[EZMONEY]

HUMM ~~ Must be something wrong with me again.....I never felt that the "money" dance was tacky . I always found it to be a nice way while dancing to congratulate the bride personally and thank them for thinking that I was special enough to be invited to their wedding. I have never had one count the money I pinned on her. Enjoy your wedding day ~

[hoodj0080]

Perhaps "tacky" was too strong a word; I just don't want my family or friends to feel obligated to pay to dance with me. I should have phrased my concern differently! Thank you EZMONEY

[jillybean720]

Wow, I guess my family and friends are a lot more easygoing than most people. It's generally accepted that people buy gifts for weddings whether you say anything about it in the invitation or not. I have been invited to weddings and had the gift registry info included in the invite, and NEVER did I think it was tacky. Rather, I found it extremely helpful since I have friends who live very far away, and I'm not exactly buddy-buddy with their parents or soon-to-be in-laws

When my sister asked me about this, I told her to include the registry info in the invites. I would say about half of their guest list (at least) is from out of town since she grew up in CT, he grew up in NY/NJ, he has family in Asia, and they both now live in Va Beach. Because of how spread out we all are, we are also not doing a bridal shower (BTW, I always understood that the Maid of Honor was to give the shower regardless of whether she happened to be a friend or a relative).

Also, I have been to weddings with the "dollar dance." It's actually a lot of fun, and no one is REQUIRED to participate. If you feel obligated (which you never should), you can just give a buck or 2...no one will be keeping track of who gives how much. I was Maid of Honor, so I was collecting the money for the bride, and an uncle gave $50 for the dance--now tell me a newly-married couple can't use that kind of generosity and support!

I don't know--I guess in my opinion, it's the couple's wedding, so they should be able to do things however they want. Things that just plain make good common sense shouldn't be considered tacky

ADDING: Just before I hit submit on this post, a coworker came into my cube to chat, and I brought the topic up with her, and she made some very valid points.

1. Originally, gift registries were only used for things like fine China, crystal, and silver, not necessarily everyday items like today. This is why it was often considered tacky to include them in the invites--the gifts on the registry were more expensive and, therefore, "asking" for them in such a way was socially frowned upon. However, I now often see things like bed sheets, bath towels, small kitchen appaliances, and such that most people can afford, so I think the etiquette or the matter has not progressed/changed to catch up with the idea behind the registry (and this is probably also why older women feel it is such bad etiquette whereas I, at 23, don't think it's such a bad idea).
2. Things like the "dollar dance" (or whatever you call it) may seem to tacky to some, yet in some areas, it is simply tradition. My coworker being from the South said she would NEVER do that at a wedding and was even a little put off by it when she attended a wedding where this took place. On the other hand, I grew up in CT, and I think I have been to more weddings that DID include this dance than those that did not. My coworkers also said that the wedding she attended where they did it was in PA, so maybe it is more of a Northeastern regional area tradition.