[bandit2]

I am separated & have been dating someone for 15 months.
Any thoughts on how far along this relationship should be?

Thanks for any advice.

[meembo]

My advice for what it's worth:
It should be as far along as what you are comfortable with.

Elaine

[bandit2]

Meembo - I agree, but there should be some kind of guidelines.

He has mentioned for me & my daughter to move in. Sounds great but that would mean me renting my house, etc.
Whatever happened to "going steady" type of thing. What do other adults do?

I am really happy with him, but don't do big changes very well.

This is really the first time I have been on my own but right now we are juggling 2 houses & I also have a trailer that will be opening soon. Last summer we had 3 places on the go at once.

Thanks for listening.

[meembo]

Hehehe, I wish life did come with guidelines, you'll just have to follow your own gut instinct! Take some quiet time all by yourself and figure out what you really want.

If you think you'd like, why not try it for the summer to see how it goes. You might not want to rent out your house until you know you and your daughter will be comfortable being there all the time, but by the end of summer you would know. If you're happy, rent out you house then. At least if you moved in with him (temporarily), you'll be able to leave when and if you want.

What does your daughter think about it? If she'll be happy, you have a good chance of it working out, but if she's against it, I would probably wait a while longer.

All in all, you'll figure out what you need to do, I have faith in you!
Just go as fast or slow as you want, if he loves you he wont push or leave!!

Hang in there!

Elaine

[bandit2]

Elaine - thanks for the great advice. I think keeping my house for over the summer (even if it is empty most of the time) is a great idea. My daughter is fine with this move - they get along great and last summer she worked in his business, which is out of his home so it would be handy for her. It's a good idea to have that "escape place" if I need it.

Thanks again.

[lizzard_h]

I have to add my two cents in since you asked...

First off, did you say you are only separated?? Why are you not divorced? Especially if you've been seeing someone else for 15 months? Since there is a child involved I think you should be very careful. Remember...you are setting an example.

Liz

[KimmyKat63]

I have to say that I agree with lizzard here. I was in the same situation once, actually living with one man while still married to the other one (no children at the time though) and it's just *weird*. I think we all want to have a "sure thing" before we let go of the other one, but it's SO much nicer to be FREE of any constraints if it indeed is a "sure thing". Rent out your house for a few months and use the money to get a D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

[bandit2]

Liz & Kimmy:

Thanks for the advice - deep down I know you are right, but this has been such a big change for me and am trying to get my budget under control before taking on more expenses. But you are right about getting some income for renting my house. I think once I make the move out of that house I will be able to think more clearly and start detaching myself from everything linked to it.

Thanks again.