Today is Friday, March 12, 2010…”the first day of the rest of my life” as the cliché goes. Today I woke up and realized that I’m done…I’m done being fat. I’m done with body aches and pains. I’m done thinking about starting to lose weight. I’m done hugging myself at concerts because I don’t fit into the seat. I’m done being winded after taking a shower. I’m done adjusting my bra every hour cause the underwire is stabbing me, or my fat is hanging over it in the back. I’m done pulling up my pants when I stand up cause they’ve rolled down over my fat. I’m done being a lazy slug. I’m done thinking badly about myself for all of the things listed about. I’m done thinking about reasons why I can’t get started. I’m done thinking about why I’m fat. I’m done sneaking food. I’m done vegging in front of the TV every night for 6 hours and going to bed early so I can “stretch out”. I’m done looking for “how to get started” or “how to get motivated” – I’m just going to do it.
I’m going to start eating right. I’m going to start exercising. I’m going to start thinking that I’m special. I’m going to start thinking that I’m sexy again. I’m going to start taking time for myself. I’m going to start making me a priority. I’m going to start liking myself again. I’m going to start drinking more water. I’m going to start eating more veggies. I’m going to start walking. I’m going to start taking my dogs for walks because my little girl dog is as fat as I am and I know she has to be miserable. I want her to be able to play hard this summer with her brother dog without winding herself or aching like I know she has to. I’m going to appreciate what I have in my life. I’m going to start reading again. I’m going to start listening to music again. I’m going to acknowledge that I’m happy instead of looking for reasons why I’m not.
What happened to that girl who used to flirt and could turn men’s heads on a dime. What happened to that radiant smile and that sparkle in my eyes. What happened to the girl that used to shave her legs every morning, and apply lotion to her body and wear make-up, and spend time on her hair. I realized yesterday I couldn’t even tell you the last time I looked in a full length mirror. What happened to my confidence. What happened to my energy. What happened to the girl who used to care.
Last night I went to see Larry the Cable Guy and Bill Engvall. We had seats on the floor at the arena. When the show was over, we had to climb all the stairs to get out – by the time I was ten steps from the top, I was completely out of breath and my legs were jello. I think this is when I KNEW.
I weighed in at Weight Watchers at lunch today. 259.6. My highest ever. I’ve gained almost 20 pounds in the past year. I’ve gained almost 40 pounds in the past five years. Today, it stops. Today, my life starts. Give me strength. Give me suggestions. Give me tips. Give me support.
I am so excited for you! You have just written one of the most honest and introspective pieces I have ever read. Like you, I'm just plain over it. What are we waiting for??? Our health and happiness is not something to put to the side for later. What's wrong with right now!
I think that in my own life, each time I have started to try to do something, the task just felt too large. This time, instead of focusing on 50 lbs, I'm really focusing on one day and one pound at a time.
Rather than the numbers, though, it's about all of the things you have listed. It's about getting healthy, feeling better, aching less, feeling sexy, having renewed confidence! If we have all of these things, the rest has got to fall in line too.
I had a professor who was famous for silly sayings, but they stuck with me. "You can't eat the elephant all in one bite"...well, thanks Dr. Miller, for the "eating" topic, but it's true. We can both break out goal down to mini goals, like so many of the ladies here. You also "don't go bear hunting with a switch"...we need the right tools. I have several friends who love Weight Watchers, so I hope that you find success with it, as well.
Good luck with your goal, hun. You can do it! We will do it!
I will give you applause and a hug and say welcoem, thanks for joining us and on your Day 1, you are already an inspiration! Thank you for being here and posting!
I'm also a newbie. Thank you for your honesty, it tells me that I'm not the only one with such feelings of disappointment at what I've become. Best Wishes-we can do it!
I just looked back at my 1st fitness journal entry. Sitting with my trainer, barely being able to move without pain and 25 pounds heavier. I had only 1 goal. Get strong. Little did I know that one goal would encompass so much of my life. One goal leads to another and another and pretty soon you are happier healthier and a whole new you. Best of luck. You've already done the hardest part. You made the decission!
I applaud you on one heck of a first entry. That was so brutally honest and we all understand exactly how you feel.
Everyone here is encouraging, kind, and understanding. Don't ever think for a second you're alone in any battle, there is always someone else out there with a very similar problem.
Breaking down everything into mini-goals is sooo much easier to handle. Saying "I have 100 pounds to lose, this will never happen" is so discouraging. There are also a LOT of people on here who have lots so much weight it's almost unbelievable.
Second time around
