I was an athlete in my teens and twenties, but after my second pregnancy, I had Toxemia) my health took a down fall. I gained 100 lbs. during my pregnancy and I was hardly eating, it has yet to come off. I never diet, I watch what I eat, but if you look at me, you would think I eat whatever I want, I wish that were true, but even though I am big, I still Do not eat that much, actually, I eat less now then When I was thin. I am tired all the time, and have been put on anti-depressants, they seem to help, but my body is so tired, I made a new year’s resolution, that I make every year, but for some reason, this year I think will be better. I am determined to lose my weight, and find out what my real health issues are and not just a pat on the head and a prescription for depressants, when there is something wrong in your body, your body tells you but the doctors seem to belittle my questions and concerns, not just the fact that I am very familiar with medical terminology and various typed of diseases that could be the culprit. I can't believe I let myself get this big, I am an athlete, and athletes don't get fat. I hate my picture being taken, and when my daughter was alive I have very few with just me and her. I regret not having more, but I hate what I look like, and it hinders every part of my life, If only I were think I could do this or that, this weight has made me cease in following my passions and wants. All it takes is one glimpse of me in the mirror or other and I am devastated. My husband loves me, but I do not love myself. Yeah I think I am pretty for a fatty, but I do not enjoy life. I always think, if I just were skinny...
Last edited by firstfatnowthin; 01-29-2014 at 11:44 AM.
Location: Carlsbad (North San Diego County, California)
Posts: 104
S/C/G: 213/157/153
Height: 5 ft. four inches
Hello! Have you ever tried a low carb approach? I had no success in keeping weight off until I cut out the processed sugars, flours, and most carbs. They cause terrible cravings. Eating protein and veggies, with limited amounts of ww bread and fruit is what my plan allows.
Good luck in your journey, and my deepest condolences on the loss of your daughter.
I was an athlete in my teens and twenties, but after my second pregnancy, I had Toxemia) my health took a down fall. I gained 100 lbs. during my pregnancy and I was hardly eating, it has yet to come off. I never diet, I watch what I eat, but if you look at me, you would think I eat whatever I want, I wish that were true, but even though I am big, I still Do not eat that much, actually, I eat less now then When I was thin. I am tired all the time, and have been put on anti-depressants, they seem to help, but my body is so tired, I made a new year’s resolution, that I make every year, but for some reason, this year I think will be better. I am determined to lose my weight, and find out what my real health issues are and not just a pat on the head and a prescription for depressants, when there is something wrong in your body, your body tells you but the doctors seem to belittle my questions and concerns, not just the fact that I am very familiar with medical terminology and various typed of diseases that could be the culprit. I can't believe I let myself get this big, I am an athlete, and athletes don't get fat. I hate my picture being taken, and when my daughter was alive I have very few with just me and her. I regret not having more, but I hate what I look like, and it hinders every part offer my life, If only I were think I could do this or that, this weight has made me cease in following my passions and wants. All it takes is one glimpse of me in the mirror or other and I am devastated. My husband loves me, but I do not love myself. Yeah I think I am pretty for a fatty, but I do not enjoy life. I always think, if I just were skinny...
First all welcome. You wont be judged here and everyone is so supportive. Like yourself, I didn't gain weight until I was pregnant, and it was a ton the first time. About 80lbs. I had a horrible time was in and out of the hospital. I did well losing the first 20-30 lbs after my 10lb baby was born but no more after. I watched what I ate and walked with my daughter, but it didn't come off. Then became pregnant again within a year. I gained again and this time after my son was born it really didn't go anywhere. It is difficult on yourself esteem. I compared myself to everyone that had a baby, felt embarrassed and worthless and I just kept gaining a pound or two.
I was 232 lbs and a stay at home mom with no friends and a marriage as unhealthy as I was. I also edited myself out of every single event, every photo of my children. I have no photos of myself pregnant, me with them when born, or baby and toddler pics. I have millions of pics of other relatives with MY kids. I didn't want to see myself, I wanted to dissapear. I felt ugly, depressed, no energy. And super hypersensitive about anything relating to how I looked. I had never ever been more than maybe 10 pounds over weight my entire life. You really find it impossible to accept the change. Even though I knew what to do to drop weight it seemed impossible. Emotionally no one knew the damage it took.
My turning point was the county fair. My son wanted to go down the huge slide in a sack. I heavily walked up the ladder, light headed and panting when reached the top. The man handed us the burlap sack, I put it down and help my son on my lap. The attendant pushed us and away we went. For about 12 inches. I became stuck on the slide, I was to wide to slide down. I had never been so humiliated. It added to the self hate. It was a moment of realization and then later that same week I remember loading the kids in the car and groceries..I remember picking up a bag of groceries and my size 24 pants ripping completely open, zipper was totally gone. I cried and cried all the way home. It made me say ok do something anything.
I also relate to your comment about your husband loving you but you don't love yourself. I feel the same way and it is so hard. I'm 40 years old now, soon to be 41and I am still dealing with the same emotional issues and self esteem problems. I have had some success dropping weight in the past but regained 30 lbs before I hit my goal. I remember promising myself I would change and take care of myself, learn to love me..and I haven't. What ive learner as I lost weight (got down to 150lbs) is that I daudreamed of how life would be thin, how happy and perfect things and myself would be..that I would love myself if I just wasn't fat. I learner that self love doesn't come just from losing weight and changing how you look on the outside. At 150lbs I hated myself and felt just as ugly that didn't change. No one told me that while you lose weight you also need to work on the inside of yourself, deal with your emotions and really dip deep into why you feel like you do about yourself because I didn't gain selfesteem I still had all he Hate and the emotions that drove me to binge. That's why I Gained some of the weight back, I didn't change inside and still dealt with emotions or problems the same way, food.
I also second a low carb approach. It had two MAJOR benefits for me. It got my appetite under control for the first time in decades. Also I got much less tired.
I think people can underestimate their calories. Especially condiments and liquid calories. Sauces and dressings can add a lot of calories. In any event low calorie, whole foods, no or as minimal processed food as possible has helped a lot of people.
Another benefit of feeling full with low carbs is not having to calorie count. I just don't eat as much naturally now. Try carb counters forum if interested.
Last edited by diamondgeog; 01-29-2014 at 08:28 PM.
I was an athlete in my teens and twenties, but after my second pregnancy, I had Toxemia) my health took a down fall. I gained 100 lbs. during my pregnancy and I was hardly eating, it has yet to come off. I never diet, I watch what I eat, but if you look at me, you would think I eat whatever I want, I wish that were true, but even though I am big, I still Do not eat that much, actually, I eat less now then When I was thin. I am tired all the time, and have been put on anti-depressants, they seem to help, but my body is so tired, I made a new year’s resolution, that I make every year, but for some reason, this year I think will be better. I am determined to lose my weight, and find out what my real health issues are and not just a pat on the head and a prescription for depressants, when there is something wrong in your body, your body tells you but the doctors seem to belittle my questions and concerns, not just the fact that I am very familiar with medical terminology and various typed of diseases that could be the culprit. I can't believe I let myself get this big, I am an athlete, and athletes don't get fat. I hate my picture being taken, and when my daughter was alive I have very few with just me and her. I regret not having more, but I hate what I look like, and it hinders every part of my life, If only I were think I could do this or that, this weight has made me cease in following my passions and wants. All it takes is one glimpse of me in the mirror or other and I am devastated. My husband loves me, but I do not love myself. Yeah I think I am pretty for a fatty, but I do not enjoy life. I always think, if I just were skinny...
Hi Firstfatnowthin, Much like you, I hate having my picture taken. I have gone on a weight loss journey now for the last year and a half. Every time I felt like I had lost enough weight that I started to feel good about myself, an event would happen with my family and I would have a picture taken with some family members only to see that I indeed still looked the same. SO disappointing!
I started a high protein, low carb diet and lost 40 pounds. I felt great until I saw the pictures of my daughter's graduation. I then had surgery on my foot and have been pretty much couched for 12 weeks with recovery. Needless to say, 15 pounds are back on. I am going on a new journey of calorie counting and going to attempt some slow exercising. We can encourage each other and keep each other accountable. That is what is so awesome about this website. The encouragement, success stories and outlet for our feelings is great.
I hope you find the same feeling of encouragement as I have. I also want to express my deepest sympathy to you for your loss. This is a new year and the new you!!!!
Just turned 43 and still overweight
