Hi April. Welcome to 3FC. I have a few thoughts for you. I hope you don't mind if I share my perspective.
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I have NO motivation to lose weight.
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First of all, I think you'll find that a lot of people on this site will tell you two things about motivation: One is that you have to have it for YOU. If you don't want this badly enough, then you're not going to be able to find motivation from anyone or anything else. Two is that motivation only carries you so far - what will make you successful is COMMITMENT. If you are not committed to losing weight, then those days when your motivation is lacking, when you're tired, when your kids are driving you crazy, when you just don't feel like exercising or eating right ... those times will make you give in unless you're committed.
Ok, that said, I want to comment on a few things you wrote:
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I just realized I have gained almost 12 lbs since Thanksgiving. I don't really understand why.
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Id' say this is your first problem. If you don't know why you gained, how can you possibly know how to lose? I would suggest that your first step would be to start keeping a food journal. Write down everything you eat. And I do mean everything. If you have a bite of your daughter's sandwich - write it down. If you lick the spoon while you're cooking dinner - write it down. If you drink a 1/2 a coke in the car on the way to the store - write it down. Write down EVERYTHING. I suspect it'll be a real eye opener to you not only about how much food you eat, but WHAT you eat.
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I have had the same bad eating habits for years. I guess it just finally caught up with me. Honestly, on most days I only eat one meal a day. But a couple days a week I just get this strong craving for junk food like chips and chocolate. I rarely eat at work but on my off days I feel like I sit in front of the tv and eat all day long.
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I suspect that your metabolism is kinda screwed -up from years of eating too little, eating badly, eating too much of the wrong kind of thing. It is entirely possible to gain weight eating too little as well as eating too much, if you're not providing your body with adequate nutrition.
The problem with eating one meal a day is that you've trained your body to panic about food. Your body knows that most days you're not going to feed it more than once. So it has learned to hoard the food and nutrition you're giving it. So on the days that you do binge on junk, your body is not equipped to handle all that influx of food properly, so it just converts it all to fat. (That's a fairly simple explanation of what happens, but it's a basic version.) You make that worse when you eat junk and chips and candy - because although your putting FOOD in your body, you're not putting NUTRITION in your body ... so again, your body freaks out and holds on to everything you give it, converting it to fat, because it has no idea when you're going to give it real nutrition again.
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I want to get out and walk but every time I think about doing it I just sit down and say well today isnt good so maybe tomorrow.
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Getting back to the difference between motivation and commitment - this is the ONLY thing that's made the difference for me. Let me ask you this - if your twins needed you to do something for them, would you say "Nah, today isn't good. I'll do it tomorrow." If your girls needed your help with homework, would you say "Not today, baby. Maybe tomorrow." Or think about your bills. When your mortgage is due do you look at it and say "Eh. I don't feel like paying it today. I'll pay it next month." Of COURSE you don't. Because these are things that you HAVE to do, if you want to be a responsible parent and a responsible adult.
That's how I look at eating healthily and exercising. It's not something I have a CHOICE about. It's something I do because I'm a responsible adult. And responsible adults don't shirk their responsibilities. They don't put off paying bills, cleaning the house, going to the doctor, getting up in the morning and going to work ... all those things. They aren't things you want to do every day. Sometimes you enjoy them and sometimes you don't. But you DO them. Because you're an adult.
Will that mindset work for you? I dunno. Maybe you're not ready yet. But it has worked for me ... whenever I feel like going straight home from the office because I just don't *want* to go to the gym ... I do it anyway. Because "want" has nothing to do with it.
The thing is ... this journey is both easy and hard. It's easy in the sense that I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to be not-fat any more. I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to eat good food that's good for my body. I never realized before how WONDERFUL it feels to exercise and see muscles develop in my body and learn what I'm capable of.
But it's incredibly hard to get started. It's incredibly hard to give up your old habits and your old comforts and your old crutches and admit that what you're doing to your body is bad.
Ultimately, though, you HAVE to want it. You have to want it worse than anything you've ever wanted before. Or you'll just look for reasons to quit.
I hope you find your reasons to stay ... because the results are totally worth it.
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How can I find motivation?
Hi
