I used to laugh and tell people that food was my "prozac" but it is so true! It has been hard to try and find other ways to fill the void that food easily and quickly does. I think that losing weight is one of the hardest life challenges I've ever faced (and I've faced many). No matter what, you HAVE to eat! Alcoholics, drug addicts, whatever, they can "avoid" their addictions. Don't get me wrong, I would never undermine the inherent struggles with any of those or other compulsions. I'm just pointing out (as you all here already know) that people (meaning people without a weight problem) don't readily understand that when "food" is your heroin, you can't just walk away from it - there are fat farms, spas, etc., but you will always be around food! Drug addicts, alcoholics, etc. can work on avoiding those people and those situations where they know or suspect those abused substances might be present. I can't walk into a mall without the aroma of Cinnabon, or other fast foods! I can't walk into a grocery store that contains only diet/acceptable foods! I can't avoid anyone, because everyone eats!
I think that someone earlier may have said it. That Oprah one time had said that if there was a magic pill, potion, whatever, she would have bought it! I know it's about totally rethinking my destructive relationship with food. I know that it's about eating the right things. I have yet to meet an overweight person who can't tell me the calorie count, points, carbs, you name it, of any given food. We overweight people KNOW how we are "supposed" to eat. If that was all that was involved in this process, we'd all get to our goal weights in record time. I know for me, it's as individual as my heritage, environmental factors growing up, and most especially how I use food to numb my emotions! I discovered something about myself a couple of years ago as well. I don't know if anyone else here can relate to this or not. I have over the years, used food to silence my mouth from saying what's on my mind to people. My food triggers are usually people, and usually people I love very much and can't just erase from my life. I have literally stuffed my mouth with food to stop myself from telling someone I love off! I have used food to deflect my anger towards others. If my mouth is full of food, I can't say what's on my mind! LOL! Has anyone else experienced this? I would love to know, and also if anyone has found any alternatives to using food in this way. Short of offending everyone around me/you, LOL!
Well I can't say I am in the same situation as you but when I was overweight (or "at risk" as the BMI chart said), It was the only thing I could think about. I thought all my problems would go away as soon as my weight came off.
but as soon as the weight was gone, i had nothing to blame my problems on. I thought the reason I was unsocial, and had no friends or whatever, or guys didnt like me was because I was chubby and had big cheeks but I ended up being a size two. and guess what? boys didnt like me and i still had no friends
but it gave me the chance to move on. being overweight is BARRIER THAT IS BLOCKING YOU FROM FACING ALL OF YOUR INNER PROBLEMS. after I lost my weight, I finally focused on being more social, making more friends, ect. its not the weight. ITS YOU. YOU YOU YOU that is causing all of this. the fat is just trapping you from realizing that. Once you loose the weight, you wont have a reason to blame things on. You will have to face your problems dead in the face and its tough but ONLY then will you be able to fix them
cadbury`s:: Itīs the same with me....Compliments on loosing weight are as much a trigger as some foods for me. Maybe I donīt feel comfortable when people see my body in a positive way. Or somthing like that...
sweetlovin: Good point! I think a lot of people tend to say "If that would happen, everything would be fine". For overweight people that "....that..." in this sentences is loosing weight. But I know someone who thought: "If I will pass that exam, everything will be alright". He passed that exam and the world didnīt change. He tried to commit suicide. Ok, extreme case.
I just wanted to state that a lot of people think that way, itīs just more obvious for overweight people.
Maybe being overweight isnīt so much a barrier that holds you back, I sometimes think that for me itīs like a teacher who shows me what is wrong in my life. Or something like that. Or itīs rubbish.
AspiringButterfly: What you said about having food as your drug of choice is true- and being an alcoholic in recovery i think I can judge that. I read somewhere on this board the sentence "Itīs the same for alcoholics and food addicts: as an alcoholic you have to drink, as a food addict you have to eat. Itīs just the choice what to eat and drink (no alcohol, no trigger foods). I thought about it a lot, and came to the conclusion that it is not true. I wasnīt addicted to DRINKING, it was the alcohol (and what it did with me). But I am addicted of food. I binged on nearly every kind of food. I can stay away from alcohol and drink water, because I never got drunken on water), but staying away from all the foods i could or had binged on would cause a seriuos health problem in the long run....and I donīt want to be THAT thin...
And I can relate to the "eating instead of shouting" thing. I never made good experiences with saying whatīs on my mind in my family. So I used my mouth to eat instead of saying what I want. And I used my fat to tell the people around me what I wanted to say. Like "I am overweight- that means that I have a problem. Could you please help me?" or something like that.
(Upps, I just realized that I typed "eating instead of shooting"...well, that would be quite a good thing....)
Kate, I think you said it perfectly! You can still "drink" just water - it would be like (to my way of thinking) telling someone not to breathe the way the breathe. You see everyone else breathes deeply and you just don't quite get it right. You see, you breathe shallowly so if you learn how to breathe deeply, you'll be alright i.e. feel better, be slimmer, etc. For me it's learning how to "breathe" like naturally slim people. People that I know who are thin/slim, they don't eat when they are mad at someone or feeling lonely or bored. They never made that connection (thankfully for them) - they exercise, or read, or put in a "feel good" movie to watch or just go to bed. For me, food not only "instantly" makes me feel better, just the sheer joy of eating, savoring the smells, tastes, the whole experience is almost like having sex! LOL! Sorry, about that, but it's true for me! The food causes a chemical reaction in my body that releases seretonin and endorphins and makes me "feel good" physically and emotionally. Now, trying to find another task that encompasses all of those things when I'm stressed and ready to jump out of my skin, has been the holy grail of my quest to manage my weight. Like I said in an earlier post, the weight also serves a greater purpose for me. It keeps the attention of men (other than my husband) away from me, and also makes me feel like I'm taken seriously. My goal as I lose weight not only is to find the holy grail of replacing that whole eating experience, but also staying/being assertive with the opposite sex while I regain my figure.
I would love to hear any constructive tips or clever verbal comebacks to dealing with unwanted advances.
Would staying binge- free be easier if bingeing wouldnīt be connected with weight?
Kate
Okay...I haven't read the responses yet but I just wanted to say that is one of the most amazingly insightful weight-related questions I've ever read.
Yes, I do believe it would be easier, b/c part of the bingeing cycle invovles being ashamed not only of the binge but *the weight that will come on because of it*. The binge is invisible--probably nobody knows you're doing it. But the weight is very visible. It's a red flag shouting out to people, "Look! This girl overeats! She's bad! Bad bad bad." And that just sets off the cycle again.
I don't blame you for fearing relationships and I am sending hugs your way.
