Good morning, dah'lings. How is everyone today? It's raining here, and MUCH cooler.
I can't remember what I ate yesterday, but I know it wasn't bad.
Sweet_Pea, I hope you got some sleep last night, hon. There's nothing much worse than being sleep deprived.
Wow, that's so cool what you do for a living! I agree... nothing is ever wasted. We can learn from everything we do, and it can only add to our lives. I studied architecture, but didn't finish. It's not something I want to go back to (although it's all I wanted to do for many years), but I don't regret the years that I studied it.
Kate, that was so sweet of you... unpacking the extra smilies just for me.
Make some time for yourself today (yesterday? What day are you on over there?), sit down with your journal, and be mindful of your body's needs. (do as I say, not as I do. snort)
Elizabeth, get that beast back into it's cage! (nice analogy, hon. heh heh) What are you up to these days?
Donna, hi! Congratulations on the three days... that's great!! Keep it up, hon.
MyThreeTots, you're so close! How exciting... you'll get to see your baby soon! I think it's kind of cool... when you're pregnant, you and your baby have such an intimate relationship. And then you get to "meet" face-to-face.
I finally have a day to myself. First one this week. Assuming my sweet DH doesn't come home for lunch.
I'd better get the three-day-old laundry out of the washer and give it the sniff test...
Hi, Ellis! Wow, a day all to yourself? Woo hoo! Have fun...run the laundry through again, that way you buy another hour when you don't have to be drying/folding it. (I can lazy my way out of anything...come to me with all your 'avoid the housework' needs...)
Just giving a shout out to all the girlies. I woke up this morning at 3:00 AM and had cherries at 4:00 AM. I don't consider it a binge because I gave it a full hour of lying there with my stomach growling in starvation before I ate, and when I did, it was just fruit. Eating in the middle of the night like that is VERY rare for me...I mean I literally never do it under normal circumstances, and have only done it twice during this pregnancy. I gave it plenty of time to be certain it was real hunger.
After the cherries I finally was able to sleep, thank God. But am really tired today.
Wow up hungry at night I consider myself extremely lucky that I have never had that problem! once I am asleep I am OUT for the night.
I am now on my longest binge free run since February! NINE days!!!
and today I have been right on target! I made myself a schedule of my day (detailed schedule like SuperNanny is known for) and am starting to make myself wake up at 5:00am. i have charted times for house cleaning, meals, Me time, playing with kids, EVERYTHING is scheduled. gonna see how this goes with me, usually i do good on schedules.
Today I got up at 5:30 instead because I had to babysit today and needed that extra 30 minutes after staying up till 1:30AM!!!! finishing the book i was reading.
I was planning on a workout (30 min on treadmill) at 5:15am then another at 1-2pm (workout tape strength training or Yoga) the workout tape happened but not the early workout. BUT my eating is on target!
Im happy with today so far!
Well, I'm sad to say that my binge beast escaped his cage. I just turned my back for a moment (felt a little over confident). The next thing I knew, the bars on the cage were bent and this gruesome, hairy beast was running wild in my kitchen! Beastie had been caged for over a month, so naturally, he was quite wild when he escaped! It frantically pawed through my refrig and cabinets looking for unhealthy, bingey-type foods! HA! None to be found!!!! Well, it was still an ugly feeding frenzy. Pots and pans were flying, nothing edible was safe! But, thankfully, my calorie intake for today has been under 1800 calories! I dragged the evil binge beast back into his cage where he is soundly sleeping---drunk on food!
I had been binge-free for over a month. Longer than I can EVER recall. I'm very grateful for that and am especially thankful for EVERYONE here in this forum! The support and encouragement here has really helped me so much!
OK, I'm back on track----got the beast in a new and improved cage!
Again Elizabeth I love your comedic twist to your binges and I can almost see you twisting that evil bingeys arm behind his back as you throw him kicking and screaming back into his cage!
You made it a month! that is more than I have Ever really made it and that is nothing to throw stones at..you are awesome and you can do it again....get a nice new padlock for bingeys cage! or maybe write a nice hate letter to him and stick it on the fridge for him to see...works for me sometimes...tell him how much you hate that he makes you eat and how much you hate how the food he forces you to eat makes you feel. Hope this helps
I am off to settle with book 3 in the garden series of Nora Roberts(Red Lily)...OHHH boy its gonna be a LONGGG night with the resident ghost of this book! But its better than crying over the cramps of TOM
I failed. But my post isn't going to be lighthearted or hopeful.
Maybe I'll never lick this.
I went to my 38-week OB appointment today. Hadn't gained a pound! I was SO proud! And I was even kind of thinking, Wow, every time I've had a good weigh-in I've binged afterward (and never really knew why)...But oh no, not THIS time. THIS time, I had things so under control. This time I had read my Geneen Roth. This time, I had made a commitment to the 3fatchicks girls to not binge for the week.
And I got home and it was so hot...even with every window of the house open...and I couldn't put on the AC, I just couldn't, because we can't afford it right now...we seriously can't. I mean soon enough it will literally be unbearable and we'll have to have it on all the time and then...oh my god...you should see the electric bill.
And DS was so bad this afternoon...so so bad. I mean he's a lovely boy. But he is into everything. Oh god, he just won't stop. Spaghetti sauce on the carpet...b/c he couldn't wait TWO F*CKING SECONDS for me to wash his hands after I got him down from his chair. He keeps going into the kitchen drawers. Now he's eating (literally) a Chapstick. He likes to pull my hair, too. In the 90-degree heat. Sitting behind me, stomping against my folds of fat on my back with his shoes, yanking my hair over and over until I'm SCREAMING at him and then he looks hurt.
And yeah, hair. I'm so ugly...so bloated and ugly...it's no wonder my DH doesn't want to be in my company...it's no wonder he hides out on the computer...so I got some more Henna from Sally's...and it was really red and I thought, Oh crap. I don't look suddenly gorgeous after all. Now instead of being a hideous fat f*ck with brown hair, I'm a hideous fat f*ck with red hair. So I put it up and there were wisps but only on one side. So I tried to cut wisps into the other side and it's just choppy and looks AWFUL. I have always had ugly hair. I've never been one of the "in" girls and even now at almost 40 I'll never ever get it right.
And you know what? So what if I binge? Because as I learned last year when I lost 20 lbs...DH won't want me thinner anyway. Only the inappropriate people will! Like my FIL who came on to me so severely, so threateningly, so cunningly (laughing it off to other people like I was exaggerating) and trapping me in rooms that I literally was at the point over Christmas of sobbing to DH and BEGGING him not to force me to go over there anymore (I had been working for the in-laws from their home). And then after it happened...I was blamed. My MIL HUMILIATED ME AS MUCH AS SHE COULD to punish me by calling family members to let them know what a psycho Mel was, she had issues, etc. EVEN THOUGH MY SIL BACKED ME UP over horrible, horrible things she heard FIL say to me. So that's how they keep me quiet about it now...
So if I lose weight...DH still won't want me anyway, and I still won't be worth air conditioning and I still wont' be worth cuddles and I still won't be worth attention, or sleeping in the same bed...and ALL I'll be worth to anybody is that I'll apparently get my FIL stiff.
So maye I want to stay fat.
Could that be it? Do I want to stay fat?????????????
Last edited by MyThreeTots; 06-01-2006 at 11:37 PM.
Wow MyThreeTots I am so sorry you had such a bad day. Those are the kinds of days that I grab my kids and play in the sprinkler with them or Just cuddle in bed and take a nap...I know how you feel being big preggo and having young ones..my son was 8 months old when we found out OOOPS your pregnant! so I was very sick with morning sickness and having to follow around a kid that walked at 7 months old and ran at 9 months old. Add to that bedrest from being preggo too soon after him and preterm labor and you got one grumpy prego on your hands! But you know the minute our baby girl was born the world stopped spinning and our family was complete.
She was 4 weeks early but healthy and after an initial scare just minutes after she was born perfect. Our family was perfect, my son loved his sister and all was right in t he world.....My point? you are hormonal, prolly a lil scared of the new baby adding to the stress of an already stressful life, scared that the pregnancy weight won't come off, scared of everything imaginable....
but when you hold that baby boy in your arms and you see that he is fine and perfect your world will fall into place and you will wonder why in the world you ever let yourself have a bad day when you had that to look foward to
Word of advice, next time the younges is being a brat *as all kids ARE and will be haha* get out photo albums, get out home movies get out all the memories and share the good times with them...the good times bring a smile to your face and to see their eyes light up to see themselves as babies is just priceless.
OHHH boy long post here but you got a lady here who has the baby blues BAD *I want another but got my tubes tied 3 years ago...our family is complete BUTTTTTTTT it never keeps you from wanting JUST ONE MORE*
Yesterday was not so gloriuos- no binge, but a lot of bad food choices, no exercises and overwhelmed laziness. And this day unfortunately feels like yesterday.....So I´ll do my very best to turn that around. Well, hope is the last thing that dies....
Oh, and there must be a tiny but magical creature have visited our house. Maybe a friend of telemetrynurse´s binge beast- it ruined me scale. It fixed the ticker of the scale 164 pounds, it doesn´t move. Maybe I have to buy a new scale.
LeaLee: First: Congratulations on your binge free days! And a wow for getting up so early.
I am so curious if the scheduling thing works for you....The SuperNanny in me always draw really nice schedules, but there is a problem with....you know, doing what the schedule says. But even drawing a schedule gives me a good feeling. So I am thinking of doing one for next week....So what are your experiences?
telemetrynurse: I am sorry that you binged- but your description of your binge beast is wonderful!
I hope your beast is back at a secure cage.
Looking at your wedding pics, I was thinking: Well, she did a remake of "The beauty and the beast" yesterday.
MyThreeTots: I am sorry that you have such an awful time! Ok, doesn´t help you that much....
Reading your post I really could feel your stress, desperation...All that issues going on, sitting in the heat, son behaving awful, pregnant...
I don´t have kids and have no experiences with pregnancy, so LeaLee is quite more able to say something about that topic.
I just wanted to say that you are worth it!! You are worth attention, love, whatever! I know it´s hard to believe sometimes. Don´t loose hope. Try to make it through this day, or just next hour.
I ´ll be online nearly all day here (that would be night for you...anyway). If you want dumb and un-useful advice (put your feet in cold water- cools whole body) or something else, PM me or write on the board.
ellis: Huhu ! I hope you had a nice day- besides doing the sniff test on the laundry
HarpoChico: Where are you???
And the most un- important and useful question of the day:
What is this: ? ("A smiley" is right, but not the kind of right I wanted to know, you understand?)
Day 1 post binge-beast escape! So far, so good. The beast is starting to awaken and even poked his hairy arm through the bars of his cage---was trying to GRAB me while I was making a healthy breakfast! I ate my healthy breakfast and wanted MORE! The binge-beast was screaming and yelling, demanding to be fed! MORE, feed me MORE! So, I ran (almost literally) from the scene of the crime (kitchen) and came down to my basement office---where I can't even hear the screams of agony from the binge-beast!
I refer to the "binge-beast" as a separate entity because, in a way, I almost feel as though it IS a separate entity! Although it may sound kinda schizo--I almost feel as though I was having an out of body experience when I was bingeing. Sure, I was there physically. But mentally, I wasn't really there. 'Cause if I was there mentally I would have STOPPED the binge-beast from destroying all of my hard work, my careful calorie counting and FEP (forced exercise program!).
Kate~I'm sorry that my binge-beast's friend, scale-beast paid you a visit! He is an international beast, not just here in the US! Yep, scale-beast is an evil cousin of binge-beast. He can work hard to discourage you by manipulating your scale! Don't let him win!!!! He is only trying to make you give in to the binge-beast! The best thing to do is to AVOID him when possible! Maybe only see him once a week?
I hope you feel better today!
Lealee~Thanks for the encouragement! I do feel good about making it a month binge-free! A large part of that is due to the wonderful people here, like YOU, who share and care!
Hey, next time, if you see me fighting with my binge-beast, PLEASE hit him in the head with a frying pan!
WOOHOO! Congrats on your binge-free success! You'll beat my one month record SOON!
Also, since reading one of your posts, I've gotten a Nora Robert's book---Black Roses. I love to read!
My3Tots~ I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a tough time! I hate to hear about anybody who has to keep the AC off----been there, done that. Especially considering the fact that you are 9 months pregnant!?!?! That has got to be so hard! Dealing with the heat, hormones and young children while 9 months pregnant!?!?!?! OMG! You deserve an award!
It's no wonder you're feeling a bit down!!!
You're so close to meeting your new blessing-June 9th? Please try and think of that when you feel down.
Ellis, Harp, Sweetpea~ I hope you're all having a great day! :vibes:
Elizabeth, I can completely relate to your associating "the binging person" as another entity. It really is as though someone else has taken over my body, and is force-feeding me.
Do we need an exorcist?
Hang in there, girl... you're doing great.
MyThreeTots, I could just cry for you, hon. I wish I could help you out in some way. You mentioned your SIL. Are you close enough to her that you could call/email her and ask for some suggestions?
As to the heat... what about taking a cool bath? I know it doesn't last, but it really can bring down the temperature of your skin for awhile.
Listen, you are worth a lot, girl! Don't measure your worth by the attentions of others. You're worth a great deal to yourself, to your children, to friends and family. Even to strangers when you have little encounters with them. You are valuable, and don't you forget it.
Kate, that is a Hershey's Kiss. It's made of that really good stuff (can't mention it here), and it's wrapped in foil. You don't have them over there, eh? Just as well.
Yeah, get a new scale, girl. heh heh
LeaLee, I hope you're feeling better today. Darned TOM. Enjoy your book, hon.
Okay, so I think the only reason I'm doing really well eating-wise today is that I had a bad night last night (finally took a Trazodone to knock me out around 1ish), went back to bed this morning after getting everyone out of the house, and slept until 1:30!
I'm still lacking in energy. I don't know if I mentioned this, but my psychiatrist has upped my depression meds again, and had me go for bloodwork for iron, thyroid, etc. I'm fed up of just lying around exhausted all the time.
Hopefully I'll find out next week what's up.
Elizabeth, not much time to post but DO NOT start reading that book haha..its part of a 3 part trilogy...get Blue Dahlia first and THEN Black Rose and the third (I am readin g now) is Red Lily...AWESOME trilogy and I love a good ghost.
OK guys I hope you are all doin good! we went to an unmentionable food joint and ate something round but only had one piece then enjoyed a treat (not binge) of some ummmm things with white stuff inside and squigglies on top not a binge just a treat
Everyone enforce those cage doors and hold the bingey off!!
I'm here, I'm here. What a great feeling it is to be missed and know I'm cared about
I just haven't been in a posting mood lately . . . I've been in a shy mood (or maybe a lazy mood??) I've slipped back into lurker territory, sometimes I just do that.
But don't worry, I haven't binged for almost 2 days.
I just saw something recently about a girl with anorexia (on A&E's Intervention) who actually named her eating disorder, and it is common among ED sufferers to do something like that. I always joke around that I have a binge monkey (similar to Elizabeth's beast) and I named him Pedro. I didn't realize until I saw that program, I had given a name to my eating disorder. It's surreal. But I haven't drew any pictures of him . . . yet.
Anyone else have a name for their EDs? I should have included that on the profile questions, but I'm not sure how many people actually do that.
I just saw something recently about a girl with anorexia (on A&E's Intervention) who actually named her eating disorder, and it is common among ED sufferers to do something like that. I always joke around that I have a binge monkey (similar to Elizabeth's beast) and I named him Pedro. I didn't realize until I saw that program, I had given a name to my eating disorder. It's surreal. But I haven't drew any pictures of him . . . yet.
Anyone else have a name for their EDs? I should have included that on the profile questions, but I'm not sure how many people actually do that.
I don't have a name for it per se, but I call it "the beast," and when I binge I refer to it as "letting the beast out of the cage," haha. Maybe it's not so much about giving our EDs a name as giving them a persona, so it feels more seperate from our normal, in-control lives... if it's a seperate entity from ourselves, whether it be a thing with a name or just a "beast" that must be caged, we feel that we do not really own this ugly habit if we can seperate ourselves from it.
As for me, I know y'all haven't been seeing much of me lately... things have been very busy. But I've been eating so well, and working out! Binge free for me, yaayy! The weight isn't really coming off yet though... how frustrating...
But I have been lurking, watching the boards! So I'm around staying updated and inspired by y'all...
hi everyone
binge free.... NOT! oh well i'm not going to let it bother me right now.
harpo that is quite common to name EDs among anorexics. in fact some therapies encourage it as a way of separating the behaviour from the person so they fight against it.
very tired today. That puppy next door is starting to be a big nuisance. Last week it came in 2x during the day and I had to take it home. But last night it was in the yard at 330am. It was a bit spooky. Saffie was barking and was very definite there was someone in the yard so I crept around the house and peered out all the windows. Then I saw something move and got a fright until I realised it was the neighbour’s dog. I wasn’t about to go outside and sort it out at that hour so I popped back into bed. It whined a bit but I fell asleep and forgot about it. What I didn’t count on was the neighbour looking for their dog at quarter to six in the morning. Waking me up by yelling for the dog and then coming in to get it. I feel sorry for the puppy that it’s bored but I’m not about to encourage it to break in! it keeps knocking over my netting and making holes in it
Other than that it’s been a good day. I’ve done 3 days of my 30 mins exercise. The dogs had a lovely swim in the stream. I wasn’t going to let them go there but jazz rolled in something rotten so I figured they may as well romp in the water and get completely filthy. They had a lovely time of course. I’m hoping they sleep well tonight. Would it be too much to hope that jazz sleeps in?
The day was fairly pleasant outside so I cleaned the bbq and kept reading my book by jan burke. Didn’t do any packing though. I am finding it hard to get motivated on that count. Hehe no surprises there. Not much on tv tonight so I’m trying to decide what to do. I need an early night but seem genetically incapable of getting to bed at a reasonable hour I'm a night owl and it's got so my body and brain wake up at night! something esle to work on
unfortunately the eating is out of control and not helped by the fact that someone gave me a big box of unmentionables for doing him a favour and of course i ate them. and ate them. not down about it tho. for now i am focusing more on the exercise and staying stable (well semi stable hehe)
sorry i haven't had time to go back to the previous page. will catch you all tmrw and read everything then
Harpo, I'm so glad you're back. We've missed you! Congratulations on the two binge-free days!
I love the idea of naming my "demon". I'm going to think of what to call it...
Mccrew, it's good to see you! Just pop in to say "hi" if you don't have much time. We love having you here.
Sweet_Pea, you're so busy! The puppy thing... that would drive me crazy! Good going with the exercise!
I've got five days before I weigh in with my doctor. If I journal, maybe I can drop about 10 pounds.
Binge-free day for me, yesterday!
How is everyone today? It's raining here, and MUCH cooler. 
There's nothing much worse than being sleep deprived. 
I studied architecture, but didn't finish. 
It's not something I want to go back to (although it's all I wanted to do for many years), but I don't regret the years that I studied it. 
What are you up to these days? 
Congratulations on the three days... that's great!! Keep it up, hon. 
How exciting... you'll get to see your baby soon! I think it's kind of cool... when you're pregnant, you and your baby have such an intimate relationship. And then you get to "meet" face-to-face. 
Beastie had been caged for over a month, so naturally, he was quite wild when he escaped! It frantically pawed through my refrig and cabinets looking for unhealthy, bingey-type foods! HA! None to be found!!!! Well, it was still an ugly feeding frenzy. Pots and pans were flying, nothing edible was safe! But, thankfully, my calorie intake for today has been under 1800 calories! I dragged the evil binge beast back into his cage where he is soundly sleeping---drunk on food!
The support and encouragement here has really helped me so much! 
! I hope you had a nice day- besides doing the sniff test on the laundry 
Where are you???
? ("A smiley" is right, but not the kind of right I wanted to know, you understand?)
I hate to hear about anybody who has to keep the AC 
off----been there, done that. Especially considering the fact that you are 9 months pregnant!?!?! 
You deserve an award! 
binge-beast vaccine 
Enjoy your book, hon. 
