I'll start by saying, I am not a forum poster. I've read forums sure but never posted to them so I'm a little out of my element. I'm starting a weight loss journey and so far so good so I thought I would reach out a little bit and try to make some connections, try to hold myself a little more accountable. I'm not entirely comfortable talking about this with a lot of the people in my real life because if I fail, I will be mocked. Since I have no idea what I'm doing really, I thought I might as well just give my story and go from there. So if you don't want to know my story as it might be a bit tedious, don't keep reading. But I am open so don't mind sharing.
My weight didn't really used to be a struggle for me, growing up my mother was and still is overweight. I was raised with the mindset to not care what other people thought of me, and pant size isn't something to even think about. I was an odd kid, mental health issues out of the gate, so I wasn't popular anyways and my weight was the least of the stones my peers would throw at me. I didn't really care. When I got a bit older I somehow managed to stay relatively ok despite horrid eating habits and minimal exercise...kids playing in the playground kind of stuff.
I stayed around 120 pounds in high school. In grade 10, I ended up in the psych ward of the hospital after a mental breakdown and was put on some medications that started my problems. These meds increased my appetite, decreased my metabolism. As it was a bit of a tranquilizer (I'm not overreacting that word was in the info sheets and everything) I also lost my ability to participate in any recreational activities. Within 2 months I ballooned to 180 pounds. The meds have since been discontinued thanks to a class action lawsuit. But I haven't been the same since. I've never been able to get back to any sort of physical activity and the few times I've tried I ended up in so much pain I wouldn't be able to do much outside of getting out of bed for a few weeks, effectively cancelling any benefits. With my mental health issues I am a bit of an emotional eater. I went on a bit of a rollercoaster, at one point managed to get my weight down to 150 pounds but more for being poor than actually trying. My body adjusted to eating once, maybe twice a day, but not really good food, so I didn't really lose anything, but I didn't really gain anything either and stayed around 170-180 pounds for a few years.
Three years ago, I got into a serious relationship, we moved in together and have since gotten engaged. When we first moved in he was appalled at the lack of frequency that I'd eat and we would get in very heated fights over it, and he was very pushy to get me to eat more. His previous partner had starved herself while pregnant and nearly killed both herself and their baby for fear of being fat, so he had a major and understandable aversion to my eating habits. So I agreed. The problem was neither of us really cook. So it turned into three fast food meals a day, and he constantly snacked and pushed for me to snack too. So with my low metabolism from eating infrequently for years, I quickly gained a lot of weight until I reached 220 pounds. At this point, I stopped eating lunch again. I'd still eat fast food in the evenings for dinner, but managed to slow my gain, until I plateaued at 230 and have stayed there for about a year and a half now.
Since high school I've often thought about dieting, not really for appearance but for health sake. Thought it wouldn't hurt to look a bit more socially acceptable too, the fear of trying to get back in shape because of the ridicule of my current shape keeps me from trying to get into any sort of fitness program. BUT I knew that for me it would have to be a lifestyle change. I knew that if I lost a lot of weight then went back to eating what I was eating as often as I was eating it I would just gain it all back and possibly then some. So I've never really tried in the past, I knew I had to mentally be prepared for a very serious and long term change to be successful.
Nothing's really happened, no major event or anything. But I do feel mentally prepared now. All these months with nothing but fast food has made me miss vegetables. One of my friends with similar chemistry, and difficulties as me went through and was successful with the Ideal Protein protocol, and has since become a coach. So I've decided to give that a shot. I've been on it a week and lost 10 pounds already, and good gracious do veggies ever taste good! (I know that opinion may change in time haha).
I'm wary of the times that I hit depression that I might go back to comfort eating and don't want to waste the time, effort, and money I'm putting into it. So in addition to my coach, I'm looking for outside support that might help me mentally keep myself accountable and in check even when mental health becomes a challenge, so I thought I'd try to start building support and relationships here while things are good so that I can keep myself encouraged when it gets rough if that makes any sense.
So I hope I'm not too out of line, hope I haven't been too long winded. If I'm out of line I'm happy to be told that because as I said I'm relatively new to forum posting, as well as dieting. I'm looking forward to building some positive encouraging relationships, and hopefully I can be positive and encouraging to others as well.
Allow me to introduce myself
