[evanmete]

I've never been on a forum or site like this but I've been looking for a support system outside of my family and friends. I've been overweight since I was a child I've lost and gained back weight until I've gotten to this point of being in my last year of college and weighing more than 315lbs ( I'm too afraid to weigh myself at this point).

My weight has always effected me and it doest help that I suffer from depression and now anxiety as well. I've finally started seeing a therapist to deal with those issues.

When I was younger I never let my weight hold me back. I played sports being the captain of a varsity team and performing in plays and concerts but now ive started letting my weight limit me from trying all the things i want too. Recently on a roadtrip with my bestfriend we passed a zipline that I really wanted to try but the first thing I did was look up the weight restrictions to save myself the embarassment of being told I couldn't do it by the instructor. I was heartbroken.

I don't want to start school in the fall again being this heavy and even though my family, friends and sorority sisters love me all I feel is self concious around them. I'm at the point where I don't want to disappoint them by saying I'm losing weight and then gaining it all back again because I feel like I can see it on their faces.

So to end this long summary. Hi I'm Emily. I'm at the point of hopelessness and I need help.

[kaybee1]

Hi Emily, first of all, welcome! I'm a Greek as well, although I think the way our Canadian chapters run are a little different from what you're used to. But I DO know what it feels like to be "the fat one" at a fraternity party. It's tons of fun. I guess the same can be said when you're out with any bunch of friends who happen to be skinny and little and pretty and you're not lol.

When you decide to start losing weight, you need to realize you'll be in it for the long haul. While having the start of the school year in mind is a great first landmark for a goal, don't get discouraged if it's not a huge amount lost. Instead be proud of yourself for starting this whole thing and for making the changes necessary to get to where you want to be down the road.

Do you know what your first steps are going to be/what you're going to do to get to that goal of having lost some weight prior to the start of school? It's good to make a plan and stick to it- finding ways to keep yourself accountable by writing down or posting on the boards is a great way to do that.

You mention that you don't want to disappoint the others, how about just not telling them? You don't have to announce to the world that you're trying to lose weight if you don't want to. And you're not alone when it comes to worrying about regaining - it happens to all of us. I had lost 30lbs at one point and gained it all back and then some. So what did I do? Started all over again ... lol The difference is that now I feel that I have more of the tools I need and the mindset I need to be successful.

Anyway, this post is getting long, good luck to you!