Yes, I am in your same boat. I was a skinny, fit girl my whole life. Very suddenly a little over a year or so ago I gained... I'm guessing about 90-100-lbs. I can't tell you exactly how much because I stopped weighing myself and when I went to the doctor I told them not to tell me how much I weighed.
I am still not sure what all the factors in the weight gain were, but here are some of the most likely suspects: I am now 44... my metabolism changed. My thyroid is out of whack and I got my medication fixed (again), I was stress-eating, I moved from Florida to Kansas to California to the sub-Arctic in the space of a few years, my husband punched me in the face I went through The Worst Divorce in History. I got laid off. Twice. I went from making well over $100k/yr to making minimum wage less than full time... it doesn't stop there and just keeps going on and on. Summary is that there was and is a lot of stress.
Anyways, like you I could not look in the mirror (got rid of them all in fact), refused to attend any sort of social gatherings, and quite literally wallowed in my own pity, anger, disgust and self-hate.
At some point a switch flipped and I started keeping track of my calories, carbs, protein, etc. and that began a very positive trend. It wasn't that I was eating bad stuff, just too much of it. Lots of nervous eating. Anyhow, that was really all it took. I can't even say that I was trying really hard to lose weight, but just tracking what I was eating made me eat less, and I lost 20-30 lbs immediately... But this was after an initial weight loss that went untracked because I was not weighing myself. So it's really a lot more than that. The point is, it is very possible, and furthermore it might not be as hard as you think it is. Start by tracking your calories, carbs, protein, etc for everything you eat in a day and see where that gets you. I was shocked into action that netted immediate results.
I also changed the things that were causing stress in my life. I got away from my ex-husband, into a new industry, I got a new, good job, I took control over the people and the outside influences in my life. I eliminated all the sources of stress that I could. I was really excited last week to find that I'd gotten down below 190... It seems to help to set milestones, and that was a big one. I was at a plateau for a few weeks and it felt really good to see 188 on the scale.
I'm getting there. I know you can too. It's not worth it to live with the self-hate. Love yourself!!
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