Hi. I'm LL. I've had weight problems since I was child. I've felt for more than half my life, I've been dieting, losing the same 40 pounds. In my teens and I did WW off and on. Then I was just at 150s, and was content there for a while. Then I met someone and we decided to get married, and I lost 21 pounds for that, because I found I loved to play tennis, and at the time my work was physically demanding.
Now I don't work, married for almost 8 years. In 2010 we went to hawaii. I promised myself I'd have fun no matter what my weight was, and I did. I didn't think about it much as far as my weight, but what I did notice, is I was tired, and had no energy and I didn't like feeling like that.
When I got home, I decided to go to weight loss clinic because I was done. I'm a people pleaser, and I like to impress people to show what I can do, so under the care of the doctor, with weighing in weekly, it helped. Consistantly lost 5lbs a month, and I was happy with that. I was on this pill though called phentermine, and it changed everything about the way I felt, I thought it was some miracle from the unknown. I just wasn't hungry and I felt more happy. I was on about 1200 calorie diet plan, it was so easy with this pill. I lost 40 lbs. 175-130. I saw 129.5 briefly, so close to my goal. And then I got stuck. I decided to take a break from them after almost 1 year. When the weight started to creep on again (only 2-4lbs LOL) I went back to the clinic to try this pill again. This time, I was... irritable, I didn't want to talk to anyone, it made me unhappy, I'd cry alot, and my hair started falling out. Oh and I didn't lose weight. I threw them in the trash and decided I had to figure out how I could continue without these stupid pills.
I just had so much energy, now I realize, I'm more thin than I was back when I went to hawaii, but I still just feel tired.
Its been.. 3 months since then, and..
Today I stepped on the scale, and it said 140. After weighing myself daily for so long, the number never affected me much, I learned my bodies fluctuations, and never bothered me. But this one has. because its not a fluctuation... I told myself I wouldn't break that number again, so I'm now I"m scared. I never want to be where I was. I threw away all my big clothes.
I don't know what to do. I've had read so many books about weight loss, with so many conflicting theories, I don't know what to believe anymore. I guess .... I should start counting calories again. I did it for a year straight but, to me, that in itself it some kind of mental grind. I mean I've tried to restart, but I'm so tired, I don't even have the energy to deal with the numbers.
Some of you may think "oh she only gained 10 lbs" but it might as well feel like 100 to me. It's the feeling that upsetting, not the actual amount. It's the feeling of slipping back into a dark time.
I think you need to stop relying on pills or diets because you truly have not learned how to keep the weight off (which is very common so don't worry).
If one takes pills to lose the weight, it doesn't solve the issue on why they gained the weight in the first place. Have you tried something that is possible for the rest of your life? (aka not a pill). I calorie count for this simple reason. It is something is not only teaches portion control, but it is something sustainable for the rest of my life. I learn what a meal is supposed to look like, how much food I'm supposed to actually eat, and I learn how to balance macro nutrients in the process (thanks to my handy Iphone!)
It's good that you caught the weight gain before it got any higher. That means you are learning! People gain and lose lots, the key is to stop it before it gets out of control. You are gaining because your calories in exceed the calories out. Do you exercise at all? Weight loss and maintenance are not easy, but being over weight isn't easy either!
What do you do to maintain the weight? You can't just stop all exercising (if you were doing any before) and go back to eating whatever just because you hit your goal weight. You say you are tired.... do you ever exercise? Exercise is a great way to get energy. At first, it is super super tiring (who wants to exercise when they already have no energy!).... but you need to force yourself to do it.... Then, after about a week, I promise you will have more energy and feel more awake!!!
Unless you've been on phentermine, you can never understand... I used to say the same thing, but if you haven't experienced it, then please don't talk to me like you understand. Keep in mind this was doctor assisted, I wasn't junkie or anything. Also, I did this one time in my life. What do you think I did the other 20+ years??
The pills don't DO the work for you. I counted 1200 calories, daily for one year straight, and I learned potion control. I thought, wow, I finally got this, my potions always were filling. I knew exactly how much to eat. As far as exercise, I did an experiment. I walked/jogged 5 times a week for 2 months straight. I didn't lose weight any more or less when I quit from a burn out. Actually, the week I quit, and I let my body rest, I had a huge -3 pound loss that week.
I came here for support, not a lecture in what I should be doing, or being talked to like I know nothing. I've studied this crap my whole life.
Last edited by littlelake; 03-02-2012 at 02:17 PM.
Sorry if that came off rude, it wasn't supposed to at all! I apologize if it was read the wrong way!!!
Also, I have gone the diet pill route. Been there, so I do understand. The point of my post was that pills generally do not teach people how to keep the weight off. Anyone I know who has done the diet pill route either does not lose, or gains it all back (myself included).
Did you up your calories when exercising? A lot of people forget to do that and it makes their net calories far to low. You ask for support, and what people do is give you advice. You either like the advice, or you don't, but that's generally how these forms work. I am giving you my opinion on the situation you have presented, and that's what happens. I did not call you a failure in any way, I just stated my opinion on something to try and what generally happens to most people.
This energy thing would worry me. Ditto moods. Are you feeling not just discouraged but depressed?
I was going to suggest getting a check up if you have not already. Make sure you don't have some underlying health reason for the mood, hunger cravings, etc. I deal with PCOS/IR/hypothyroid stuff that went undiagnosed for a LONG time.
I know the energy slump well. I kept testing "low normal" for a LONG time but felt like YARGH until one day I finally tested low enough to slide into low. When I started taking my thyroid medicine it was like a HUGE fog lifted!
So I'd suggest making sure you don't suffer from something like that first -- hypothyroid, depression, some other thing that is robbing you of your energy. Do you sleep ok? Maybe sleep apnea? Vitamin B12 or D deficiency?
It's a lot of work to diet, and it is harder still if there's extra health issues.
YOU have to want to do it yourself and not rely on any quick fixes - or you regain and are in the same boat. Whether a dr. passed it on to us or not, YOU are still the one guardian of your body and what passes through your lips. You can't post and then be critical of a reply that was intended to help, not lecture. If you're familiar at all with this site ...
You say you don't know what to do. ... There will always be conflicting thoughts on ANYTHING - it's how companies, authors, doctors, etc. make money. That's nothing new. Cut calories and do it healthfully and slowly, you'll see progress. IF you want to do it.
1. Thanks @ astrophe27. (I've been diagnosed with something in 2008, but I won't need to go into details, I obviously need to check up on that.)
2. Coming here was a mistake on my part. Other than, thank you anyway for your time in even replying to me, all that did. I meant no wrongdoing or offense, its just not the type of support I need.
We're happy to be supportive, but it takes a while to get to know people. It isn't that anyone is trying to alienate you.
Hope you look into it then (whatever the 2008 dx was) and make sure it isn't getting worse. You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Hope things look up for you!
Why not give us a chance ? What kind of support are you looking for ? Someone may be of help to you but first we must know what you are looking for.
I'm not sure what to say. I guess, something along the lines of something encouraging, not what I should be doing, or what I am doing, as if I have done nothing at all. I accomplished something great last year and I continue to do okay. I worked really hard. I was reading thorough the accomplishments threads, I just wasn't expecting a list of things I should be doing. etc. It more about the mental affects of weight loss and gain verus anything I am doing or not doing.
OT:
Btw... your ticker is amazing. What a amazing accomplishment.
Last edited by littlelake; 03-02-2012 at 05:10 PM.
We're happy to be supportive, but it takes a while to get to know people. It isn't that anyone is trying to alienate you.
Hope you look into it then (whatever the 2008 dx was) and make sure it isn't getting worse. You sound like you have a lot on your plate. Hope things look up for you!
GL!
A.
Lord, I should have never stepped on the scale this morning.
I was diagnosed in 2008 with major depression disorder, and social anxiety disorder. That was a long time ago though and I was on antidepressants for a year, but went off per doctors orders, and was very good for a long while, infact it wasn't a problem much anymore. and/or I just coped really well. I think what happened is, and not a lot of people know this, but phentermine uptakes your serotonin as well. When I went off it, I plummeted so thats what I feel so crappy lol. I dunno, we'll see. I might call my psychiatrist on monday, tell her about this crap. I haven't decided.
Do I have a lot on my plate? maybe, but if so, its only in my head because I have a wonderful life, and husband who is always nice and supportive. Infact, I feel guilty, because my life is great, so why do I feel like this.
New, Discouraged. Not sure what to do.
LL
