[sunarie]

So I did a lot of thinking about rewards for myself and came up with basically video games. They're a hobby, I don't get to buy them often because they're spendy, and they don't really require going out.

While I was thinking of rewards, I also thought of clothing, or a mani/pedi, and ended up throwing out the ideas because I have pretty severe anxiety (that was brought on with weight gain), and forcing myself into a situation where I felt uncomfortable just didn't feel like a reward. I have also suffered from depression since I was around 15 years old, possibly longer, but that's when I started going to therapists. I'm now 29. The only medication I take is 40mg of Celexa.

My question to folks who are in similar circumstances would be, how did you deal with depression/anxiety and rewarding yourself? The anxiety I feel is often strictly related to my appearance. With a mani/pedi I'll start worrying that the person doing my nails is laughing at me, as many places have employees that will talk in another language with other employees and giggle. Clothing I get frustrated with as well, and if people see me using a fitting room I always worry that they think I shouldn't be spending money on nice clothes.

Basically I'm entirely too concerned with what other people have to think, and I'm not sure how to really cope with it, or change that frame of mind, and over a decade of therapy hasn't really helped. Maybe I'm just seeing the wrong therapists. My mindset right now is that it'll get better as the weight drops off, but I don't know for sure that'll happen. Eventually though, I'm going to need to clothes, and I would like for it to be a good experience, not a negative one.

[jerzygal]

Good luck sunarie! You're definitely on the right track. With weight loss will come confidence which will surely help curb the social anxiety, thus resulting in a pleasing cycle where you'll feel just fine getting a mani/pedi.

A couple of thoughts:

- how about only a manicure? Start with that because you're sitting face to face with the aesthetician, rather than high and exposed in the pedicure chair.

- can you buy yourself accessories like jewelry, hair clips, nail polish, makeup, perfume, scarves, etc.?

- also fun rewards could be small items for your home or bedroom, like a new lamp, framed art/photos, bedding, specialty cleaning or organization items, basically an excuse to reward yourself with actually practical luxuries like quality curtains, or splurges like a SimpleHuman automatic soap dispenser?

Hope that helps!

[sunarie]

Thank you for the reply jerzygal.

I could try a mani alone I guess. When I've gone in the past it's always been with friends.. both because I was mortified to go on my own, plus they sorta pressured me into it.

I hadn't really thought of buying nail polish and makeup, though getting some higher quality stuff probably isn't a bad idea. I don't wear makeup a ton so I usually go with cheapo products I find at the grocery store.

Finding furniture and stuff for the house is a good idea too! We actually just relocated because boyfriend graduated college and got a job, and our house needs some decoration. Walls and all are bare. Just have blinds, no curtains at all.

[ReNew Me]

I have social anxiety and problems with strangers/crowds, I loathe shopping and I'm not a mani/pedi person (chemical smells kill me). And I don't like video games so I was really stumped on a reward system. Then I bought myself an e-reader -- it was cheaper than a new pair of glasses, which I need. I've found a ton of free options but not necessarily books I want to read, and there is usually a long wait for many of the popular books at the library, so I treat myself by buying a book for my e-reader.

[sunarie]

Ohh, another good suggestion I hadn't thought of! I actually have a Kindle Fire tablet and a Kindle e-reader.

You gals are awesome