I am a binge eater, It sucks knowing I do this to myself yet I love doing it. I actually sneak food so my HB wont notice and I look forward for him to leave for work so I don't have to hide my eating habits. I have gained alot of weight and emotional problems from binging. I don't want HB to see me naked anymore, I swear he doesn't want me because of my problems. I know its in my head, but the truth doesn't always help.
I binge mostly out of bordom, but once I get a bite, I'm gone. I hunt and surch and am dissipointed when I can't find more food to eat. I also binge becuase I'm stressed or enviromental triggers. Like taking the kids to the gas station to go pee, all those goodies and chips actally know my name!
My HB knows that I binge, he has no idea the how extream it is and how much of a problem it has become for me. I have tried talking to him about it and my response is"just don't eat it", that coming from a 6" man weighing a meager 140lbs. He can actally eat a handfull of m&m's and put the rest away for later and FORGET THERE IN HIS POCKET!!
I have yo yo dieted for years, thinking that I've got my addiction under control and failed misserably. I actually like low-carbing and moderate carbing, my body feels sooo much better when I'm eating those ways. Yet I start the binging cycle over and over again. No matter what I eat, I want to binge. All diet plans claim to lower the urge to binge, I think thats a bunch of ballonie. I havn't figured out what makes us/me binge (I'm talking more than stress, bordon, enviromental), all I know is I want this to stop. I want control of my life and especially what I eat. I want to be more slender, at least to the point that I'm not ashamed of the way I look. I want to feel sexy to my husband(go back to being ashamed) and I want to be able to sit on my horse without her groaning(stop laughing, its soo not funny).
I have started low carb again. I can't get my pants on and I don't want to wear a size 16, I want to wear my 10's again! Today is day 3 of low carbing, I have stayed buisy, kept a clear head in the gas station and made it through.
I go on vacation in Augast. Way back in spring, I had planned on loosing weight for the vacation and keeping it off. That didn't happen, it would be great to at least be able to wear my size 14 pants again durring the trip. Size 12 would be better, but I'm striving to feel better about myself also.
For me, the battle with binge eating is not over, but it's much better. I do a lot of things to deal with it, including getting professional help.
In the recovery community there is a saying...
H.A.L.T.
Don't get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired. It's a simple saying, but it covers a lot of what causes binges. I hope your diet isn't too restrictive. Too few calories can trigger binges.
Thank you. I am doing low carb, I will up my carbs in time, but I found that when I do, I get a little nutty and binge. Over veggies! I am counting the days, today is DAY4 without binging. Over all, I feel good. I am full from lunch and am thinking abou t taking a nap. I am awfull tired today, but thats nothing new. My horse was hurt badly a week ago and I havn't sleeped well since. I may take a walk this evening before bed, that may help.
Hi,
I hear and feel your frustration. I have a group of ex co-workers that I see about once or twice a year. I saw them in May of 2009 and vowed to myself that the next time I saw them I would be 20 pounds lighter. I saw them in March 2010 and was maybe 3 pounds lighter if that. It was very frustrating to me. I went through nearly a year of exercising faithfully at least 5 days a week for at least a half hour each time (up to an hour and a half) and watching what I ate with very little results. In my case I ended up seeing an endocrinologist in May and was put on medicine (metformin) which is helping me to use my insulin more efficiently. (Turns out I was insulin resistant....which is very common for individuals who are overweight). As a result, I was also constantly hungry and even when I ate I was hungry about a half hour later. Now on the medicine I am doing much better and have lost about 8-10 pounds since that last time I saw my ex co-workers. So, at least that is encouraging for me.
There are a number of books out there that deal with "Mindful Eating." I have gotten several, but have not put too much time into reading them. The basic idea is to actually be mindful and aware of what you are eating and not just trying to get the food down as quickly as possible and move onto the next thing (which is what my problem is...not saying it is yours).
Congratulations on making it to Day 4. I hope that posting here is helpful and that you are able to keep it up.
That is my thing!! LOL!! I do the same thing. I usually go to eat one candybar and bamb, as soon as I'm done, I'm looking for more and wolf it down. I hate to have my kids see me that way, I don't want them to learn from my habits. I think its my age but my daughter will binge if given the chance. Just the other day, there was a bag of candy on the table and I noticed it was to quiet. I looked for her and found her in the closet with a huge handfull of the candy shoved in her mouth. She's five, I thinks its the age, but I don't want her to get any more ideas from me.
Were having fish tonight, I use pork rinds in place of flour. The kids are excited, we don't get fish often because my HB doesn't like it. Gotta go flip!
What I have noticed about myself is that often when I am eating something I enjoy....just dinner even....I find myself thinking, "ohhh, I have to eat this quick so I can get MORE" rather than truly enjoying it...taking my time eating it....and then maybe or even maybe not getting more.
I have often wondered if other people have that inner instinct/voice telling them to hurry up and finish and get more. I often wonder about the psychology of it. To me this sort of behavior would seem more common to someone who had at one point in time been deprived of food or just not had enough. That's not the case with me and I have always thought it kind of odd.
Since I am officially dieting and limiting what I am eating, I have not been as bad with the "hurry up and eat to get more" thing. I have also been savoring what is on my plate more as I am trying to not allow myself to even go for seconds.
I can relate to a lot of what you said…I think a lot of us can, even if everyone won’t be brave enough to admit it! Thank you for sharing, it’s always good to know we’re not alone out there.
I am also a binge eater. I binged this entire past weekend. I’m like you in that I can’t stop at just a little…once I have a bite, I have to consume more and figure, why not? It’s so easy to rationalize a binge when you’re in the heat of it…too easy.
One big difference now is that I never, ever let myself give up like I did before. I’ve been on “diets” before and once I slipped up, I was off the wagon for months or even years, gaining more weight that I had to lose originally. I won’t let myself do that again. I have come to accept the fact that I will always have a little trouble controlling myself around food…I can’t really see myself going even a whole month without a binge episode. BUT I know without any doubt that I will never give in completely and go back to my old ways and that in itself is something to be proud of. It makes me feel secure. My mindset is better and it has lessened the panic that I usually feel during a binge. This might be an attitude of defeat…but I’m trying not to pressure myself. I’m trying to be positive and acknowledge the things that I HAVE accomplished rather than beating myself up so badly every time I stuff my face.
My SO also cannot relate to my lack of control with food. When I tell him I binged, he sort of brushes it off or says “oh, everyone eats a little too much sometimes”. He does not at all understand the severity of my overeating or how horrible it makes me feel when it happens…he probably never will. But he supports me and he doesn’t want to see me upset, so he encourages and soothes me when I feel like I’m losing ground.
It’s a lifelong struggle. But once you set your mind to just being better and striving to overcome when you can, rather than being perfect, it gets a little easier. Hope that made any sense at all…lol.
It is very warming to know that there are others with the same problem that I have and are willing to admit it. I remenber growing up, I didn't mind overeating, if anything it was encouraged. I was always a few pounds overweight. But, it wasn't until I was in my early 20's that I started binge eating. I still remember the first time I did it.
I was working in a nursing home as a aid. Another aid was slacking off and I got into trouble for our work not getting done, all the while, she was out smoking. I tried explaining to the nurse but she told me I was being subordanit(spelling) and she sent me home early. I was very upset, my HB told me to buck up, so I went for a drive. I went to the gas station and got several choc bars, chips w/dip, and several bags candy. I ate it all while I drove 65 miles. That was my first real binge. I cried and ate, and developed an awful habit from there. I've had a several blood sugar drops that left me without vision for a time, unable to physically move and sick to my stomach. Yet I still do it.
Today is day 5 for me, I've been tired all day(and yesterday) but otherwise, I feel fine. My cravings are very minor(they'll get worse as time goes on), but I feel good about myself because I just may beat my problem and change my habit to a much better one.
I used to clean when I had a craving, I HATE CLEANING!! Now I try to keep buisy working on a saddle, cooking the next meal, and yes, cleaning. I'm a home-maker after all.
You are not alone. I am a binge eater as well and once went through a period where I was addicted to laxatives because I could not force myself to throw-up, and trust me, I tried everything.
I was sexually abused as a child, infant to 12 years old. It damaged me in so many way and here I am at 35, still dealing with issues. Food was my comfort, it was my medication. I was overweight my whole life because I ate so much. I was not social because I felt people would know I was damaged. So, I ate. Food was my only friend. I would sneak food in the middle of the night and eat until I could not eat anymore.
It was not until I was in my mid-20s that I went for medical help. I got treatment, lost weight, became a runner and life was much better. The binge eating never went away, but it was controllable. I was in control.
Life happens and I have relapsed. I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress, Binge Eating with laxative addiction tendencies, Panic Attacks, Anxiety Disorders, Insomnia, and Recurring Major Depression.
3 years ago this month I went through a divorce, lost both grandparents (to cancer), 3 of my best friends (2 murdered , 1 to cancer) and moved 1000 miles away from all that I knew to be closer to my family. I could not find permanent work, only temp jobs in my field. No one else would hire me as I was over qualified. All of this fed into my relapse.
I binge quite a bit now and because I can't keep laxatives in the house, for obvious reasons (my fiancé knows about my past) I keep a bottle of Alli on hand to help what little it can.
I do not have insurance so I can't see a psychiatrist. The community centers can't help me because I am not suicidal. I did go see my fiancé doc and he wrote me some prescriptions, aiming for the cheapest he could get me on. I ended up with Pristiq because they offered an entire 3 months for free. THAT made me angry , agitated and suicidal. I took myself off and have not been able to go back to the doc for him to just put me back on my Wellbutrin and I will find a way to get it paid for, either through a meds program, or my job.
I am a full time student and a freelance writer now. I am slowly building my own business. I don't make a lot of money and I am on food assistance. I live with my fiancé and his daughter is with us on the weekends.
Just like you guys, I can't keep doing this to myself. However my SO doesn't understand it. I have tried a million times over to explain my many illnesses. I know he loves me, and I also know he loves me just the way that I am. I am plus size (5'6" and 230) and he loves it.
I just want to be comfortable in my own skin. I want to be healthy. I have bad back problems and would love to get the weight off to make my back stronger and better. I would love to be able to play roller derby!
You are very welcome. Its a huge relief to get it off your chest, at least it was for me. Explaining to others is difficult, its hard to find the right words and they don't usually understand, unless they've been there.
Ha Ha, I went to a doctor once, he was really nice. I explained my binging and stress at home and how I hated my weight. I was only 40lbs over then. He told me I looked very sexy at my weight and he thought my problems were from my HB. Some of them were, but, the binging I learned all by myself long ago. My gosh, its been right at 10 years now! I've perfected something anyway!! Ha Ha
I feel for you, its tough and I'm not sure how to get threw it. We have everyones sapport with this forum, but, no one has the "cure", or can tell me what to do.
I go on vacation in Augast. Way back in spring, I had planned on loosing weight for the vacation and keeping it off. That didn't happen, it would be great to at least be able to wear my size 14 pants again durring the trip. Size 12 would be better, but I'm striving to feel better about myself also.
Reading your post is like I wrote it myself!!
I am a binge eater too. I tend to plan my binge and plan all the things i am going to eat without even realising it!! I am moving into my new house in January 2011 and this afternoon I caught myself thinking that my first night there, I am going to get a large pizza, chinese food, chocolate m&m's and cookies to celebrate! I didnt use to think of it as binge eating. I used to think of it as celebration or relaxation. When I cant find anything else to eat at home, I drive around till I find somewhere thts open. Its so hard!!
I also start diets and plan to lose massive amounts in short period of time and whenn I dont reach my unrealistic goal, I get really mad at myself, become resigned that I will always be fat and go on a binge eating because I feel that there is no point anymore. I also go on binge as a way to reward myself for losing weight or cheat on my diet, then say well I've ruined it already, so might as well eat everything i can to get them out of my system and start the diet tomorrow. Except tomorrow turns into a month or 2 months and not only do I gain back the weight, I gain some more besides! So really in every which way I sabotage myself.
I think i do it, because I really want a relationship but i am so convinced i get rejected that I deliberately ruin the diet so the rejection doesnt actually happen because in my head its so humiliating! Its taken 5 visits with a psychologist for me to see the pattern and its so increidbly hard! I have been on a diet now for 2 weeks and even though I am stalling (though possibly due to my time of month) I am trying to not do what I always do which is just start eating.. I think this is a positive step for me.
I have 3 times gotten really thin and still have my clothes and my biggest wish is to fit back into them. I hope I can before end of this year (which is my goal) and I hope you reach yours too. Good luck
Today is my tenth day without binging. It feels great!! Eating VLC has helped with my craving, I would like to add more veggies to my diet and hope I don't get cravings from it.
mascarablue: Its really hard. I started binging 10 long and aganizing years ago. I've lost weight and got to 160lbs and felt great, but would turn right around and binge! It was depressing and I was embarrased.
There are those that intentionally sabatoge my VLC eating, mainly out of carring, they don't believe in eating this way. Or, because they really don't want me thinner. My husband wants me to loose, but he doesn't want me to eat differently. He thinks that, I think that I'm better than him and everyone else. He's lost his marbles, I feel worse than everyone else! He'll never get it.
I'm stil waiting for lifes wonderful stresses to get me and binge again. Maybe because I'm waiting, I'm ready in advance to stop it? LOL I don't know, its one big crazy mess.
I binged last night. It took me 2 weeks and I fell pray to a bag of Doritos and salsa. I have been eating better today, and I hope I will continue to do better. I have a plan worked out, its hard to follow even the best laid plans.
I am a binge eater. . .
without binging. Over all, I feel good. I am full from lunch and am thinking abou t taking a nap. I am awfull tired today, but thats nothing new. My horse was hurt badly a week ago and I havn't sleeped well since. I may take a walk this evening before bed, that may help.
i am a binger too, and i know how hard it is.
