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Old 08-12-2013, 07:55 AM   #1
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Default Coping Help

I feel so down on myself and I'm freaking out. I'm 22 years old, have one semester left in college, and don't know what I'm doing with the rest of my life. I feel like I don't know the first thing about being an adult, and lately it's been causing me awful anxiety attacks. My stomach starts to hurt and I have trouble breathing. I think about all the things I have to do and all the things I don't know how to do, and I start convincing myself I will never be able to do any of it and I'll never find love and I'll never be happy and I just want to die.

The way I deal with anxiety is escapism. I'm an extreme daydreamer and binge eater. Lately I feel like the only way out of my panic is to lose myself in something, like a fantasy about suddenly striking it rich (lol... except really, this is what calms me down)... and eating until I'm so sick I can't think anymore.

Then, of course, I come back to reality and the cycle continues.

I really don't know what I need right now. Just some love. Or help. Can someone who feels stable and secure in where they are tell me how they do it? How do you deal with life obstacles without getting so wound up? I just don't get it and it makes me feel so incapable of changing.
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Old 08-12-2013, 06:02 PM   #2
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Eva,
My son went through exactly the same thing. It started when he had two semesters left and it was really bad. I have since learned a lot about this and found it is SO common with college students. For him, it was a full out depression and had to get meds. He went to the counseling center at his university and thank goodness told us. Everything is okay now and it is hard to believe he was so depressed. He's been out of college just one year and is fine. Got a job not in his major.
No one really knows for sure what they will do after college and that is scary. Please seek out help and know that you are not alone in feeling scared, eating out of depression and then feeling worse. Probably everyone here has done it!
I am thinking of you! If you can talk to your parents, that might help. My son held off from telling us but finally did and we were shocked. Actually my husband and I gained a lot of weight during that time because we were so worried. But it will come off!
One day at a time!
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Old 08-13-2013, 01:51 AM   #3
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Hey Eva, I'm Ally and I have gone through the same thing and more than once. I'm turning 22 at the end of the year and I graduate next year. Fall 2011/Spring 2012 I over did it and took the most amount of classes I have ever taken so I could get my Associates at the end of the spring semester. I was freaking out!! I call numerous friends crying into the phone cause I thought I was going to fail and I didn't know what I was going to do. My family knew I was graduating and I didn't want to disappoint them which made me feel even worse. This also happened when I graduated from high school and a few times before that. But when it came down to it, I got my grades and didn't fail. I walked in graduation, smiled for the pictures, was happy I got there but I personally wasn't happy because I was doing everything for the approval of others.

What got me through it was that I knew I've been there before and I knew I was strong enough to overcome my anxiety. Yes I still worry about being alone, and not being successful but we have a lot of time to figure everything out. I still don't have everything figured out but I am just taking it one step at a time. But you don't have to get through this alone.

I also am an extreme daydreamer. I read and write a lot, I actually want to be a writer so getting lost in another world is what I do best. But not only do I dream up these other places, I write down what I'm feeling and going though to vent and work though my problems.

Talk to a friend, write it down, post on here. Find out what works for you, but know that you are a strong amazing person and you can get through anything.
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Old 08-13-2013, 10:55 AM   #4
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Thank you both so much for your support. Your words mean a lot to me and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:05 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Eva03 View Post
Can someone who feels stable and secure in where they are tell me how they do it? How do you deal with life obstacles without getting so wound up? I just don't get it and it makes me feel so incapable of changing.
Here's the thing. We're all flawed. We're all secretly scared of not having X or Y skill that other people have. I'm 56 years old now and very successful in my field, IN SPITE of having a boatload of flaws. One of them is poor control of my emotions. Just the other day I cried on the phone to one of my clients! I have lots and lots of other flaws, as my family will be happy to corroborate. I also used to think I would never find love. My first boyfriend (at age 21) once told me he thought he would never get sex except by paying for it.

The good thing is that flaws and insecurities don't prevent people from being successful and finding love -- or else none of us would do it!

Don't let your insecurities get in the way. Accept them like passing clouds, make a plan, and start moving toward it. Your plan may change many times, as mine did (I only got my career act together at age 35), and that's OK.

I hope it doesn't sound trite, but the best advice I have for you is to stop dwelling and start doing. You'll be fine.

Freelance
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Old 08-16-2013, 05:38 PM   #6
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Here's the thing. We're all flawed. We're all secretly scared of not having X or Y skill that other people have. I'm 56 years old now and very successful in my field, IN SPITE of having a boatload of flaws. One of them is poor control of my emotions. Just the other day I cried on the phone to one of my clients! I have lots and lots of other flaws, as my family will be happy to corroborate. I also used to think I would never find love. My first boyfriend (at age 21) once told me he thought he would never get sex except by paying for it.

The good thing is that flaws and insecurities don't prevent people from being successful and finding love -- or else none of us would do it!

Don't let your insecurities get in the way. Accept them like passing clouds, make a plan, and start moving toward it. Your plan may change many times, as mine did (I only got my career act together at age 35), and that's OK.

I hope it doesn't sound trite, but the best advice I have for you is to stop dwelling and start doing. You'll be fine.

Freelance
I always so enjoy your wisdom freelance! Thanks for sharing it with us!
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