[Too Cuddly]

This is the second time I have introduced myself on this site, having once already said ‘right, I’m going to lose weight’ and then promptly continuing to binge-eat… I think one of my main problems with losing weight is that I know that being thin isn’t going to make me happy. When I went to uni I was a pretty damn slender tall blonde, yet ended up in a depression which led to me taking time off. I started taking anti-depressants when I was 21, and these, along with comfort eating packets of biscuits meant I put on a lot of weight. Ironically, the happier I got, the bigger I got. When I had left uni and moved to Cambridge to do teacher training, I was fair bit larger (a size 16 rather than a size 10). Sadly, I was not doing to well on the course and dropped out. To stop myself staying in bed all day without having a job, I would sit in the coffee shops of bookshops, and read/write and eat naughty things all day. I still do this, in fact. I really enjoy spending time chilling out on my own with a book, and love being out of the house.

I am currently on the tiniest dose of my antidepressant possible (I am cutting the smallest tablet you can get in half), so the excuse that it is that that is keeping me fat is soon going to be gone! My other excuses are…

1) My job is so up in the air, I have no routine at the moment, so it’s really difficult to plan my meals.
2) I have no energy to cook.
3) It is better to be overweight and happy, out in coffee shops in the day, than staying at home and giving into the temptation of lying in bed and getting depressed.
4) There’s no point losing weight, because in about 3-4 years my boyfriend and I want kids, and I’ll lose my figure again then anyway.
5) We are decorating and the kitchen is always too messy to cook.
6) Exercising is such a pain in the arse, cos you get all sweaty and need a shower after.
7) I’m putting my body under enough change by coming off antidepressants, I don’t want to wean off sugar at the same time.
8) I already gave up alcohol completely, it is so unfair that I don’t drink like everyone else my age but am still fat!
9) I don’t have many friends who live locally, so sitting in coffee shops with a book is one of the few things it is fun to do on my own.
10) It’s not like I ever eat kebabs or greasy chips and stuff, surely I can’t be getting fat just from my sweet tooth? There must be some other problem.
11) I have polycystic ovaries, it’s not my fault I’m fat!

Let the excuse bashing begin!!! I need help to remind myself that these are completely unvalid reasons for staying fat!!!

[Alana in Canada]

Do you really want to lose weight?

Or do you merely wish it would go away?

I can "refure" your excuses for you--but that's not going to help you. You need to come up with countering thoughts yourself--it won't work otherwise. And who am I to try and tell you some excuse isn't valid? I don't know anything about polycystic ovaraies. Maybe it's true, maybe being fat isn't your fault--but so what? (My, I'm an insensitive B8tch, you could be thinking.)

The same thinking which created those excuses is the same thinking which will discount and nullify everything I say. It's your brain. You have to refute them yourself. You have to create the new neural pathways in your head.

Here's another excercise: write a list of pros and cons for losing weight. It seems like you have the cons already listed! What are the reasons--what would be the result if you lost weight.

And by the by, pregnancy is uncomfortable enough without adding extra weight to it. That's a recipe for physical disaster.

Good luck.

[Noniegrace]

Originally Posted by Too Cuddly

4) There’s no point losing weight, because in about 3-4 years my boyfriend and I want kids, and I’ll lose my figure again then anyway.

NONONO! No no no no no. I had this exact same opinion, thinking why lose weight in between babies, since I'll just put it back on. Well, because when you start off your pregnancy way overweight they are EVEN MORE uncomfortable. Now, I don't like being pregnant, and I'd honestly rather shoot myself in the face than be pregnant again, so I was MISERABLE.

If I could go back and change it I would, totally.