Yes! I'm 21 and live at home with my parents. Though my mom contributed to my bad eating habits as a child, it was mostly my dad. He wasn't a "food pusher" with my older siblings, but this changed when my twin brother and I were born. My brother is his only son and he spoiled him. I was just along for the ride. I've never had a good relationship with my father, but because my brother and I are twins, whenever he got something, I got something.
I've been overweight since I was about 7 and health/fitness was never emphasized in our home. We always got to eat whatever we wanted, though my mother made us eat vegetables occassionally. Food was always at the center of celebrations and was used as a treat (we looked forward to eating McDonald's every Friday!).
When we were teens, my father started commenting on our weight and eating habits. He would say things like, "You're gonna eat THAT?!"; and I'm just thinking, "Umm...yeah, I'm gonna eat THAT. THAT was certainly okay for us to eat when you were feeding it to us as 7-year-olds. It's your fault I crave THAT anyway." I wish he would have thought and done something about our bad eating habits when we were children - when he was the one who was in control of our weight and eating habits; don't criticize us now that, as young adults, we're the ones who have to struggle with weight issues and are responsible for correcting our eating habits ourselves. The funny thing about it is that after he criticized us, the next day he'd sometimes cook something like a whole package of chicken and tell us, "Eat as much as you want!" A whole package of juicy chicken to ourselves. Of course, being obese kids, we didn't have the willpower to turn that down!
My father was recently severely disabled from a stroke (the result of his own bad eating habits; he thought he was okay because he wasn't overweight), so he can't exert that influence over us anymore, but it still feels like I'm fighting a losing battle trying to lose weight while I'm living here because my mother still purchases the same types of food, and though I control what I eat, temptation is all around me. Since I've been overweight since I was a child (the stage at which the size of your "fat cells" is determined), it is naturally more difficult for me to lose and keep weight off because my "fat cells" are permanently enlarged and my body will always want to gorge itself. I love my mother to death, but I honestly can't wait to move out because I will control what comes in and out of my home, so losing weight/keeping it off won't be nearly as much of a struggle.
My Grandmother is completely old world and "eat, eat, eat" would always come out of her mouth.
My mother was the opposite. She had her own eating/body issues (though then she never hit higher than 120, 9months preg). She would buy all sorts of junk then tell me I couldn't eat it bc I'd get fat. Even when I was hungry. Then don't buy it. Woulda been easier. Really set me up for hiding/binging food later on. Thanks mom.
As a mom now, I don't push. I let the kids have a treat here and there, and I do want them to finish their dinner as much as possible bc if they don't, less than an hr later they want a snack. I never tell them they can't have something outright unless it's candy, especially when we have it in the house. i just steer them to better choices
My mom kind of is. She had her own food issues and had lost a lot of weight through WLS years ago, and now can't understand why I struggle with my weight, which is super frustrating. She still exhibits some of what I'd call "fatty brain syndrome," and I'm absolutely sure I get some of my food habits from her modeling, she just can't act on it anymore. I.e. she'll fill her plate at brunch and be able to eat two bites, will over order on everything, etc.
I cannot remember having any issues with "food pushing" growing up, but definitely since I moved out (starting in college) she would ask me ahead of time what food I'd want, what she should make, where we should go out to dinner, always have the house full of food (although this has gotten better since her surgery). In grad school she would send me home with enough leftovers to last me a week (damn, do I miss that, ) To this day, it's tough for me to get "back on track" after visiting home- and now that I'm a plane ride away, those visits are upwards of a week, which makes it even more challenging.
That said, she brings up my weight. Often. She always has. As I've gotten older, it's bothered me less.
My mother would always say "finish your food". I think she did that because that is what her mother did.
I don't think they were super poor, but my mom was the youngest of 3, in a single parent home. My Mem
worked hard to feed her 3 kids. My uncle back in the day was more muscular than fat, but now days he is
very obese. As children my mom and her sister were on the chubbier side. But I think my Mem saw that as
they were not going hungry. So it was a good thing in her mind I guess.
My mother tried to so good for us, baked a lot of our food. Hardly ever any cakes, or cookies, but we HAD
to have some sort of sweets in the house for my mom and her diabetes. If her sugar went down she would
have a little snack like one of those Little Debbie cakes. Now she knows better and will drink OJ, but us kids
still have the Little Debbie fever.
The usual veggie on our dinner plate was broccoli, sometimes carrots and corn. My mom did not like peas,
green beans, or too much else so she never cooked them. And we always had issues with portion control.
Heaping seconds were always allowed, and even when my brother wanted thirds he would get them. He is
now very obese.
I do not have kids now, but I hope to think *if* I ever have children that I will make good choices as far as
showing them a healthy lifestyle and eating habits.
My mom cooks huge meals almost every night (most of the side-dishes come from cans/boxes, though). A typical meal in my parents' house would be fried chicken, cornbread, mashed potatoes, canned green beans, canned nibblet corn, macaroni and cheese, and sweet tea. Unless it was in the summer, and they had gardened, the only veggies we usually got were out of cans or beans. Oh, and she had to have cornbread for every meal, even if said meal is pasta.
She wasn't really a food-pusher, though sometimes, she would seem hurt if I didn't want to eat. It was my dad who pushed food on me when I was a picky little girl (like disgusting meat-loaf with mushroom soap ::gag:, but then started portioning the foods I did like as I got old and fatter (pizza, burgers, desserts). He also would make comments about how if I kept eating I'd have a third chin, be too big to come through the front door. ect. I also kind of had an eating curfew too.
But when my brother came into the picture, it's way different. He can eat as much junk as he wants, whenever he wants, and never has to touch a single vegetable if he doesn't want to. My parents even scold me a bit when I try to get my brother to have something healthy. "He doesn't have to eat it if he doesn't want to!" they'll say.
Bless my mom's heart. She tried. She struggled to stay thin her whole life (and still does) and so did her mother but their ideas about food were just so jacked up. They thought they were doing the right thing but here I am...
I don't "blame" my mom, I'm an adult and have been on my own for quite some time now but those ideas you pick up as a kid really stay with you. It's why I'm so (secretly) neurotic about what food we have in our house and how my daughter hears me talk about myself.
My mom didn't have enough money to provide anything but dinner. If I wanted lunch in school, I had to pack a PB&J (if we had the ingredients) or pay for it myself. Breakfast was the same. Because of that, I went through high school eating 2 BIG meals a day, usually one after I got home from school (often whatever I could scrounge up) and a BIG dinner. Breakfast was coffee, lunch was nothing, dinner was massive.
Ugh. Makes me sick just thinking about it. I remember how hungry I used to be, always feeling sick & faint, and that my friends would often give me money on days that I had to go to work right after school.
College is what made me gain the weight though. That & BC & being lazy & breaking a limb.
) To this day, it's tough for me to get "back on track" after visiting home- and now that I'm a plane ride away, those visits are upwards of a week, which makes it even more challenging.
