[settie]

Originally Posted by mghalt

I asked for Wellbutrin because it's more 'weight neutral' and the psychiatrist said it would cause me too much anxiety (I have worse problems with anxiety than I do depression..... ay yi yi!)
LOL

When I was put on Wellbutrin I too had mega issues with anxiety but because it was working so well for the depression I wanted to stay on it. My doctor suggested Citalopram (Celexa) along with the Wellbutrin to curb the anxiety. It has worked fairly well.

Good luck,

[Pathos]

oh. im writting because i have lost hope. uh. first, im from lithuania so sorry for all the mistakes i will do writting this.
i stated to lose weight at november. now i weigth 156pounds (i started with 187. my heigth 5.35feets, 15 ears old)
bvaah.
its silly. there is so many disskusions about fat girs. so many people says thats ok, but not in lithuania. i wont tell about the insults i hear everyday. im not sooo fowerweight but i cant feel happy because i havent a normal childhood.. even in shops, there is no larger clothes than size L. (thanks god, i dont need bigger....)
i just cant take any more. the main fackt we are honoured about lithuania is taht there is the most beautiful girls. skinny, blond, wearing ****in short skirts with ****in long legs. there is inexcusable thing to be different...
i wont talk about guys too... its ridiculous that guy would chose a fat girl than a sexy one.
so. i feel like a hippo all the day. every minutte. every second. every look makes me nore depressed...
now i can hardly say that i scare people. so many time i had heard 'sorry. u too fat'. so many dissapointments.
and now. its a whole month i am eating. eating and eating. every morning starts with a question 'will i gutlle again?'
i lost all motivation why i am doig this. i am only eating. ant it makes me happy. i dont want to see any people, because my weight is growing.... (7puonds +)
and because my weight is growing i fell in bigger despair and eat more.
i just want to stop.... but i cant.....

[KitgetsFit]

Mg, you can do it and you have plenty of cheerleaders here for support. I liked the suggestion about making smaller goals at first. How would you feel if you were ten lbs lighter? Probably pretty happy to be in a new number range. Ten pounds is doable, right? Just keep reaching those ten lb goals.
Do you have a sleep apnea mask for when you sleep? My parents say they make a huge difference.

[Shawski]

I have been struggling with this vicious cycle for as long as I can remember. Eat because I'm depressed - depressed because I ate - eat more because I'm depressed because I ate - and so forth. I don't have children, so I may not be able to relate to this cycle when it includes children - I can most def relate on all other levels. I've recently started seeing a therapist for other issues, and I explain my relationship with food to her. She said it sounded exactly like she was talking to an alcoholic - but with food instead of booze, so your "drug" metaphor seems pretty accurate. Recently I've been having issues sleeping, and unconsciously it seems I've been eating until I'm full enough to pass out. Between the two, it just feels like a loosing battle.
That being said, I've found that the only way to get over my ob session with food is to start a calorie jounral - and become somewhat obsessed with that. Everything I eat goes in - I'll spend a bit of time planning - adding things, deleting them - until I finally come to my "masterpiece" of the day. That way you can eat the food you like, that doesn't make you gag, but just in a limited amount. I realize its not healthy to become obsessed with weight loss, but its not healthy for me to binge eat until I pass out to get away from everything either - so here I'm choosing the lesser of two evils for me.
There are also a few books that have been recommended to me that I've bought, but admittedly not read. Maybe they will give some better insight than I would - and reading may also help you get a little "you" time apart from your kids, and that may help you relax a little too. ( I have a feeling that last sentence is going to prove I don't have children...) Stress is like fuel to the cycle.

Hope you've found something in the replies to your post that is a least a little helpful or inspiring. At the very least I hope you’ve realized you’re not out there alone and you have an entire group of people ready to lend you an ear or give you advice and support when you need it.

[Shawski]

Ok so I can't post links to the books I mentioend because I havn't made enough posts yet. Hmmm... The one I actually started readin (a little at least) was Anatomy of a Food Addiction by Anne Katherine.

[2mchme]

love hate relationship with ice cream and soda-mghalt I hear you in my heart sister! tired of being tired and medicating it all with food. This is a great place to come for support and a reality check. I find I have the hardest time with depression and binging when I don't come here and reach out or at least "lurk." Isolation seems to magnify my self loathing and feelings of failure. Granted, the ice cream and soda will always be there for me:-) but not in the healthly way this support community is. Best wishes to you and all who are in this journey together :-)

[twilit tera]

I honestly don't know what to add to what these other fine people have responded with. Small steps are key, becoming more aware of your own needs, being conscious of when you're really hungry and finding other ways to cheer yourself up besides eating.

Your post reminded me of some of my own worst moments... eating an entire chocolate silk pie at a sitting because I felt lonely and uncared for.

One thing perhaps... do you love yourself? Do you feel loved by yourself? Do you feel worthy of love? If you answered no to any of these questions, you may need to explore your feelings further, as painful as it will be, and discover what the sources of your self-esteem are. Then you can begin the process of improving your self-esteem.