[deedeesma]

Hello everyone,

My name is Tammy, I'm 38 yrs old w/ 2 children & I live in Wisconsin. I have searched high & low on the internet for people who understand weight loss. I need support because like many of the posts I've been reading still feel "fat". When I look in the mirror, I still feel the pain and have the memories of being so obese.

I don't feel how I look, and there is a constant reminder of the weight loss with the skin issue (not too bad though). I feel great with my clothes on, but when I see myself naked, I'm horrified of what I did to my body. I'm very self-defeating. I wish I could have been strong enough to help myself when I was in my younger days. I did have 2 children, my 1st born weighed almost 9 lbs and really stretched my body out bad. I have trouble distingushing between what will be saggy after my goal & what is fat?

People say I look good but I don't feel I do... I've lost 94 pounds in the last 2 & 1/2 years through, diet, exercise & meditation. I know this weight will stay off this time because I've educated myself this time. I'm what people consider to be a yo-yo dieter. This time it was a change in lifestyle, I run on the treadmill every other day for 45 minutes. I started incorporating weights recently for toning. I wonder is it too late for that? Anyways, I love this website and it has inspired me in so many different ways. When I read the posts, at least I can see that I'm not the only one who feels this way about their body after weight loss.

I want to add that I worked for 3 physicians in a plastic surgery clinic. That was really a blessing is disguise for me. Many people suffer from loss of self esteem, and feelings of not being good enough. Thin & fat, all walks of life, most people just need some form of therapy. I know learning to love yourself and accept who you are is the greatest gift of all if you can accept that it is what it is... Plastic surgery is just a band-aid for most. I have suffered alcoholism, domestic abuse and obesity. I have overcame so much in the last 5 years & I know I should be proud of myself, but it is so hard! I just want so much more than my mind will allow me to have. I can't help it, I try, but no matter what at the end of the day, I'm still not good enough. Well, I'm happy today, & I always wonder when I will ever stay "happy"... Happiness.... hmmm.... Thanks for all the "honest" posts~ Tammy

[fitbyforty]

Tammy,
You have been through a lot.Have you considered counseling to help work through all of it? I think that would be a good place to start.

[DhaniCauldwell]

Welcome! Trust me, you are beautiful. No matter what others or the scale says. Good luck on your journey.

Dhani

[Vladadog]

Congratulations on your weight loss so far! I know you are horrified what you did to your body but please, try to be proud now of what you are doing to it and for it. Old habits die hard and doubt and self-loathing are as much a habits as junk food and binging. You learned to eat right and you can learn to forgive yourself too. You can't change the past but you sure do have control of the future. Forgive yourself - you're worth it!

[Onederchic]

Hi Tammy and welcome to 3FC.

Good luck with your goals.

Hugs
Michelle