3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community  

Go Back   3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community > Diet Central > General Diet Plans and Questions

General Diet Plans and Questions General diet questions, support for various diet plans other than those listed below.

"Skinny Dream" not so great?

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old 03-20-2013, 05:28 PM   #1
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,118

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Question "Skinny Dream" not so great?

SO, browsing around the net, I stumbled upon this read.

Huh.


I mean, sure, I have fears of what my body is going to look like after I reach goal. But having been this big for a relatively short time of my life, I am not all that concerned really. And I know losing the weight isn't going to be a miraculous cure to any issues I have residing in my head. I know I am going to look in the mirror and hate my image. I am probably going to keep seeing my reflection staring back at me and think it much larger than it really is (I already do that.) I know I am going to make careful decisions on what goes in my mouth (already doing that too.) But, I dunno.

Reading that article put into my mind a perspective I had not considered. I guess I never really dwelt on the fact that many people put stock in their happiness based on their waist size. The only thing my weight does to my mood is piss my off when I can't catch up to my running kid. Well, that and the health issues. Yeah, those suck. But I don't have this fantasy of what life is going to be like once I hit "x" pounds. Maybe it is because I weighed "x" pounds less than 10 years ago, or maybe it is because I wasn't obese my entire life, not until adulthood really. Maybe its because I've been there, done that, that I know the grass really isn't greener in a mental state. I mean sure, I was more active and felt better, but it didn't make me happy being slender. Not like I am happy being fat, just my weight didn't effect my mood all that much.

Anyways, after reading that article, it suddenly has me curious how many people either had the thought that weight loss would make you a happier person or are currently struggling with it. I can't speak from experience, but that must be a lot on your mind. I mean, weight loss is hard enough, what with the emotional eating, the constant temptation, the sudden urges, but to have this thrown in on top. Wow. My heart breaks for those folks.

I want to hear your take. I want to hear how it effects or effected you and more importantly, how you overcame it or are overcoming it. I'm sure it would be eye opening, but more importantly, hope for those who may not really have that hope right now.

Lots of to anyone who is going through this right now...it can't be easy.
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:

Last edited by zoesmom : 03-20-2013 at 05:29 PM.
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 05:45 PM   #2
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,893

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

15 years ago when I was dropping weight, I was mainly doing it because I thought my marriage was in trouble. I thought if I looked better, the relationship would be better. And it did improve for a wee bit, but our problems were still our problems. It wasn't my fatness that was the CAUSE of the problems. And I think realizing that my weight wasn't going to solve the rut we were in was one of the excuses I used to stop the weight loss effort and to gain it back plus tons more.

Now, I'm not thin and probably never will be. I'm OK with that. I don't need to to be runway model skinny to be happy and healthy. I just want to be fit and active and at a weight that I feel I can maintain with moderate ease.

But, am I happier thinner than heavier? Heck yes! i'm a lot happier! I feel less judged. I feel more energetic. I feel alive! I smile more, I play more. I just feel better - period and it's mostly because I'm healthier. A lot of it is the weight loss, but a lot of it is the increased fitness too.

I hated that I wore my troubles on my body. I hated that I was able to overcome so much from my childhood, but I had this baggage of obesity as a souvenir. By overcoming the obesity, I feel I have tackled the last of the demons from my youth... but to take off the weight and KEEEP it off, I had to resolve all those issues that led me to getting obese in the first place so that the only work yet to be done was the actual weight loss - not all the self-healing along with it.
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 06:06 PM   #3
Ted's Pants!
 
BananaMontana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ft. Sill, OK
Posts: 124

S/C/G: 223/223/150

Height: 5'5"

Default

I want to lose weight because I think it will make me happier, I'll be honest. 3 short years ago I was 40 pounds lighter than I am now. And I was happy with myself and I had energy and I wasn't embarrassed to go out. My weight gain has made me shy and uncomfortable (physically and emotionally uncomfortable!). I know that when I lose weight I will feel healthier and better and less ashamed of my body. So, yeah, I think weight loss will make me happier. But that's just me. Some people weight isn't the thing making them unhappy. If that's not the root of your problems then losing weight won't change or fix anything.
BananaMontana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 06:45 PM   #4
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 28

S/C/G: 235/209/175

Height: 5'8"

Default

I think this is true of a lot of things. "Once I have more money, then I'll be happy." "Once I have a boyfriend/husband/girlfriend, my life will be great!" That's not how life works.

I've been a happy poor girl and a happy girl with a little money. Richer is better but not required! And I'm honestly no less happy now than I was at an ideal weight. I'm still working to get back there, but I don't expect it to significantly change my level of happiness. Life is beautiful now. Thinner thighs will only be a cherry on top.
angelarm is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 07:25 PM   #5
Trying for normal
 
AlmostMe's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: London
Posts: 593

S/C/G: 253/ticker/175

Height: 5'5"

Default

I'm not even really aiming to be super skinny. I'm aiming to be healthy and fit and yes, dang it, more physically attractive. I also want to be in control of my food - not it being in control of me.
__________________


Lose 25lbs by 15 April (10 Mar)
Get to 100 kg (220) by 1 May (7 Apr)
Be 205 by race day - 14 July
One-derland by 1 Sept
AlmostMe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 08:28 PM   #6
Golden
 
Mizzthingaling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 520

S/C/G: Ticker

Height: 5'4

Default

I read that story today too and I disconnected right from the start. I don't hate myself or my fatness. Not everyone who is fat holds their head down or feel less than others. I don't think being skinny will make me happier with myself, but I will be healthier and able to do more. Maybe that translates to more enjoyment to life, but I'll still be me on the inside. She seems to have a self loathing position no matter what size.
__________________

Mizzthingaling is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 08:35 PM   #7
Back to Basics!
 
ChickieChicks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Posts: 1,037

S/C/G: 187/127/125

Height: 5' 2.5"

Default

I never felt like I would be happier if I lost weight, but I did have expectations about how I would like and feel. My confidence and sex life have greatly improved, and I love it every time I can outrun my kids, etc.

The drawbacks for me, is that I find myself being a little stereotyped now, like "I don't eat." And that because I am thin (and blonde) my IQ must have plummeted. Women see me as less approachable, and men the opposite, much to my dismay.
__________________


GOAL Photos & Story
ChickieChicks is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-20-2013, 09:15 PM   #8
Senior Member
 
BreathingSpace's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Posts: 506

S/C/G: 183/166/135

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by ChickieChicks View Post
And that because I am thin (and blonde) my IQ must have plummeted. Women see me as less approachable, and men the opposite, much to my dismay.
Funny you should say this, I felt a little bit of an epiphany last week when I recognized that, when thin, this is how I felt. I wondered if I put almost an armor of fat on to protect myself from this stereotype.

Anyway, I don't think my life will be awesome and I'll be so much happier when I reach my goal. It will just be EASIER. It's like, I have my certain sets of problems, and being thin will just remove ONE of my many problems.
__________________
"There is simply no way for the scale to accurately measure the most beautiful part of your spirit".

Check out my BLOG here for weight loss woes, yoga and life!

BreathingSpace is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 11:51 AM   #9
Senior Member
 
betsy2013's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington state
Posts: 1,457

S/C/G: 396/360/160

Height: 5'7"

Default

Do I think I'll be happier? Yes, but more from a what-I-can-now-do perspective as opposed to thinking that things that aren't just as I want them will be improved. I actually like myself, I just want a body that enables me to do more things.

And after this last weekend in the hospital and what will probably be a fairly long road to get this fixed, I just want to still be alive at the end of it. Nothing like a serious health scare to put things in perspective!
__________________

REBOOT!

Mini Goals: Move Here Weight (2005): 344, Stop Smoking Weight (1997): 333, Mom Remarried (1990) 313, Twoderville: 299, Move to NC (1989): 280, Closer to 200 than 300: 249, More to Come....
betsy2013 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 12:19 PM   #10
Senior Member
 
zoesmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Gainesville, GA
Posts: 1,118

S/C/G: 293/ticker/170

Height: 5'6"

Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by betsy2013 View Post
Do I think I'll be happier? Yes, but more from a what-I-can-now-do perspective as opposed to thinking that things that aren't just as I want them will be improved. I actually like myself, I just want a body that enables me to do more things.

And after this last weekend in the hospital and what will probably be a fairly long road to get this fixed, I just want to still be alive at the end of it. Nothing like a serious health scare to put things in perspective!
EXACTLY! I think that is where I was coming from. I mean, I am not depressed. My weight does not undo my mental state of mind. Sure, it upsets me as it limits what I can do, but it does not control me. Much like you, a health scare is what sent me spiraling on the weight loss train. Nothing like being in ICU for over a week and fighting for your life for 4 months to put things into perpective. Made all the worst that a three year old was all alone to witness it. Sad state of affairs. Since that time, I have been diagnosed with ARDS on top of my already insanely bad asthma. But HA! Proved them wrong! No longer on an O2 tank and can easily do an hour of cardio now. Only took 7-8 months too. Everything is possible when you put your mind to it.

Anyhow...if I may ask, what happened...and are you okay?
__________________



Stage 1: Mini Goal 1: 265 pounds - complete 1/12/13; Mini Goal 2: 250 pounds - complete 4/17/13; Mini Goal 3: 225 pounds - completed 10/21/13
Stage 2: Moderate Obesity BMI - completed 11/26/13; ONDERLAND; Overweight BMI
Stage 3: work in progress

One for every 10 pounds lost:
zoesmom is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 12:46 PM   #11
Senior Member
 
Garnet2727's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 772

S/C/G: 298/ticker/175

Height: 5'7"

Default

While I'm not under any illusion that losing weight will solve all my problems, I am already much happier. When I was at my heaviest, I was just physically miserable. I was in almost constant pain, hypoglycemic and had no energy. Losing over 70 pounds had made me feel so much better physically that I have trouble relating to that person I was a year ago who couldn't even walk to the end of her driveway.

Having said that, I still have a lot of junk in my attic from being heavy/obese my whole life plus various other traumas and dramas topped off with a diagnosed mental disorder. I'm trying to mindfully examine the junk in my attic and toss out the bad stuff. It's a process. The truth is, though, I'm doing OK. Actually, I'm doing better than just OK.

I don't have the expectation that losing weight will make my life all peaches and cream. But is has, and it will continue to, make it better.
__________________
Garnet2727 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 01:00 PM   #12
Melissa
 
berryblondeboys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 5,893

Height: 5'6.5"

Default

And.... I blogged about it today.
__________________
My journey to a healthier lifestyle blog: http://melissaslife42.blogspot.com/



berryblondeboys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 02:32 PM   #13
Member
 
shannonde94's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Arizona, US
Posts: 37

S/C/G: 245/222/180

Height: 5'9"

Post

I read that article this morning too, and I can't say that I could really identify with what she was going through. I think the woman in that article had bigger issues than her weight (most of us do), and expected them all to go away just because she dropped the pounds. I'm sure there are some people out there that have the same kinds of delusions, but the only thing I expect to improve with my weight loss is my health, confidence, and energy levels. I am fully aware that losing weight is not going to make my life perfect, and I think most other people are as well.
shannonde94 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-21-2013, 02:44 PM   #14
Staying the Same
 
krampus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Troy, NY
Posts: 6,443

S/C/G: 160+/116/this is fine

Height: 5'5

Default

I have yo-yoed a couple times.

I was "never an option" and pretty asexual until I unintentionally went from 165 to 135 in 11th grade. Then suddenly the guy I liked who I asked to prom and said no asked me to his prom, the other girls in my Girl Scout troop noticed the change and pointed it out, and I could wear single digit clothing sizes.

Being visible stuck, and I regained most of the weight slowly throughout college but never regained the "invisible" feelings I had before losing weight the first time. I was a bit chunky but I still attracted male attention and felt attractive or at least not unattractive. I noticed distinctly that going from 160 to <130 the only person who really noticed or cared was me. Nothing changed except my pants size and my personal diet and exercise habits.

I'm maintaining now and while I feel very different at 124 and lifting several times a week than I did at 134 and not lifting, I don't think anyone I know would notice if I gained 10 pounds - and I am totally OKAY with that. I liked the idea of attention better when I was more insecure about my body.
__________________
Push on some more!

http://www.3fatchicks.com/diet-blogs/krampus
krampus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-22-2013, 09:33 AM   #15
Senior Member
 
Palestrina's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 3,770

S/C/G: 215/188/150

Height: 5'4"

Default

I admit, I often think about how my life would be better if I was skinny. Weight and food are only my mind 90% of my waking hours if not 100%. That probably wouldn't stop even if I did lose weight. But I often find myself thinking negative thoughts about my weight like:

- People would take me more seriously if I was a normal weight.
- People would stop telling me that I have a gorgeous face and start telling me that I'm simply gorgeous.
- Going shopping would be fun, not a traumatic event.

Most of all I would stop walking by normal-sized people asking myself "how do they do that??"

Really, all I want out of life is to hate food. More than anything that's all I want.
__________________


"No matter how developed you are in any other area of your life, no matter what you say you believe, no matter how sophisticated or enlightened you think you are, how you eat tells all." - Geneen Roth
Palestrina is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply
Posts by members, moderators and admins are not considered medical advice
and no guarantee is made against accuracy.


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:54 PM.






Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2015, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.3.2