Someone at work "warned" me or wanted me to know that her massage therapist lost 60 lbs on IP and 9 months later had gained it all back. My answer to her was, well then she just didn't learn about food did she?
I know she meant well as to make sure I understood I still have to work after phase 1 is over, but HELLO I know it's not magic.
Keep strong, I just think to myself when I hear something negative (I hear, are you sure it's healthy all the time) they are just jealous I am losing weight and looking so damn good!
as for the skinny sister... she is just worried she won't be the skinny sister anymore
I'm sorry. There's a difference between genuine concern and comments meant to bring someone down. Statistically the majority of people following ANY diet plan don't keep the weight off- but we're working on making permanent changes here, which should be part of a weight loss plan for everyone! If she had actually engaged you in a conversation about it instead of making negative comments maybe she would learn something.
Good for you for keeping your cool. Just recognize it comes from a place of insecurity on the part of the person who said it and is NOT a reflection on you. You'll prove her wrong!
1st of all, (((Hugs))) to all of you who have experienced such negative behavior. I KNOW 1st hand what that is all about.
I have an Aunt who for my whole life had nothing more to say when she saw me then: Why do you bite your nails?? When are you going to lose weight? You are never going to find a boyfriend if you don't lose weight....She was heavy when she married and her husband was a Saint and loved by all.
As I got older, I learned more about her. She is my Godmother and did not want to be. I am a twin and she wanted to be the boys Godmother.
At my Mom's wake she STILL was, why don't you talk to me, you should come visit. There's more to the story but I am all set.
There is some serious sibling rivalry going on there! Your sis is the one with issues, not you. Don't let her get you down!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ishbel
WOW - I canNOT imagine my sisters doing this... So my first thought was "this woman needs a hug" and my second thought was "her sister has some self esteem issues".
She is trying VERY hard and being very obvious about sabatoshing you. If it was me, I would reflect on that and try to figure out why...which could help you understand her a bit better and be able to block her out when she gets like that. It almost sounds like she's angry with you, which is amusing if you really re-frame it. What goal isn't she meeting...that's causing her to be angry with you for meeting YOUR goal. Would be interesting to know.
I had a lot of negative comments while on Phase 1 and the first few months of maintenance they continued (they are slowing down now, very rare). HOWEVER, the new you becomes the new norm....no matter what...don't let someone else dull your shine!! E-V-E-R. If they are trying to sabatosh you, it's their 'sh*t not yours. And remember if they are jealous, go look in the mirror, fluff your hair and say "hey babe, someone is jealous of YOU!'
The comments can be difficult and draining...BUT many a person said very VERY nice things to me...to help me get over the negativity. I made a lits of them and put them on my desk at work so that they were in my face when someone was negative.
That list is still there (I actually look at it daily). The shine one is #1
LIKE! LIKE! Ishbel - very well put!
Quote:
Originally Posted by ragdoll74
Don't let that get you down. There are a lot of people out there that are glass half empty and they like to try and bring everyone else down with them. Nothing can take away from your success.
Most of my family is supportive, but my MIL has mentioned a couple times how IP is contrary to what "they" tell you about how to eat...this comment always comes after I tell her I can't have any fruit.
Last time I almost yelled "IT'S JUST WHILE I'M LOSING WEIGHT!" I've explained this to her before...no fruit, bread or dairy until I am at goal weight.
Seems like there's always one - I told my family right from the beginning that this is not a balanced diet, and that is why we take so many supplements. Once we reach maintenance we will be back to having a balanced diet.
Quote:
Originally Posted by djs06
I'm sorry. There's a difference between genuine concern and comments meant to bring someone down. Statistically the majority of people following ANY diet plan don't keep the weight off- but we're working on making permanent changes here, which should be part of a weight loss plan for everyone! If she had actually engaged you in a conversation about it instead of making negative comments maybe she would learn something.
Good for you for keeping your cool. Just recognize it comes from a place of insecurity on the part of the person who said it and is NOT a reflection on you. You'll prove her wrong!
I'm sorry. There's a difference between genuine concern and comments meant to bring someone down. Statistically the majority of people following ANY diet plan don't keep the weight off- but we're working on making permanent changes here, which should be part of a weight loss plan for everyone! If she had actually engaged you in a conversation about it instead of making negative comments maybe she would learn something.
Good for you for keeping your cool. Just recognize it comes from a place of insecurity on the part of the person who said it and is NOT a reflection on you. You'll prove her wrong!
'Like' ITA.
Also, as I read the comment about the 'skinny sister' who so blatantly tries to sabotage your dieting efforts, I couldn't help but wonder what 'benefit' (in her own mind) she gets from your being overweight? She must feel threatened by the change in progress in you, or she wouldn't be behaving in such an antagonistic way. I think it was Lisa who said she'd be tempted to just straight out ask her why she's being so blatant about trying to undermine your dieting efforts. I'd be tempted to confront her too. There's some self esteem issue there that she probably isn't even aware of.
Hang tough though - you're doing great. Don't let other people's negativity get you down.
Thanks for all the support and words of encouragement. What I really wanted to say to her was diets don't fail, they all work whether it be WW, IP, Atkins, etc. Its rarely the diet but the dieter. I know maintaince will be a challenge and I am up for it. I know that if I want to maintain the weight, it will be work, but sooooooo worth it!
Funny that what some people think are appropriate comments are completely the opposite. But, I think you are all right...there is definite intention behind the comments and that is to be rude and snide in the hopes of creating doubt. Luckily, I am an active member of this community and get more support than I could have ever imagined.
Thanks for all the support and words of encouragement. What I really wanted to say to her was diets don't fail, they all work whether it be WW, IP, Atkins, etc. Its rarely the diet but the dieter. I know maintaince will be a challenge and I am up for it. I know that if I want to maintain the weight, it will be work, but sooooooo worth it!
Funny that what some people think are appropriate comments are completely the opposite. But, I think you are all right...there is definite intention behind the comments and that is to be rude and snide in the hopes of creating doubt. Luckily, I am an active member of this community and get more support than I could have ever imagined.
My experience - Everyone thinks that they have the God given right to comment on how you are losing weight....NOT!
A friend said the same thing to me about why am I doing this to myself to just gain it back?
I FINALLY had it and just responded without thinking but it was very effective!
"Thanks for your support! I'll remember to come back to you when I need encouragement"
DO I think the talking has stopped? Oh **** no but at least they are not doing it to my face!
Congrats on your weight loss.
Passive -Aggressive people can be challenging.
Keep doing what your doing and ignore things that will not enhance in your life.
Happiness is a choice...I choose to be happy even if I'm surrounded by "Debbie Downers".
Misery loves company!
Good Luck, Roo2
I'm so sorry you are having a rough time--so glad you are venting here. I find it very frustrating when someone's first reaction is to say something about how the hard part will be keeping it off. You know what--the whole thing is the hard part and you should be proud of me for working to get myself healthy, no matter what happens. Sometimes I think people simply don't know what to say. For this reason, when people notice my weight loss and ask what I'm doing I usually just shrug or say eating a lot of lettuce. Only if they really want to dive in do I discuss IP or my program.
What I have found is that some people just wait for you to fail and want you to fail at things you are doing that they can not or are not willing to do themselves because if you do it validates why they never tried in the first place. That being said some people are just a**holes and like to put others down either directly or in a underhanded way (like a compliment followed my a negative comment). What has always helped me is just proving them wrong. We are never going to change everyones opinion but that is all it is an opinion.
Get support from us, vent to us, support us as we need it and WE WILL ALL PROVE THEM WRONG!!
This weekend I cleaned out my closet and donated all the clothing that is too big for me. This morning after I told my mom this, she said "Don't you think you should hold onto those for awhile?" Basically implying that I should keep the fat clothes in case I gain the weight back.
Funny you mention the cleaning out the closet thing...I did that this weekend and part of me was scared to let them go. My coahc on Friday said throw them out that way if you gain any weight you will be forced to get back on for a couple days/weeks so that your clothes fit properly. I like the idea of having only the current size that I want to be at hanging in the closet. Its another form of accountability.
My experience - Everyone thinks that they have the God given right to comment on how you are losing weight....NOT!
A friend said the same thing to me about why am I doing this to myself to just gain it back?
I FINALLY had it and just responded without thinking but it was very effective!
"Thanks for your support! I'll remember to come back to you when I need encouragement"
DO I think the talking has stopped? Oh **** no but at least they are not doing it to my face!
What a perfect response!
Last time I went to my doctor and told her I had lost 40 lbs at that time, she was so encouraging, and said whatever your doing keep it up, all my numbers were improved, anyway something she said really stuck with me she said most people can't even loose 10 lbs and just look at you! Made me feel like YES! This is why I'm doing this to feel better and looking better is just my icing on my self, ha.! Show everyone what we can do!
So my first thought was "this woman needs a hug" and my second thought was "her sister has some self esteem issues". 
