I am not sure why I'm posting, other than the fact that I'm going through a really rough time and know that some of the ladies on this board can relate.
My marriage is in jeopardy. I don't want to get into the details, but I'm feeling pretty awful. It's no one's fault. Neither of us did anything wrong, such as be unfaithful or anything, but it's just pretty miserable at our home all the time. My husband and I are going to commit to working on our marriage, but to be honest, I'm not sure if we will make it. Needless to say, I'm feeling a lot of anxiety.
I take WellbutrinSR - 150mg, 1x a day for mild clinical depression. I'm wondering, though, if I actually have clinical depression or situational depression. Either way, I've been taking the Wellbutrin. My mom also gave me her Xanax - 0.5mg. When I'm feeling *really* anxious during the day, I will take 1/2 pill. Or if I'm feeling too anxious to sleep, I will take one whole pill.
I'm finding it pretty hard to focus at work. Usually the Wellbutrin helps with this, but I'm just pretty overwhelmed by my personal life right now. If we do get divorced, I certainly can't afford to be unemployed(!). But I'm finding it hard to keep it together. This morning, I didn't want to get out of bed and it took every ounce of my energy to take a shower and eat breakfast. I hate feeling this way.
I suppose it's good that I don't want to eat, but I'd rather be happy and fat than get skinny feeling like this.
I would like to start working out with my trainer again on July 6th. In fact, I committed to it and now I'm worried that we cannot afford it. I think it's really important for my overall mental health and well-being to get regular exercise. By paying the trainer 2x a week, I can be sure that I will do *at least* that and probably a few other day. I don't know, though. I just know I need to do something to stay sane.
Anyone else go through something similar that cares to share some coping strategies. Oh, I'm meeting with a therapist tomorrow, hoping that (a) it will help to talk about my problems outside rather than bottling them up, and (b) perhaps by working on myself I will be able to save our marriage.