I am new and getting ready to start my journey tomorrow. I had planned to get started a few times over the last few weeks, but never did. But I am ready to do this....
I was curious if anyone has a lack of support at home? I know this is my journey alone and I am not looking to change my DH' s eating habits at all. And I realize he does want me to succeed, but has heard me say over and over and over again about starting yet another weight loss plan. So I understand his view. He does a lot of the cooking and I know it is a change we have to deal with and the more I stand my ground and succeed, it will help. But was curious if anyone dealt with this - just the lack of support at times?
I think this is the most supportive group I have ever seen!! I am doing this alone, so will come here often!
Welcome bythesea52! You can find support here on 3FC & with your coach & maybe friends, co-workers on IP. Support is so incredibly valuable on this journey. Your DH will come on board eventually, I'll bet.
This is a subject near and dear to my heart because I have faced this not only since I started IP, but during almost any weight loss attempt in the past years.
My husband is a man few words, but I have tried to let him know that I am on this program and very briefly what it involves. Yet despite my pleas for a 'healthy restaurant' when we eat out, we end up some place where I struggle against what he knows I want and would have scarfed down in the past, and also to find things that are OP for Ideal Protein.
The biggest challenge after the lack of support has been the constant presence of things being cooked that are soooo bad, regardless of what plan one is trying to follow. The site of the fry pan coming out for one more messy, stinky pan fried thing sends me out to car and to the gym to get away from that.
So I hurt on two levels - lack of concern and support for my admittedly no fun sort of meal and secondly his refusal to consider respecting that plan or maybe even moderating his intake.
The answer - you can change only YOU and the rest needs to become water off a duck's back - and that takes practice.
Before anyone jumps in with response to my seeming lack of marital bliss, I have been married very happily for 24 years this month. This is an issue that existed, stressed me out, but I have found my way to deal with it.
It is wonderful when you have family support, and when you do not, just plow on ahead, strong and tall.
bythesea - I totally understand where you are coming from. Fortunately, my family has been totally supportive and tried to help me.
That said, it is a challenge being the only one in the house on a diet. Both my husband and his brother (who lives with us) are large guys who eat - a LOT. It's always been a challenge keep weight on my dh. He is also doing most of the cooking (was a professional chef for many years). He has been great about prepping my veggies (he's much faster with a knife than I am!) and portioning out my meat, helping spice up my meals, etc.
We usually all eat the same meat and prepare my veggies separately and add whatever carb for them. On nights dh doesn't feel like cooking, I just prepare my meal separately and they eat whatever the heck they feel like.
I knew from the beginning that I couldn't get all the carbs and junk food out of the house and I didn't even try. I just put myself in charge of what goes in my mouth - I'm much stronger than a cookie, chip, ice cream etc. I've only banned one food from the house and the guys were happy to oblige. The longer I went just not eating anything but what was on the sheet, the easier it became to just ignore what I don't chose to eat. You can do it!
The world is full of stuff I'm not eating right now. I know what most of it tastes like and figure it's not going any where. I think having a plan (I make weekly menus and post them on the fridge), sticking to it and knowing that I don't have to eat anything not on the sheet makes it a lot easier.
Just keep your goals in mind whenever you're tempted to stray off plan. The more you use your "determination muscle" the stronger it will get. And stick around here - this is the best support group you could hope for!
Thank you all SO much for the kind words and support. Each response touches on something different - thank you. My DH struggles with severe health issues - non-food related, so I know his enjoyment of cooking is important to him. He is not so much into the dessert side of things, but just really hearty meals. Something to definitely work on and I know I can do this!
I do not use a coach and so this board is incredibly important!
My DH is not on the plan but we work together to get me going. I cook the evening meat and we do separate sides. He and I still eat together every night just a touch different. But by seeing me eat better over the last 2 years or so he has started making better choices. He knows not to bring in any junk food to the house.
Luckily I do have support at home. My boyfriend even knows how to order my food if I'm running late to meet him for dinner. Once I went to the bathroom when our food arrived and he sent it back to be prepared properly (aka. the way I ordered it!)
I feel for all of you that don't have the best support system at home but, remember, you're doing it for you and can overcome these types of situations!
schenectady
I knew you'd be the perfect person to reply to the original poster
Isn't it great we have such a supportive community that we all know & support each other enough here?
schenectady
I knew you'd be the perfect person to reply to the original poster
Isn't it great we have such a supportive community that we all know & support each other enough here?
Lisa - I agree with you completely!! It is a fantastic place and I am very happy to have found this group!
schenectady
I knew you'd be the perfect person to reply to the original poster
Isn't it great we have such a supportive community that we all know & support each other enough here?
Lisa - you are so kind to say that to me.
Honestly, it is just me paying forward the kind if support people like you have given me in my challenges. I am sooooo happy where I am right now that I could split a seam (those days are over 'cause my clothes are all baggy)!
Together we can try to see as many people through this process to a healthy and active lifestyle. I cannot wait to hit my goal and every day I am challenging myself more and more. Feels good.
I am not on IP but I have had lots of arguments with my wife and family over my diet and change in lifestyle over the past year. Essentially we eat separate meals. When we go out to eat, I make sure there is something I can eat and eat it.
There are always times when you need to compromise, but day-to-day it's my way or the highway. My change in lifestyle has put a strain on my marriage and family but sometimes that's just the way it is.
My weightloss journey was for me, not for them. It had to be for me, else I would have quit by now. It's sometimes hard for family to understand that.
I never complain about what the rest of my family eats or cooks in front of me. That is their free choice and my problem if I can't face them eating stuff I cannot. Not theirs. But I would equally like them to respect my food choices and that is not always forthcoming.
To the OP - I assume that everyone at times feels a lack of support - but since weightloss is such a personal issue at some point we have to realize that it is all up to us. I think that makes the difference in succeeding or not. Hopefully once he starts to see your results he will come around. These issues are always tricky. I wish you the best of luck!
The obstacle that I run into is that my DH suffers from Crohns Disease and mainly eats very calorie dense foods, we have a total reverse Jack Spratt and his wife (why is she never given a name? anyway...) lifestyle. So we mainly eat together but we just eat our own meals at the same table. It can get hard but it isn't intentional - he has to eat his way just as much as I have to eat my way.
Watching him eat his way back to health has really inspired me and made me realize that it's possible. It isn't easy for either of us but it's possible!
This is a dumb question but what is a DH? I am drawing a blank? Maybe I need more coffee?
DH ... Dear Husband?
I am used to the term SO = Significant Other ...
Sorry, Yes, Dear Husband - I am used to some abbrevations from other forums I've frequented. I am used to OP as "Original Poster" referring back to the first post in the thread. The first few days I kept scrolling back and reading the first post again and again totally confused until I finally read Lisa's notes on each daily thread and realized that here it meant "On Program". LOL
Lack of support at home??
