Hello 3FC 
I am still kind of new to the site. I have been here for just under a week. I was super excited to find this site. I think this will be great for my weightloss journey!
When I was setting up my little ticker thing, I was a little overwhelmed. Seeing the numbers, not the current weight but just the amount that I am wanting to lose. It`s soooo much like a whole person. I was just like, screw it! I want fast food! But then I caught someone’s signature and it said ‘I might not be able to lose 100 pounds but I can lose 10 pounds ten times!’ and I was like ‘**** ya I can do that!!!’ Then I saw a thread ‘I ate one piece of cake - I might as well eat the rest of it!?!” and it blew my mind! It really did! I keep messing up and it‘s hard to forgive myself after it‘s done. But after reading a few analogies it’s easier to deal with it.
I wish I’d found this site sooner. I think it could have been a great help. I understand the ‘Spamming’ situation on a site like this with everyone out there tryn to make a buck I can imagine the fake stories n companies that would love to pray on the members of this site. So with that said I understand the 20day wait and min postings. But it does kind of suck not beign able to see my lil ticker when I post 
Anyways I am rambling on, this is supposed to be my introduction which I have turned into a noevl, So…
When I was 20 I weighted at 245 and a size 16. I worked a dead n job and the little money I made I used to party with friends n buy cloths. So after six months of this I melted down to a size 14/13 between sizes (I am guessing I was between 180-190 never weighted myself) I dropped to a size 12 for about fifteen minutes before I started gaining back the weight. And within 3 months I was back at a size 17 fighting to maintain it but making little to no sacrifices to do so. I had starved myself for 3-5 days and then binged for a day or two. And repeated that for months I know that’s super bad but that’s what I did at that time to lose the weight. And then when I stopped spending all my money on partying I ate. I stopped hanging out with friends cause I didn’t feel cute. I was in school for a year and maintained an odd size 17 for almost a full year then dropped to a 16 then up to an 18. I started working for an agency and Jesus Christ a few months later I was pushing a size 20 andweighting in at 285 pounds. Then in 2007 I did 3 water fasts totalling about 25 days I went from 285 down to 250 and some change and I felt so good. What a change 30 some pounds can make. Pictures may not show such a dramatic change but it really is. The confidence comes back and you just view things more positively it was so great. I maintained the 255ish for well over a year.
A girlfriend of mine and I used to be the same size fighting to lose weight. I wanted fast results and she wanted long-lasting results. (We meet 3 yrs back) She is now a size 10 or 12!!! And i am 35+ pound heavier! She went vegetarian, counted calories and the results are just amazing!!!
We work to VERY DIFFERENT jobs!!! She struggles to make ends meet and I am self employed and make a considerable amount more. We both have no childern. I work from home and have soooo much free time and little to no discipline. Just telling myself to make changes and control myself is easily said but not done. If life were that easy I wouldn’t need a visa 
We chatted about our jobs before and we both agreed. If I had a more structured lifestyle/job it would be different. But honestly, I am not willing to make a financial sacrifice. I’ve worked to hard to long to do that.
I have moved to a new city. I don’t know many people in this city and again I work from home so I am so screwed I stepped on the scale the other day and I was a ridiculous 294.4 pounds
So with all that said this is it!!! My body is changing I am far from cute I AM MORBIDLY OBESE!!! Dang, I have never said that but it’s the truth. And I don’t think running from it is helping anymore. I always excused my size because I was cute. I was a ‘rare bbw’ one of the few that still had mad sex appeal even at my size. And then I noticed a pattern with men. And it keeps coming up. They’d tell me I was beautiful but I should lose weight!!! And the kicker is these were heavy men themselves and I was like ‘WHAT THE 
!!! Who the is this guy to tell me to lose weight when he fat too!!!’ And this kept coming up from men not all men but just ones that where a lil fat themselves and working on there own ‘kanye workout plan’ I was so shocked and when I told my other big girl friends they where shocked n they would say that no men had ever said that to them. I was like what the heck, why me! It wasn’t coming from one guy but as few. I have never figured out why they have said this to me and I am sure the reason is clear. Maybe I am dismissing the most obvious answer because it is to much for me to hear. I don’t know but this is the end of the line it’s time to make some changes.
I am on a mission, setting goals and I swear on my soul, I’m in the zone!!! I am not totally sure the route I am going to take but just being here on this site has really helped a lot. Everything I read it’s like you all are in my head. Like I have done it or thought of it before. I love it! It’s nice to see others results it`s a real inspiration. And to see the changes in their body’s makes me super excited to know that one day I will see that in myself!!!
Before writing my novel here I read someone’s post “excited to be here, can’t wait to leave”
And that’s SO TRUE!!! I am excited to start over again and do it right this time. It will be an emotional day when I break the 200 mark
and un-fn-believable when I can shop at a regular store
So good luck everyone!!! And best on luck workn on ur fitness!!!
On a Mission!!!
