[DeeJae37]

Well I can surely say one thing, I'm glad I'm not the only one who shares this problem, I've really never had the "drive" in my entire life, even when I was a mere 118 lbs. It does effect my marriage, and I don't deny him, but my interest is just not there, like one of the other ladies said, it's become nothing but a chore, and in my case a much dreaded chore. What are we to do????

[jules1216]

Originally Posted by BerkshireGrl

Jules, yes, I say appreciate what you've got!
But there ain't no shame in the little "extras" I think!

I will appreciate him. You know there were times when my sex drive was off the wall and his wasn't that I wish I would have had a little something extra....

[DEZINERJEN]

Hello, Im new to 3fc, but love it so far! I recently joined WW and this is the first time I have actually really tried hard to lose weight. I'm hoping to not only looking better in smaller clothes, but feel sexier in no clothes. My sex drive is almost zero and I think a big part of it comes from the fact that I don't think of myself as being sexy, even in sexy clothes. The biggest problem is that I have one of those boyfriends who "loves me just the way I am." Oh gag me!

[tearjerker]

okay, I've been dealing with this for some time. Here is my situation.

I feel so guilty...fat...disgusting...and ugly all rolled up into one. New Year's eve was the last time that we attempted anything. I initiated (which it seems like I always do, and then he complains that I never do ) I don't have any lingere that fit me at this weight right now, so I tried to find the sexiest pair of underwear I own and put that on. Not to be too gross but my fat rolls actually HID the underwear! uke: so, I went for the tummy tammer underwear...it's black and kind of looks sexy...it was so tight that we had to both fight to get it off! I was sooo embarased, and by the time we began I had no more interest...he has very little interest too, and I don't know why. He used to want me a lot more, and I don't know if he just became complacent in the act since I never wanted it for awhile, and now that I try to make an effort it's hard for him to break the mold

now, for the guilty part. I married my husband not for what he could do in bed, but for the fact that he makes me feel loved (most of the time). I was and, admittedly, still healing from a relationship that I need to get over, somehow. I was TOTALLY in love with this man, and, in bed, he did rock my world. Very rarely did I never have an orgasm with him (I wish I could say the same with my dh). But, he was an arrogant prick and decided that after two years of dating when all of our friends started pushing him to propose, he decides he doesn't "love me". I was absolutely devistated. And, a part of me still is. I love my husband totally, would never cheat, and I really really want that kind of sexual relationship with him. That's where the guilt comes in. I guess I want him to be someone or something he is not. Whenever I start thinking of my ex I try to remind myself what a jerk he was in other areas. Sometimes it helps. sometimes it doesn't.

I fantasize about a fantastic sex life with my husband. But whenever I attempt to bring that fantasy to life, 90% of the time something goes wrong. Either I can't get him in the mood...or I'm too tired, to more directly related things such as we get started but either he goes limp or I dry out prematurely. Something is definately wrong.

[4myloves]

Tammie, girl, I feel for you and totally empathize. I, too, married my DH more because of his love for me rather than mine for him. I DO love him, but not that all-consuming LUST/LOVE that I've had with other men. But I know that he'll be with me in the long run, no matter how I look (and no matter how bithy I am ). Oddly enough, though, he is the only man I've ever been able to orgasm with. I guess it's because I do know that he loves me no matter what.....?

About the other issue--I have zero sex drive unless I am taking my Lexapro. I know that's exactly opposite of most people, but that's the way it is for me. When I'm on the meds I practically vibrate mySELF!!