[AshleyChantel]

Hello everybody! My name is Ash, I'm 20 years old and I have a little bit of a problem (as I'm sure all of us do )

My entire life, I've struggled with depression, anxiety, self-worth, and overeating. When I was about 13, my mom insist that I start Weight Watchers with her. I was successful in losing weight, but I became so meticulous that I ended up with bulimia. I cut that habit shortly after graduating high school, but the overeating is still a problem. Since I graduated in 2012, I've gained 100 pounds.

Even though I have gained so much weight, I feel that my self-image is at its highest it has ever been. I have embraced my body and love it dearly, even at its biggest. I look and feel beautiful. I absolutely adore plus size fashion and plus size models, and if I was more conventionally attractive, I wouldn't mind trying my hand at it, either

I guess the reason I'm here is because I know that my overeating is an addiction. I come from a family of addictive personalities, and while this is an addiction I prefer to have over other things, I realize it's something I need to break. I also have bad knees and an injured back, and I know my weight isn't helping. I've tried everything to break my overeating addiction but I always end up crashing and failing. I feel that what I'm missing is a support group.

I didn't mean for this to get long and lengthy, but I wanted to get all of that off my chest. I look forward to starting this journey with all of you.

[asb88]

Hi Ash, my name is also Ash and I can really relate to a lot of the issues that you mentioned in your post. I also struggled with being a larger girl in my teens but managed to maintain a weight I was happy with until recently. I have now finished university and started working fulltime which means that I don't have the time I used to to prepare healthy food and exercise regularly. In addition, I don't deal well with stress and turn to comfort foods to make myself feel better. I make promises to myself that I will eat healthily and prioritise exercise but I'm finding it very hard to establish this routine in my busy schedule. I'm here to support others and help myself be accountable for my actions and sticking to my goals. Feel free to chat to me or get in touch

Ash

[AshleyChantel]

Hi Ash, what a nice name you have! :P

Yeah, I am definitely in a similar situation as you. At most, I can commit to myself for a few days, and then I get worked up in some way shape or form and cave. Sometimes, there's not even anything wrong, I just can't not give into the pressure, you know? I've been telling myself since 2012 that I would start anew, and every single time I failed.

At the same time, much like you, I have a hard time eating healthy. I am a full-time college student and a part-time worker. I live with my dad, and he's been struggling financially lately. He won't let me help pay the bills, even though I live in his house, and since his paychecks are small, he doesn't get much for groceries. My paychecks aren't great either, but I try to buy myself food as much as possible so we can make sure his groceries last two weeks. So between that and always being on the go, it's so hard to get a good meal in.

However, I did recently get a membership to a gym! I'm going to try to recruit one of my friends in real life to go out with me every few days

[asb88]

I do agree that it's a lovely name

Can TOTALLY relate about the committing for a few days then caving. I feel so proud of myself and then feel rubbish even when I have one small bad thing. To compensate for that I have LOTS of bad things (nothing to mean a binge eating disorder or anything, just bad binges but since usually I would be pretty controlled I feel quite bad for them). Then I think I'm never going to have that again and will finish the whole pack of biscuits to make sure I don't have any for tomorrow (feeling worse for doing so). Its a bad cycle

Wow, it sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Studying fulltime and working at the same time is really difficult. But it's great that you have a gym membership, a really positive step! I think trying to get a workout buddy is a good plan, it's always so much easier to stay motivated. That's what I'm hoping to find on this site really, I just moved to a new area and work really odd hours so working out with friends isn't an option. I have a gym in my apartment complex but it's small and running on the treadmill with no TV or trashy reality TV to take my mind off things is torture. I used to run around a soccer field when I lived with my mum and that was when I saw the most results (intervals plus healthy home cooked meals every night and my mum didn't keep junk food in the house). Now living in a sharehouse my housemates have chips, chocolate, you name it. So tough to stay away! Keep us posted on how your gym progress goes!