Am I avoiding life in order not to binge (and is that necessarily a bad thing)?
This is kind of long, so bear with me...
I'm earning day 3 and feeling pretty good. But yesterday I ran into my cousin and she invited me to the Renaissance Festival with her and her family. I love the Ren Fes. I used to go every year as a kid. I love the costumes and the crafts and the shows... but mostly, I love the food. Giant Turkey Legs and chocolate-covered cheesecake on a stick and beer and pulled pork and.... I could go on, but you get the idea. So this is a whole day centered around food. My (very skinny) cousin even said she wants to get there right when it opens because she wants to be able to eat as much as possible. If I make it to Sunday (and I will!) that'll only be day 6 for me. I don't think I'll be able to resist all the temptation, especially so early in my weightloss journey. I don't think I'd be able NOT to binge .
Now I'm thinking I probably shouldn't go, even though I know I'd have so much fun!
My question: Is not going a good thing? Does it mean I'm so committed to losing weight this time that I'm not letting things derail me the way I used to? Or, is it a bad thing. Does it mean I'm trying to lose weight in a way that's not sustainable because I can't avoid life and food forever. I need to learn self-control at some point(not to mention I need to maintain some semblance of a social life!). But maybe it's just too early. Maybe if I were earning day 10 or 20 I could go and trust myself, but in the very very beginning of what I hope will be a life-long change in eating habits, maybe it's not the worst thing to hide myself away in order to stay away from food?
I'm torn. Any thoughts/suggestions/comments would be appreciated
I think the answer to that question is different for everyone. For me, I had to avoid life for a few weeks. I just stayed home or went to work, and got my new habits established in a controlled environment on my own terms.
After the first month or so I started doing things again, and now I do whatever I want, but I had to get my head right and my habits strong before I could go to the bar with my friends and trust myself not to drink a billion calories and then go for pizza afterward.
I talked about how I feel like I am anti-social at times JUST to avoid food. When people come over I'm like great they are going to say "let's go get something to eat" or I'll miss my workout, etc.
I try to not be anti-social but I think that's part of weight loss sometimes- so much of our cultures are centered around food so it's hard to avoid.
Honestly if I were in your shoes I wouldn't go- OR I wouldn't go with your cousin and go yourself with someone who you know won't go nuts on food. Me personally it'd be hard for me to resist those things!
This reminds me a lot about what I've heard said about addiction. Someone who is addicted to something and trying to quit/just quit/in the process will have the hardest times when they are surrounded by people or situations were they use to do what they are addicted to. Its important to get your grounding before going back to places you use to binge at or you think will push you. Of course this is only at first because you can't keep avoiding places and people.
So my suggestion is to access yourself. If you think you will binge or the pressure will be too much, don't go. Do something else fun that won't test you as much. If you think you can handle it then go. Sometimes we have to remove ourselves for a while to change our life and stick to it, theres nothing wrong with that.
Hello there... On my own experience I would not go. I had to say NO to a lot of events that I love in order to change my eating habits. It doesn't mean you can NEVER go to this fest ever again... It just mean that at this time you are just starting your change and you need a break from some situations.
But only you has the real answer for how strong you are when it comes to temptation. If you go and you can't control yourself, next time you will know what to do. DON'T GO!
But if you go and "behave" you will know that you are ready...
It is really hard though because sometimes we are stronger than others.
In my case if I have a slight doubt about my will power I will just pass. Life still going on and I'll have other opportunities to "party", specially now that the holidays are right around the corner. Pretty much what I do is (one time I go and other I don't) so I don't have it all and also don't avoid it all. I just try to pick the events I think are the best ones.
Good luck to you
Bele
I limited myself to social events in the beginning as well. After a while, you'll be able to go to things and KNOW that you'll be fine.
How about going for just one hour? Workout and eat a big healthy meal before you go. And PLAN your activities. Tell yourself. I'm going to make a craft, watch 2 shows and then I'm out. Hold yourself to it.
At the beginning I would still say yes to dinners with my friends but I would workout and eat at home and then show up after dinner was over and would have one glass of wine, great conversation and then head home.
If it was me, I wouldn't go. I might not eat anything that I shouldn't while I was there, but I know good and well, when I left, I'd eat everything I could find. I made it a year and a half without bingeing, lost 108 pounds and then decided that I could go to food fairs and places like that and eat like a normal person. I was [U]wrong[U]. It didn't take long before I was back to bingeing hardcore. Hopefully I've got it through my head, for today anyway, there are plenty of opportunities to spend time with my relatives other than where there's and unlimited supply of food. It would be no different than me taking my son, who is a recovering alcholic, to a place that had every type of alchol imaginable, sitting open to smell and taste. I wouldn't put him in that position and I have to remember to not put myself in that position either.
Should an alcoholic be around people who drink in front of them or should they go to a bar??? Not if they want to stay sober. BED is, IMO, an addiction. I have suffered from BED for years and even to this day if the food sits in front of my face for long enough, when no one is looking, I will have a hay day.
It's far better to not set yourself up for failure. Think about how awful you are going to feel about yourself and your actions if you go to the festival and cave??? I wouldn't think of it as "missing out" think of it as you are building strength to get through the rest of your life so you can truly enjoy life's events without the hangover
The first months are the hardest, but eventually it does get easier to get through the temptations...it just takes a lot of strength. And it helps to have people around you supporting you.
Keep your eye on the prize, not the unhealthy food.
Thanks so much, guys!!! I think I really just needed someone to tell me that it's A) ok NOT to go and B) going to get easier (that I'm only not going because I'm a beginner).
I was going to say you can't avoid the world and will have to deal with it eventually. But then I read about the just starting and cheesecake on a stick. You might not want to subject yourself to these things for a few weeks.
and I'm pretty sure cheese cake on a stick isn't historically accurate lol
haha, yeah. I looked up the list of food vendors online and there is almost nothing there I'd be able to eat (except coffee and shrimp. lol). And none of it is historically accurate :P
I try to avoid the outings i can avoid, spend less time in the ones i have to attend but more importantly, i let everybody i meet know i'm on a diet so everybody around me watch what i consume which kind of put me on my toes and discourages me from eating unhealthy
Know thyself. Know when you feel it would not work for you and when you think you can handle it. Part of learning responsibility for your eating is learning your limitations.
Yet, there are times you will have to test yourself and the best way to do that is take it slow. Don't test yourself at major food-oriented events, test at a small get together where you can plan in advance exactly what you will eat that is friendly to your plan.
As an aside...I personally (whether dieting or not) never eat their goopy foods at fairs, amusement parks, movies or food courts at malls. I work on disconnecting the association of having fun with eating. I always take a meal with me to these events (if they are during a meal time) or even just when I know I will be out shopping for hours.
Am I avoiding life in order not to binge (and is that necessarily a bad thing)?
. 
