I am just coming to terms with my insane jealousy of people that are in great shape. Even more specifically, women that are in great shape. I have a skin condition that I am attempting to clear up with a few minutes of exposure to a tanning bed. I went to purchase a package for tanning and look at the facilities. The girl that helped me looked like a Greek goddess. Seriously, she was flawless. I don't think I listened to a word she said because I was trying to figure out how she had such perfect arms, and calves, without looking like a freak. It is very motivating to see someone in such great shape, but feeling jealous is new to me. I do not like these feelings at all. Does anyone else struggle with negative feelings like this?
I remember once in college, I was on a campus bus and there was a girl standing (with her back to me) who had stringy, ratty hair, but this AMAZING body. I was watching her from behind and I--struggling with my weight at the time, but somehow always blessed with STUNNING hair--felt jealous.
I asked myself, "Would I trade my gorgeous hair for that gorgeous body?"
And I came up with YES, because I could always throw money at a problem of "bad hair" and probably come up with something I could live with, but I had always struggled with loving my body.
But then she turned around at some point and I saw her face, which was, well, let's just say, not at all attractive. Not at all.
And I said, "Girl, you'd better NEVER make a deal to trade ONE THING for ONE THING when you're feeling jealous of another's body (or anything else), because maybe you'd also have to take another THING you would never want in a trade."
Point is, exactly as the other poster in this thread has said, you can BET that gorgeous-bodied "flawless" woman would've traded for something you have. No way to know WHAT... but know that it's true. Everyone sees life through the lens they have firmly in place. And that's the one through which someone has a better something than we do. (And if everyone is seeing things that way, you can bet that includes the one you see as "flawless.")
So, count your blessings for the good stuff you've got.
Heck, maybe the goods you have are goods you couldn't GET with work, discipline, and patience (which are all things you CAN use to get a better, more fit body). How nice that what you covet is something you can actually attain! Some people aren't so lucky.
Yes, everyday, there is this VERY PRETTY GIRL I see EVERYDAY, and I am sooo jelous about it! I just try not to think about it and be greatful for what I have, it doesn't always work though!
I always thought that people who have "perfect" bodies don't have to work for them but then I read an article in a fitness magazine that has Daisy Fuentes on the cover and she was talking about her diet and exercise routine that she had been following prior to the shoot for the cover of the magazine, and it finally hit me...
THOSE GIRLS HAVE TO WORK FOR THEIR BODIES!
They have to diet and exercise just like me to keep up with themselves. Huh. I think I was jealous of the idea that they didn't have to work for the bodies they had and not their actual bodies. Now, every time I see a gal with a great physique, I think about how hard she must be working!
I have a serious jealousy problem, and it was much worse in college. I was constantly around girls with slim athletic bodies on the track team, I mean I could literally bench these girls. What used to drive me crazy is when they would complain about how fat they are. Used to always make me think, "what does that make me?" No matter how big you are, it is important to be confident in your body, that is part of what makes you beautiful. I'm not saying I have totally grasped that concept, but I know it is true. I'm ugliest when I'm frowning and looking down at the ground, I can see that in pictures. And I'm rambling AGAIN! Why do I keep doing that tonight?!
Thank you! First, it feels great to know I am not the only person that looks at other people. It does motivate me to want to be healthier but getting jealous is so NEW! All of your points are excellent, and things I had never even considered. I never thought about someone is always jealous of someone else. Even me. That is true! And I have so many qualities that I would NEVER trade for a perfect body, and how true is it that I CAN HAVE AN AMAZING BODY! That is what I am working for, and I should use these negative feelings as motivation to work harder. There is so much room for improvement in my lifestyle and exercise routine. I should be motivated by these women, not jealous. My husband always tells me I am so beautiful when I smile, and I can bet I am not smiling when I was looking at that girl! That is not the first impression, or any impression that I want to leave with another person. I must admit that I never knew that I thought these beautiful women with fit bodies didn't work for them. But since Kara pointed it out, it is the truth. I just assumed that I am overweight just because I am, and that they are fit, just because that is the way they are. This is so far from the truth! I know how hard I work to lose just a little weight, imagine how hard women must work to achieve a fit body and then to maintain it. Especially as you get older, it becomes more difficult. I should be inspired, motivated, and respectful. I will work on it, but I think deep down I will always be a little envious!
I remember one time when i was feeling especially down and my co-workers told me:
I would give anything to have the body that you have. Other women would kill to have curves in the places that you have.
After that I seriously had to reconsider how I saw myself. Yes I am not the most thinnest but I have things to be proud of.
I don't hesitate to give someone a compliment on how fit/athletic/fabulous they look in my eyes. I also don't hesitate to ask them how they stay fit/athletic/fabulous! Maybe I can learn something I can put to use.
This might be for a fit body, a hair style, their outfit, shoes, makeup, etc.
I used to be very jealous of people - how they looked, their hair, how well they dressed (not really what they had but how they put it all together, ya know).
But, I am pushing 40 now and finally realized that my jealousy was only affecting ME...and not in a good way. So, I made myself get over it and I truly try to enjoy people where they are with what they got!
btw, that includes myself. I couldn't be on this healthy way of living if I didn't learn to love myself where I was first. (I love it a little more being down 30 pounds, though! )
TechGirl I got that problem too, altho I try not to! When I see a chick that I wish I had her body, sometimes I have to stop myself from staring! Especially in the tummy, butt & thighs area! And then I worry someone might of saw me looking and think I'm a lesbian! Not that I am a homophobe, but it's kinda ackward when I have to conciously avoid staring at some girls' waist just because I'm so envious! :P Sooo, your definitely not alone!
BTW, is that a Mini Schnauzer puppy? I got 3 of them, they're crazy but adorable! Whatever the pup is it is cute!
Last edited by Sun_Flower2; 03-05-2008 at 01:11 AM.
Reason: accidentally hit enter before I was done...oops
In losing weight, we are striving to be healthier, better people. This means coming to terms with emotions like jealousy. It's a poisonous trait we should all strive to eliminate.
Jealousy is extremely poisonous, but sometimes I just can't help it. My ex-boyfriend's ex-girlfriend is very thin, she's a ballet dancer and all, and, even if I wasn't jealous of her looking like a stick figure, I was jealous of the fact that she was thin, healthy and fit. One day, she told me that she'd give all the money in the world to have my brain.
I seriously think that we should start by loving what we have and then trying to change what he don't love, not try to change and trade everything and think it'll be for the better.
Very good thread! I actually used to struggle with this my self when I was blaming the world for my weight gain and unhealthy lifestyle. I have really really thin friends who I adore but I was resenting the fact that they werent working for it and it seemed I was the only one gaining weight. When I decided to lose weight for me and as the weight started to fall off my feelings changed. I don't feel insecure about going into dressing rooms with them or changing around them becuase they are so supportive of the fact I am on a healthy road now. In all actuality they actually told me they are jealous of the fact that I am so ambitious and I work out everyday? It's weird how we percieve ourselves and how others perceive us. Everyone will always wish that they had "that girls legs, or that girls hair, butt, or tummy" but its what you work for and develop in yourself is what makes you "flawless".
The Skinny Girl at the Salon
It is very motivating to see someone in such great shape, but feeling jealous is new to me. I do not like these feelings at all. Does anyone else struggle with negative feelings like this? 
It does motivate me to want to be healthier but getting jealous is so NEW! All of your points are excellent, and things I had never even considered. I never thought about someone is always jealous of someone else. Even me. That is true! And I have so many qualities that I would NEVER trade for a perfect body, and how true is it that I CAN HAVE AN AMAZING BODY! That is what I am working for, and I should use these negative feelings as motivation to work harder. There is so much room for improvement in my lifestyle and exercise routine. I should be motivated by these women, not jealous. My husband always tells me I am so beautiful when I smile, and I can bet I am not smiling when I was looking at that girl! That is not the first impression, or any impression that I want to leave with another person. I must admit that I never knew that I thought these beautiful women with fit bodies didn't work for them. But since Kara pointed it out, it is the truth. I just assumed that I am overweight just because I am, and that they are fit, just because that is the way they are. This is so far from the truth! I know how hard I work to lose just a little weight, imagine how hard women must work to achieve a fit body and then to maintain it. Especially as you get older, it becomes more difficult. I should be inspired, motivated, and respectful. I will work on it, but I think deep down I will always be a little envious! 
