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My Birthday is already ruined!!!

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Old 09-08-2007, 03:59 PM   #1
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Default My Birthday is already ruined!!!

Im just so upset right now, in tears.
My birthday is tomm. And I got tickets for the Dallas Cowboy game. Which I had to pay for, not only mine but my mothers. I got payed $300 this friday because I didnt work alot this week. My mother picked up my check, gave me $90 of my own money, took $100 to buy the tickets, and wont give me the other $100. OF MY OWN MONEY. I wanted to go buy some outfits and get a mani and pedi. But NO!! She wont give me my money for my own birthday. Thi upset me soo much. Its my money!!! I wanted to go do something today since I cant really do anythiing tomm. because I have to work early monday, and since Im going to the game I already know Ill be extra tired monday.

So I told her to give me back the tickets I bought, and that im selling them so I can go out tonight and have some money to buy me a few things. So she calls me a miserable person. And alot of other nasty stuf. She telling me she had nice things planned for tomm. But I ruined it. She telling me even if I dont sell the tickets shes still not going with me to the game because im a misrable person. She had a very nice birthday. But no, of course Im not going to. this just makes me so upset. Its my birthday for gosh sake. How are you going to do this to me??? She constantly tells me I have no one. Im so tired of being treated like dirt and keep getting remeinded how shes all I have. She just throws it in my face all the time. all I wanted was a nice birthday. Quess that wont happen.
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Old 09-08-2007, 04:05 PM   #2
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Uhh, Stacie - this makes no sense. Why is your mother 'cashing' YOUR paycheck? Why didn't you get your OWN paycheck - and did you ask your mother why she's holding your pay? Do you owe her money? Is she using it FOR your birthday?

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but without more info, there's not a lot anyone can do to suggest help.

Take a deep breath, calm down, and tell us why this has happened.

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Old 09-08-2007, 04:17 PM   #3
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Wow. I see a miserable person in this scenario, and it ISN'T you!!!! IT sounds like she wants you to only have her. Sometimes miserable people want others to wallow with them. I think you need to make a few new friends or reconnect with some old ones and build a new support system.

Oh, and make sure you don't let her touch your paycheck in the future. It's your money and taking it from you without your consent is theft. Even if it's your mom.

Birthdays are often a great time to reevaluate your life and make adjustments. Instead of letting this ruin your day, use it as a catalyst to make some positive changes for yourself. You deserve it! I hope you find a way to make this a good birthday so, from one of your many cyber-friends at 3FC, I want to wish you a...

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Old 09-08-2007, 04:33 PM   #4
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I'm probably going to echo Heather's comment here, but yeah why is your mom cashing your check? I don't know how old you are, so this is hard to deal with here. Is she making you take money out of your check and put it into savings every week? Do you pay rent or owe her money? Or did she just keep it for herself for no apparent reason???? If that is the case, that is pretty pathetic. I'd open my own checking account if I were you!

PS: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Old 09-08-2007, 04:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HeatherAngel View Post
Uhh, Stacie - this makes no sense. Why is your mother 'cashing' YOUR paycheck? Why didn't you get your OWN paycheck - and did you ask your mother why she's holding your pay? Do you owe her money? Is she using it FOR your birthday?

I'm sorry you're having a bad day, but without more info, there's not a lot anyone can do to suggest help.

Take a deep breath, calm down, and tell us why this has happened.

Heather

The place I pick up my check from closing at 5, and I work about an hour away and I dont get off till 5. Uusally I leave around 3:45 from work, but this Friday I couldnt leave so I told them that I authorized her to pick up my check. I owe her about $400, but she sayed that I didnt have to pay her this week because it was my birthday.
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Old 09-08-2007, 05:00 PM   #6
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Now stacie, it sounds like this really sucks, I can't deny it... but listen hon you don't have to EAT because of it! I hope you won't turn to food because you're hurt and angry.

Did you ask your mom why she is keeping the $100 and doesn't want to give it to you? What did she say? Is it because you owe her the money?

Don't give up the game... let it blow over for now... tell your mom you both can still go to the game... and you can work out the $100 after that. I know you're mad right now and so is she, but keep taking those deep breaths.

Also, how old are you, stacie? That is, are you a minor or are you just living with your mother for mutual convenience?

Hang in there... take it easy... breathe...

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Old 09-08-2007, 05:01 PM   #7
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omg your MOTHER!! I cant believe this! you need a big hug
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Old 09-08-2007, 06:03 PM   #8
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Old 09-08-2007, 08:02 PM   #9
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My 20 birthday is tomm. I still live here because I cant afford to live on my own yet, with me working a full time job and going to school full time. Im not here that much, and it doesnt make much sense to move out now.
I havent turned to food. I havent eaten all day. Except I did go to burger king and get a 4 piece nugget, and a small onion ring. But that cant do to much damage because it was the only thing Ive eaten all day.
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Old 09-08-2007, 08:17 PM   #10
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Sorry about your check STACIE but (for tomorrow)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

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Old 09-08-2007, 09:18 PM   #11
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UPDATE***
My mother just called and told me "Happy 20th B*tch"

I promise Im fed up with this
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Old 09-08-2007, 10:00 PM   #12
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Your mom sounds less mature than you do. She'll be sorry that she said that in a moment of anger. I'm sorry about your troubles, Stacie. I hope you can still go to that game!

Happy 20th! Hang in there! Things will get better--let go of all this craziness and be glad you're alive.

Jay
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Old 09-08-2007, 10:17 PM   #13
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This is a horrible situation. I don't know you or your mother, or what you each said to each other, so I'm not even going to try to decide which of you is more at fault than the other. That really doesn't matter all that much anyway, since the damage is being done to you both.

I know my mother and I said some horrendous things to each other over the years, as she and her mother also did. In fact, I remember some pretty insane three way aguments as well (though usually we made up just as quickly). Since your situation hasn't been resolved yet, maybe there are some very serious issues here between you both, or maybe you are both incredibly stubborn and neither of you are willing to back down when confronted, or admit you are wrong in any way.

It's your birthday, and your Mom treated you in a way that left you feeling disrespected. You admit that you owe her $400, and regardless of how long you have owed it to her, or whether she said you could pay it back later, this means neither of you are blameless. It sounds like you both said nasty things, both had justifiably hurt feelings, and both have unrealistic and unmet expectations of each other. All I can advise reasonably, is that you live a more independent life, and seek counseling with or without your mother. An objective third party, really can help you make changes in your life that will allow you to be strong, independent, and happy.
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Old 09-08-2007, 10:25 PM   #14
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Let me know if you want someone to commiserate, or if you a real reaction. If you don't have to live with her, I suggest getting a roommate yesterday. If she has a history of treating you like crap, why are you surprised by these recent actions? There are crappy people in the world, and sometimes they are your parents.

I suggest you tell her she can have all 300 bucks if they are that important to her, and that you will be celebrating with your friends and without her. Generally, if someone throws a specific dig your way, they are talking about THEIR OWN fear.

Now, taking this away from her treatment of you and the fact that is your birthday, you are out of high school and living with your mom. Do you pay rent or utilities or groceries? She may consider herself deserving of some money but has a poor way of delivering the message, especially if you already owe her.

Do your friends have a places where you could couch surf for a bit? I got a friend of mine out of a similar situation years ago. We moved her out while her mom was at work and she stayed with me until she could find other arrangements.

Last edited by swiminky : 09-08-2007 at 10:31 PM.
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Old 09-08-2007, 10:37 PM   #15
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I'm sorry hon but I would honestly suggest that you look at an apartment. Check around at your school.....if theres a newspaper....cause honestly I don't think that it is worth it. If you have to cut back for a little while in the long run it would make all the different just to get out of that atmosphere. Usually if you share an apartment it's not that much. Right now I only pay 250 a month. You just have to weigh your options.....would you rather live in a negative environment like that?

Hopefully the rest of your birthday is better!
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