitudes. They have similar scenery, and similar snow.

And yes, they take deer hunting seriously around here. Once had a deer ran smack into the side of my parents van. Caused like $2K damage, bent the side door all to heck. The guy behind em in the pickup then ran over the carcass. He ran over to a payphone and called the state to see if it was ok to take the deer and they said fine. So he threw it in his truck and took it home for dinner. LOL
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:15 PM   #4
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These are too funny, I was nodding my head as I was reading them. Especially the last one! I went down to my dbf's house in VA and they had about an inch of snow and school was cancelled no one was leaving their homes it was nuts. He said the most snow he's ever seen there was 4 inches, I said the most snow i've seen here is nearly 4 feet
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:17 PM   #5
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This is a pretty good list for us too!

You know you're from West Virginia when...
Type: Geography - States
Description: *You know cops that have done more illegal things than you (while on the job).
*It drives you crazy when people think you're from Virginia.
*Other than the expense of gas, driving country roads is one of your favorite pasttimes.
*Which may be because there's never cops or traffic.
*You know where the best fishing spots are.
*Everyone in your town goes to High School Football games on Friday nights.
*Rain=Mudding in a 4wheeler/4wheel drive later.
*You or someone you know has won a pagent.
*You always see someone you know when you go to Walmart (or anywhere else).
*You've seen Mothman Prophecies, We Are...MARSHALL, October Sky, Silent Hill, or Wrong Turn because it was based/filmed in West Virginia.
*You know momma's home-cooking is the best there is
*You see country singers live at your county fair before they go big.
*You're happy to live South of the Mason-Dixen line.
*You know what the Hatfields and McCoys are really about.
*You know what Morgantown is really about.
*Your county fair is one of the highlights of the year.
*Girls-you know how to bait a hook & take a fish off it.
*You've been turkey/squirrel/deer hunting at least once.
*You know at least 5 different spots in the country to have a party.
*You either live in a town or the country.
*When you ask people where they're from, they name the county (as if you can remember all 55 anyway).
*You can't understand why people want to come to WV.
*Your state only has one area code - 304.
*At least 75% of your graduating class went to Marshall or WVU.
*You usually have to drive at least 2 hours to go to a good concert.
*Malls are usually an hour away.
*The only jobs for high-school students are fast food places or grocery stores.
*Although your prayers are with the Hokies, you will never like Michael Vick because he played football for Virginia Tech.
*Burning couches isn't uncommon after football games.
*You know fans are ridiculously violent at WVU/Marshall Football games.
*People live out of state never understand where you live unless it's Charleston, Huntington, or Morgantown.
*You eat sauce on your hot dog, but know chili is something completely different.
*& Yes, you would like a pop with it
*The usual summer night is sitting in a parking lot on the back of truck beds.
*You've been to the drive-in.
*No matter what college/university you go, you're either a WVU or Marshall fan.
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:31 PM   #6
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Rhighlan, I lived in NH for awhile, then moved down to VA then back to WV. When I left WV in 97, we'd had a huge blizzard the previous year. Looked like 4 FEET of snow by the way there was only 2" of the top of my fence showing. LOL And they have that kind of snow, just more often, in NH. They were taking it in dump trucks and dumping it into the river up in Concord back in '03. So when VA gets a bit of slush one day in December '04, I put on my boots and trudged through about 2" of slushing muck, got in the car and headed down the street. Got to the key kiosk...closed due to weather. Got to Sally's Beauty Supply...closed due to weather. Tanning salon...closed due to weather. I went home. I figured my last stop, Wal*Mart, would also be closed due to weather. Sheesh!

*It drives you crazy when people think you're from Virginia.

I used to get calls at my job in Charleston from people trying to find out where we were located. Wanted to know if we were anywhere near Roanoke. Ummm, no. That's in another state! The amazing thing is the number of them that didn't realize there WAS a WEST Virginia. They thought I was just talking about the west part of Virginia and had never heard of WEST Virginia as a state before. Argggggh. And these people graduated???? WV has some of the poorest schools in the states, and yet I don't go confusing North and South Dakota as being two parts of the same state.

*You've seen Mothman Prophecies, We Are...MARSHALL, October Sky, Silent Hill, or Wrong Turn because it was based/filmed in West Virginia.

I'd like to see We Are...Marshall, but the only two I've seen are Mothman and Wrong Turn. Problem with Wrong Turn is that they got the wrong state. It's those yokels over in KY who are into inbreeding. Not us.

*You know what the Hatfields and McCoys are really about.

Better still. Your grandma has pictures of Mrs. McCoy in her kitchen fixing some holiday dinner together. LOL Yup...my grandma had those pics!

*Your state only has one area code - 304.

That's actually pretty cool. And so does NH - 603. Makes life easier. Unlike when I call my brother over in OH. Gotta remember his cellphone area code from his home area code.

*& Yes, you would like a pop with it

LOL! The first time we went to an Outback up in MA (weren't any in NH), I ordered pop. The waitress stared at me like I'd grown a second head. I said it again. Then I said "Pepsi or Coke". She says "Ohhhhhhh a SODA!" Told me she thought I was asking her to hit me and it had her confused.

*You've been to the drive-in.

I was sad to see that when I returned to the state, they've turned the old Rt. 35 drive-in into an 84 Lumber.
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Old 11-19-2007, 04:59 PM   #7
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I worked in a small town in Missouri where the first day of deer hunting season was actually a holiday. I naively asked "Why do we have this day off? It's not a holiday is it?"

"Dang girl! where you from? You know it's the first day of hunting season!" I then had to listen to the guys talk about their favorite blinds, which guns where the best, who had the best ammo, who shot the biggest one last year but nobody talked about where they hunted. That's always a secret.

Oh, and speaking of ammo-we had a small convienence store called "Guns, Ammo & Liquor" You could pick up your hunting liscenses, bait and a wide selection of alcoholic beverages all in one store. It was in the same shopping center as the strip club. One stop shopping!

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Old 11-19-2007, 07:47 PM   #8
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Today was WV's first day of hunting season. Meaning that not only did half of the guy's not show up at hubby's office today, but half the guys in Ohio didn't show up for work either...since their deer season doesn't start for another week. LOL
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Old 12-19-2007, 12:09 PM   #9
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Lol, these could describe Oklahoma as well. Deer season is serious business here too. School is out the first week of rifle season. They call it Fall Break, but really school is closed cause none of the boys would show up anyway.
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Old 01-10-2008, 03:25 PM   #10
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haha these were cute.. I nodded my head to most of them as I read them. Glad to see some other WV girls on here.
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