Hi Sam,
I didn't notice a monotone, and I thought you opened up just fine. It sounds to me like you feel a great deal of self loathing, frustration and pain. You felt that at 500 lbs. you didn't deserve to be looked at, and now after a great success of losing 200 lbs., you still feel the same. There's something else here besides
the weight that you hate. I was very glad to hear that you are in therapy because I think that can help you find what's behind all of this. (I've benefited from therapy myself).
I know that you probably won't believe this, you are worth looking at no matter what size or shape, or style of shirt you wear. One of the great curses of our American culture is the insistence of valuing shallow beauty. I am female, and short, and weight about the same you do now, so you can imagine how fat, round and ugly I am. And the culture around me tells me the same thing, and I also believe it.
Then I read an article about a woman in African who was maimed by militia in front of her children, and deserted by her husband. She was part of a program (Women for Women International) educated her on her rights, taught her a trade and business skills. Now she earns more money than most men, and makes beautiful jewelry. She now tells people that she is beautiful because she has overcome, and makes beauty for others to enjoy.
If you ask me, that's the only beauty that counts. That's the kind of beauty that improves the world. Physical beauty is fleeting, fickle, and misleading.
I've been working on finding my beauty for five years now, and it's working.
You have it too Sam. You have worth. Yes you do.
Give the therapy time to help you find the truth. Let your wife walk you out the door, and don't let the demons of the past win. It might be a long fight, but believe me, the victory is worth it.
Btw, since the clothes really seem to bother you, maybe there's a tailor or seamstress who can help adjust the fit of the clothes. I bet they can help at least to some degree. If you don't know where to look, maybe some weight loss centers, or Dr. run diet centers have information....after all, most of their clients have the same problem.
I wish I could do something to make you feel better. I hope you can see that you have already made progress (I'm not just talking about getting healthier, but also starting therapy, getting out the door in the morning, even posting here...are all steps that are moving you forward) and give yourself credit for that.
Please keep trying. You do have worth.
I am so on your side Sam. Hope to see you here again.
Jura
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Dhani 
