Sounds likeyour hubby & mine are cut from the same cloth! He USED
to work for a family member of mine. She promised him a decent wage, a place to store his tools (we live in a small apt.) and gas $ to & from her place. That lasted for about a month & a half.
When he'd try to talk to her about it, she'd claim that she had this bill or this crisis. Then we'd see her with a new expensive computer, gaming system or whatever. He'd ask her once more about where his pay was & then she had the nerve to &itch about his work! Little did we know that H could've died right then & there doing work for her
that she wasn't paying for!!! (He was diagnosed with a heart condition right around Halloween)
She got mad. Told us both off. Demanded we remove any & all things we had stored at her place immediately
. I was crushed. I went from having a close friend in her to having nothing! But that's okay...my hubby is still with me. He's getting the medications & help he needs.
Personally, you need to have a heart to heart with hubby. Let him know that you'll be with him regardless of what happens, but you'd rather he be as healthy as he can be. He needs to take care of himself, because you CANNOT do it for him! You can help him, encourage him...but in the end, it is up to him.
Be blunt to him about his "friend". His friend is TOXIC...plain & simple. A TRUE REAL friend would never, ever ask you to jeopardize you health or well-being. If his friend of incapapable of running his business, so be it. Not everyone is meant to run a business, especially if they can't remain sober during business hours!
Now, for your mother's snarky comment...and you have to admit that it was a snarky comment...about the Nook. My family, primarially my siblings, think I could've done "better" in choosing a mate. I basically told them to go pound sand! Why? Because I DO NOT judge their choice for their mate! And some of them have been married 3 or 4 TIMES!!! We love who we love because of who they are not what they give us.
If this is a habit of hers to run your significant other down...maybe you need to gently let her know that if she can't say something nice, say nothing.
Yes, even "joking around" is being mean. Anything mean, isn't appreciated nor acceptable when it comes to talking about someone's spouse or children!
Um....I'll climb down off my soapbox now...
BTW: I know about that crying & whimpering in their sleep. It's not good for them (the hubbys) nor us. They don't sleep well because they are hurting & we KNOW IT! Be there, done that...won't tolerate it! My hubby's health is second only to mine!