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I did the elliptical!/Men and being overweight?

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Old 03-02-2008, 10:52 AM   #1
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Default I did the elliptical!/Men and being overweight?

So this is kind of a double subject, but I had to say I made the big investment in myself and joined this amazing gym near my home. Yesterday I went and I was able to do the Elliptical for 15 minutes! I know it doesn't sounds like much, but then I went and did the bike for another 10 so overall I am very proud of myself. Today I plan on going to do the it again, except this time do some swimming and then hit the sauna after. One more thing...

Being overweight has prevented me from dating. I notice lots of men do not like heavy women. I feel like I have so much to offer someone and I have a feeling when I hit my goal weight I will be getting more attention, but I will be angry about it. Like what was wrong with me before? I feel like I am very accepting of a heavier man and I have no problems wanting to get to know them?! Anyone else feel this way?
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:01 AM   #2
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I do. Right now, being over 75 lbs heavier, I feel invisible out in public where before when I was thin, I turned many heads and had respect from people. I just felt this way the other night @ my son's wrestling practice. One of the parents who we've known forever gave me the cold shoulder and acted like he didn't want to talk to me even though we were sitting right next to eachother. He turned his back on me and talked the other parents. It could be that he's juts a stuck up pos (be cause he is, as is his wife), but to me, it "felt" like it was because I am fat.

Anywho, congratz on 15 minutes on the Elliptical, I can barely get 60 seconds, lol!
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:12 AM   #3
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I'm in the same boat as you Lisa - and looks like we have the same start weight and goal too.

I'm 22 and perpetually single, and yes the last time I lost any weight I did start getting noticed more - and let me tell ya, it's a really weird, but empowering, feeling to have guys looking at your legs for the first time ever. But the truth is, that there are a lot of guys out there who do like chubby women... a girl I've known since high school was larger than I for a long time (she recently lost 60 lbs. ) but she hasn't been without a boyfriend for more than a week since she was 15 years old.

Like my grandpa used to say "There's a pot for every lid" and whether you're slim and trim or large and voluptuous the lid is the still going to be the same. So keep looking for your Prince Charming. He's out there somewhere looking for you.
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:24 AM   #4
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Jackie is right. He is out there and if he's worth anything he's gonna love you exactly the way you are. I've been with my guy for 6 years and he's been with me through "thin to think" so to speak, lol! He loves me for me and he actually does prefer a girl with some meat on her bones.
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Old 03-02-2008, 11:33 AM   #5
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Default Thanks Ladies

I appreciate the responses... it's just so hard being single now. As I get older the more and more my body and mind is telling me to meet someone! LOL It's just hard... I work with 150 men and I feel like I am invisible. Don't get me wrong they are all very nice, but I guess I just feel like it's ALL about looks... I am so happy for those of you that have found someone that loves you for you. I wish I had that. It's ok though, I will take out all my frustrations out on the Elliptical today!
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Old 03-02-2008, 07:45 PM   #6
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I think 15 minutes on the elliptical is a fantastic start!
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Old 03-03-2008, 01:00 PM   #7
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Default Thanks!

Yesterday I made it to 16 minutes... tonight I will try to hit 17... I actually love it and my goal this week is to hit the gym everyday this week after work. If I go home first I will not leave again. lol
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Old 03-03-2008, 01:28 PM   #8
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Lisa - I spent many years plump, after being very trim (thank you, four kids... ) In the last two months, I got a new haircut, got some new clothes, and this is what I found. Even at the SAME plump weight, I was now getting "looks". I don't think it is the weight at all, I think it is the confidence you exude. If you FEEL pretty and FEEL confident, you attract people. No one wants to have to work at soothing our insecurities. I think that women, regardless of size, are more attractive to other people when they feel good about themselves, when they've got a bounce in their step and a smile on their face...

It's great to lose weight, but if it's for the purpose of wanting people to notice you, I'm not sure you'll get the desired result at the end. I hope I'm not babbling here?
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Old 03-03-2008, 06:00 PM   #9
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Lisa,

Congrats on the elliptical

I spent many years being single but I know a lot of it was me. I'm kind of a loner and I didn't really want to deal with a relationship for many years. Then when I decided I did, it was hard to figure out how to date.

Anyway, I dated off and on in college and afterwards with my weight ranging between 330 to 360 but it wasn't really serious. I dated someone seriously at my highest weight (360 lbs) but honestly I had a lot of mental hangups. I hated myself and my body. I then started dating my husband when I was 290 and it was the best relationship I've ever had.

I agree it is hard to date, partially because of us and partially because of them.
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Old 03-03-2008, 06:11 PM   #10
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16 minutes is great!
keep up the good work!
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Old 03-05-2008, 02:16 PM   #11
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I am a man. And let me be frank: I get real tired of this line of 'man-bashing'. Guess what? There are plenty of women who will not go out with an overweight man. It does go both ways.

We all hopefully find a great mate. There are plenty of people who married 'trophy' spouses that are in awful, friend-less marriages. But if a man doesn't find a person physically attractive because of their weight that is just the way it is. We have afterall evolved as visual beings. Not even super-computers can come anywhere close to how a human can interpert faces for instances.

Now if a man or a female starts making assumptions about the person as a person then that is another matter. But I would not FOR A SECOND condemn a woman or find it odd that they did not find me physically attractive for them because I was over-weight. I am not particularly happy with how I look either for that matter. Probably the majority of people here are not. Now my primary motivation is getting healthier, getting more energy, and being able to enjoy each day more. But I am also comfortable with the fact that I want to look better.

So getting mad at men who do not find over-weight women attractive: well it works both way. Last time I looked Brad Pitt was in pretty good shape.
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Old 03-05-2008, 03:03 PM   #12
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In regards to the elliptical, that is a FANTASTIC start. I just got mine a few weeks ago and could only do 2 min! Now I'm up to 4 min at a time trying to get in 15 total each day.

BTW there is someone out there for everyone. True love means that person loves you no matter what..don't settle for less than that
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Old 03-05-2008, 05:13 PM   #13
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I feel like this too. I have no problem with guys who are a little heavy but even the heavy guys think I am too fat. Even when they weigh 100+ pounds more than me. Ugh.
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Old 03-05-2008, 09:15 PM   #14
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DH and I started on the elliptical in mid January and my first time I made it 12 minutes (DH did 14). Now I can go for an hour at a good pace or 40 minutes pushing it. It's amazing how quickly you build up your stamina.

The hardest thing for me to get over in the first month was the tired legs that would kick in after only two or three minutes. Your legs tell you to STOP, but as long as you push through it, they'll get over it and stop being so tired in another few minutes.

And people looking at you differently when you're fat... Yeah, they do Unfortunately. I'm so very lucky to have a DH that has never minded the extra weight I carried, but I have some overweight friends that are really PO'd by how they're treated sometimes. I think a lot of it has to do with how you treat yourself. When you look in the mirror and don't like what looks back, it's hard to put a nice hairdo and nice clothes on that person. I always figured that I am what I am, and I may as well do the best with what I have right now. So I put on a dress and a smile and go grocery shopping

There will always be people that give the cold shoulder to anyone that is carrying around extra weight, and that hurts, but they're not really people you want to spend much time with anyway.

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Old 03-05-2008, 10:43 PM   #15
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Yes, yesterday I did 20 minutes!!! I can't believe it. And I will say after only a week I actually look foward to going to the gym!

And btw... I hope no one got the idea that I was "man-bashing." If I was saying I wanted a man in my life, is that man bashing? I didn't think so... Anyway, I guess when "he" comes along he is attracted to both the inside and the outside.
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