[TurboLeda]

Hello fantastic ladies of 3FC,

Because I am so aware of you all being warm, compassionate, healing women (and men), I desperately seek your guidance and kind words in something I've been struggling with for a long, long time....

I'm 25, and recently broke it off with my ex due to my crippling commitment and anxiety issues. Since we started off as best friends, we have decided to continue a strict friendship, with no more dating/relationship drama. He has been the kindest, most patient person any girl could ask for. However, I know I've hurt him so deeply with my many ups and downs (for which I began seeing a therapist this month).

Well, can someone please guide me on how to deal with the crippling daily anxiety I feel from this new "change"? Is it possible, that with time, I can see past all the pain I have caused him and just be a GOOD, true friend? Every time I see him, all I can think is how horrible I have been to have caused him so much heartbreak - though he assures me every time we hang out that he is FINE and tries to lift my spirits with our usual humor.

Ladies, is it a realistic goal that my anxiety about this new situation will ease, and I can have a healthy friendship with him without the guilt in my chest? Or am I being too wishful in thinking it will happen?

Does time truly heal all wounds.... or does it just seem to be ETERNAL, because I am only 25?


thank you so much.


desperately calling out for help,
L

[nelie]

Sometimes you can be friends with someone you've dated, sometimes you can't be. You could try but it may be best to try to distance yourself for a while? You may need to have some of the emotional wounds heal which does take time.

[schwabee]

i have seen some pretty messed up stuff happen when exs remain friends...but that could just be my friends....they are psychos. but it usually starts out good and then starts going down hill slowly and out of no where there is a cliff that you go flying off of.

heh...so yeah... :/