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Depression and Weight Issues Have you been diagnosed with depression, are possibly on depression medication, and find it affects your weight loss efforts? Post here for support!

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Old 04-06-2009, 04:11 PM   #1
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Default Barely clinging to my towel...

Hi everyone... I kind of need to vent. I'm so frustrated... I hope it's ok if I blow off some steam.

The "Barely clinging to my towel" title of this post means a few things... first of all, I mean I'm about ready to throw in the towel. Not just with regard to exercise and eating right, but everything. I'm fed up and sick of feeling like my life is going nowhere and feeling like everything I try to do (from losing weight to running a home business to just keeping the apartment half way tidy) falls flat on its face. I'm also clinging to my towel in that I'm on the South Beach Diet - get it? Like a beach towel? Yeah. Also, there's the Hitchhiker's Guide reference... I'm not a very hoopy frood these days.

Anyhow. I'm just so exhausted. I feel like every freaking day is an uphill battle. I have Asperger's Syndrome (high functioning autism), Seasonal Affective Disorder, and mild hypoglycemia. What this adds up to is some seriously miserable Winters, as well as a fairly rotten Rest-Of-The-Time. Specifically, the co-morbidities are driving me nutty. Due to the AS I don't get hunger signals at least 75% of the time, so usually I only know I'm hungry when I start yelling at my boyfriend or my cats or myself for no good reason. Which is why I'm partial to South Beach, since it helps keep my blood sugar on a more even keel. But then, the AS also means I don't feel right - can't really think straight, get even more overstimulated by sensory input - when I don't have super crunchy foods, like cookies or crackers or chips. All simple carbs guaranteed to send my blood sugar wonky, nevermind sabotage any weight loss. ARGH.

Between the AS crunchy-cravings and good old-fashioned emotional eating I've ordered Chinese food three times in the last week or so, and I'm feeling kind of hopeless. I keep picking myself back up and eating right for a few days, but I end up really wanting to have crunchy, fried, comforting food - that I don't have to bother with making!

Then there's just the fact that between the super sensitive SAD (a rainy week will screw me up BADLY) and the fact that I'm pretty much adrift right now - no job, no kids, generally no compelling reason to get out of bed - it's pretty dang hard to remember why I should bother. I'm not morbidly obese, or even obese (though I skate that line at my highest weight) so it's not a pressing health issue, other than the fact that it's probably adding to my overall crappy mood. I've been out of shape (though not overweight) my whole life and my body is starting to complain. My joints feel at least ten years older than they are, and I have to energy.

I just feel like giving up sometimes. I know I should probably get on meds, at least for the winter and rainy stretches like we're having (it's been overcast or raining nearly every day for at least two weeks now). But it's one more thing to deal with and I'm having a hard time finding to energy... I don't drive so I need to arrange a ride, and the communication issues of AS mean the whole thing will be SO exhausting - just scheduling the appointment is super stressful.

Anyways. I'm basically just whining, because I don't have anywhere else to vent all this crankiness. I know that eating right and especially exercising will help with my depression issues, and that if I just watch the clock and eat carefully that should help with the AS/hypoglycemia issues. And I'll probably get myself on meds as soon as the weather clears up enough for me to handle it. I'm scared they'll make me gain weight, but if I'm not dragged down by the weather I should be ok to make it clear to a doctor that meds with weight-gain side effects should be avoided if possible.

I just needed to get all of that off my chest. I get so frustrated fighting more than just the usual weight loss issues. It's such a battle, you know? Thanks for "listening" - if you could make it this far! - it's just nice to have some one to talk to, and I figured maybe some of you might get where I'm coming from. Sometimes just knowing you're not alone helps, you know?
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Last edited by Betsi; 04-06-2009 at 04:13 PM.
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Old 04-06-2009, 04:22 PM   #2
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Sweetie, I don't have any great advice about the conditions that you suffer from, just wanted to send a your way and tell you that you are absolutely not alone. You whine and vent your crankiness here all you need to.
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Old 04-06-2009, 11:22 PM   #3
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Whine, vent, cry, rant, rave, shout, etc...get that out, don't bottle it up.

I also have no magic solution or sage advice, but take the advice of Shrek on all things that cause stress "Better out than in I always say!" Of course, he was referring to gas, but you get the idea!

Hang in there, kiddo! Sunny days are coming!
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Old 04-06-2009, 11:48 PM   #4
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I am sorry you are feeling down and frustrated.I have to insight into AS but you are inspiring to me.You have a challenge(maybe many) and you are doing your best to change your life.Dont stop trying.Life is hard and unfair.We are here for you.Dont throw in the towel.
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Old 04-07-2009, 09:39 AM   #5
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So lets talk about you! I will be honest is time to find what you like to do ! you think a lot, and that is the problem. Tell me what is you love! You girl need motivation, all we know that is very hard but you are on the road so you must keep the right direction!
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Old 04-08-2009, 11:48 AM   #6
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Thanks guys. I just get so frustrated.... no matter how hard I try, things keep getting fouled up. I've gained back half of the eight pounds I initially lost and I can' bring myself to adjust my ticker. I'm putting a lot of effort into eating right and exercising, but I can't seem to lose the weight. I'm probably just being impatient, but I having a really hard time not getting discouraged.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 04-08-2009, 11:56 AM   #7
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I think you are trying to make too many changes all at once and you are finding yourself overloaded and frustrated. Maybe you should just work on the exercising part because I think that that may be the most beneficial to you at this time. Worry about your diet and weight loss later. Are you getting enough sleep? Sleep is good for energy and weight loss. You need to forgive yourself for the past and work on pampering yourself in the present. You are worth it.
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Old 04-08-2009, 02:19 PM   #8
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I'm sorry!!

You pretty much describe how I was feeling a few years ago. I still get that stupid SAD and it makes me want to punch things - mostly people LOL! OK not funny but...HEY it's been raining forever here too! I tire of this And just as I type that I look outside and it is SNOWING??!!

Losermom makes a really great point! My troubles got really bad when I started a business and then 2 months later ended a long term relationship with the love of my life.....NOT...LOL!....(how crazy was I? Very). And then a month later I quit smoking.

BAD MOVE!!!! Very bad!!!

I've always had problems with low grade chronic depression. At the time I quit smoking I was about 30lbs overweight. I quickly gained another 40lbs as soon as I quit the nicotine patch. And then a severe depression took over. I'd get up in the morning, drink a bunch of coffee, and then go back to bed! I remember sitting in the bathroom wishing I could find the guts to just end the misery.....but I couldn't - because if I did someone was going to come see the 20 pairs of unwashed underwear and whatever else lying all over the house! OK, well, maybe not that many...but close!

I really do think all the change combined with and super fast weight gain that would depress pretty much anyone was just too much for my body and certainly mind to handle! There's just no way to make all that stress go away quick enough!

I finally went on anti-depressants about 6 months later. Though prior to starting them, I found that just eating healthier foods and getting in the cardio and even yoga helped to fuel things like getting out of bed in the morning. Prior to that things like having to empty the dishwasher seemed like an insurmountable task!

Even if you aren't seeing results on the scale - know that we are what we eat. I've done a whole lot of learning about nutrition over the past few years - out of necessity because the scale simply would not budge. The hormonal effects of food can really make or break me - mentally and physically!! You already see that with the carbs - so you know!!! I can't eat much of them either - even the so called "healthy" whole grains can set me off if I eat too much. And really, now is probably not a good time to be super low calorie - so I hope you are eating enough!!

You're not alone - and yes.....there IS light at the end of the tunnel. It just takes time to get to the point where you can even see it! If you're as impatient as I am - it seems like that day will never come! Have faith in yourself, do what you know you need to do, and you WILL get to where you want to be!
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Old 04-08-2009, 03:47 PM   #9
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You mentioned needing the crunchy foods.. have you looked to low calorie alternatives.. carrots/celery are crunchy, as well as popcorn..

Also, just because its cold outside doesn't mean you can't go out. I get pretty grumpy if I haven't been out, and with two kids at home it is easy for me to just stay home. But, I found when I would get them all bundled up and put them in the stroller and take them for a walk, we all felt better. Even if it was really cold outside.

I know your issues are bigger than these two tiny pieces of advice. I think you've got a lot of people here on your side, that have offered you advice. Only you know what will work for you... but you have to make the effort to do it. I think sometimes that is the hard part.

So, take small steps and set your self up for success. Make small goals, and I'm not talking about weight loss. I'm talking about small things, like take a bath, get yourself all dressed up with make up and your hair done and get out of the house. Make a plan with a friend, and don't cancel it.. Go shopping, even if it is at the dollar store. Do something that lets you be creative.. draw a picture, sing a song, write a poem.

I remember one time I was horribly down.. I didn't even have the energy to leave my house. So I called my cousin.. I asked her to come over and visit me. If you have a friend that you won't mind seeing you at your worst, ask them to come over and watch a movie with you. Sometimes just having real company can make a difference.
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Old 04-08-2009, 04:13 PM   #10
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Hi Betsi, it's okay, we all need to vent sometimes!

Have you talked to you doctor about light therapy for your seasonal disorder? It might be a better solution for you than meds, especially considering you have weight loss concerns. Here is a link to an article from the Mayo Clinic on light therapy: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sea...atment/DN00013. I don't know if your health insurance would pay for it, but if it is doctor prescribed, I don't see why not. If nothing else, you can take it off your taxes under medical expenses with a doctor's prescription.

As for the crunchy cravings, if you are not allergic to nuts, I would say chomp on almonds. They are really healthy and very crunchy. Even the salted, roasted kind are much better than chips and cookies. You might also try a combination of sunflower seeds, soynuts and raisins or dried cranberries. That's about 160 calories for 1/4 cup. Again, much healthier than chips or cookies.

Also, set a timer if you have to, but it's very important for you to eat with your hypoglycemia. Of course, you know that, but not eating is not an option, so do whatever it takes to stay on top of that.

Good luck and keep your chin up! And you don't need to move your ticker, because things will get better!
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Old 04-09-2009, 08:09 AM   #11
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I forgot to mention that you can purchase full spectrum florescent light bulbs to replace your regular incandenscent bulbs. My DH has SAD symptoms, as well as my kids and I to a lesser extent, so we swapped out 3 bulbs in areas where people have a tendency to plant themselves. I don't know if it really helped but it definitely didn't hurt either. Paperskin has some great advice as well! You need to take care of yourself.
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Old 04-09-2009, 08:17 AM   #12
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Don't be sad. Do more exercise and eat vegetable, don't eat much hight fad food.
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Old 04-09-2009, 11:07 AM   #13
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Just remember, if you give up now, you're only giving up on yourself. And if you start the trend of giving up on yourself, it's very easy to continue it. Everyone might not have the specific conditions you do, but we all have roadblocks in life; it's how we deal with them that defines us.

Stick with it; keep away from negative thoughts like "this is too hard" or "I'll never do it" because weight-loss is as much mental as it is physical.

I know it's hard, but nothing in life that is worth it is easy. Stick with it, kid
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