Hello! I have been around the site for years but today is the first time I've really thought I could be a compulsive overeater. I have been overweight just about all of my life, but I lost weight by counting calories back in 2001 and did a good job of keeping it off until I got married, then pregnant. Add another pregnancy and a lot of stress and feeling like I deserve whatever I want once the kids go to bed, and I'm at my highest weight ever, except for when I gave birth to my son. I am now more than I was a week after he was born though. Yikes. I thought gaining weight was supposed to happen WHILE you were pregnant.
So now that I have a family, no "diet" plan seems to be working for me for any real length of time. I do the thing where I eat well all day, and usually even on weeknights when I'm thinking about it. Then I have a little slip and all my control is gone. This usually happens on Friday night and goes through Sunday night. I eat too much, and honestly, I drink too much, and I think those things are related. And lately I feel like I even have a bit of an online shopping problem. I just feel completely out of control.
I know I am an emotional eater, and I do believe this is worse now that I have kids and an 8-5 job so I have no flexibility. I've noticed lately that I can get agitated if something slows me down while putting the kids to bed, because then it's treat time. I don't want to live like that. But then again, I've never been great about living in the moment.
And let's just say that this past weekend was kind of eye opening. DH and I went to a party and I felt like from the second I got there until when we left I had beer in my hands. And Sunday was just like that with food. I'm sick of vowing each week to be "good" and failing by the time the weekend comes.
Anyway, I'll be checking in here and seeing how you all are coping. If I don't sound like I belong here, let me know, I won't take it personally. But I think I do, and it feels good admitting it.
Hey no way! If it's compulsive eating that you're having troubles with, we're like, the go-to section of this forum, haha.
Do you think you can invest time to check out a couple of self-help books from the library? I've found them to be a great help in coordination to the support from this forum.
What about exercise? For a lot of emotional eaters, drug addicts, and gamblers things that provide a reward (that food tends to do for us compulsive eaters) will release dopamine which is a pleasure hormone in the brain. Dopamine can also be boosted via exercise, so if you're not doing any exercise at all (seeing as you do have a busy schedule) you might want to consider finding a way to invest the time in it. If you need suggestions on how, lemme know.
The dopamine and also the "being good" mentality might be your downfall.. atleast, that's what I'm getting from your post. I don't know about you, but since I started calorie counting, I tended to put foods into "good" and "bad" categories which also tends to make me binge when I slip up and eat a bad food. "Ah well, messed up. Might as well eat a hoard of food." kind of thing. Do you feel the same? That mentality takes a little work to get out of, but it'll be worth it.
Let me know if I can help.
I'll be cheering you on, so the best of luck to you!
Thank you! I'm feeling pretty good about this, maybe it's the relief that comes when you finally admit something you've been denying.
I definitely know the good/bad mentality is not ideal. I just go back and forth. Last year I was into intuitive eating and stopped weighing myself. This year I stepped on the scale and found I'd gained 20 pounds in the past year. At that point I decided I need to actually be on a diet for real, tracking every thing I eat to keep me honest. Now I'm thinking I might do better with intuitive eating again, except to be honest with myself about how I'm feeling.
I am exercising again and making a more conscious effort to be regular with it. It does help me in a lot of ways. I am also on an anti-depressant, so I KNOW my issues are deep-seated. I go from wondering if I'm bipolar, obsessive, or just anxious/depressed. Probably a combination of the three.
I love TV and it's my favorite way to unwind once the kids are in bed, no apologies. But I feel like I need to do something while I'm watching TV and I guess in my own head, the twisted thing is that I feel more productive if I eat while I watch TV than if I just watch TV. Stupid mentality. So I am into loom knitting, and I don't know why I don't just keep my hands busy with that all the time. I'm working on it.
I also found an Overeater's Anonymous group in town. I might see what that's all about. I was on Weight Watchers and liked the accountability of seeing other dieters every week. Maybe this is like that, only with less suggestions to just drink water when you're hungry. But I'm not into the whole God thing, which I know is not a requirement, but still. I'm sort of in the Bible belt. I guess it wouldn't hurt to check out a meeting, right?
If you're unsure but pretty sure, yet still unsure about what you should do then speak to a psychologist. I know it seems drastic and for a long time I hated going but I finally realized that it was helping me. I wasn't able to do any kind of lifestyle change until I fully understood why I'm a binger and why I tend to overdo all bad things in my life. I've gained power from understanding myself and now I own it and can change it.
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I have OCD and have been both a compulsive comfort eater and an anorexic. Apart from Seroxat (drug) I can honestly say that exercise is the number one thing that helps me cope. But here's another tip for dealing with a compulsion - be it to overeat or something else - if you feel like I absolutely have to do x, don't tell yourself "NO YOU CAN'T YOU IDIOT" but try postponing it for five minutes. After five minutes, try postponing it another five. And so on. Inserting a period of time in between the compulsion and acting on breaks the link between intense feeling and action, and as time passes you gain some perspective on the compulsion - why it might not be necessary or even a good idea. I'm compulsive checker and this has helped me a lot with it x
Amy 8888... I have read a few of your posts and your blog. I can't believe how much it seems we have in common. (You, by the way, are very humorous with your insights). I am new to the site; this is only my 2nd post (I think). I recently posted on the Introductions forum, and thought at the time that complete disclosure of my issues would be both freeing for me, as well as honest in finding help, support, understanding. After I posted, though, I wondered if revealing so much about myself is going to scare people away. My doctor and a couple of counselors are the only other individuals in the WORLD that know the sum total of all of my issues. My profession and geographical location (as well as my insecurities) make it impossible for me to tell just anyone in my real life just how out of control I am.
Here's to hoping that we are able to find the support we so desperately need here with the 3FC's community!
So here's to hoping we can find the support and understanding we crave
Again, thanks so much for the suggestions and kind words.
I'm not so sure about the psychologist route, I've been there before though so I'm not opposed to it. I will keep it in mind.
I am more seriously considering going to an OA meeting. Heck, it couldn't hurt to give it a try, right?
Jude, I like that suggestion of just postponing. I've got plenty to keep me busy to help occupy myself.
So, I have decided to assemble a charm bracelet. I came really close to spending over $100 online yesterday, but instead I went to Hobby Lobby at lunch and found what I needed there for $20. The charms I got are a wedding couple, to remind me that I want to be more comfortable with myself for the sake of my marriage and improving intimacy, a little girl and a little boy charm, to remind me of how I want to be a better mother, a baby shoe because I want to have another baby but I also want to enter my next pregnancy much more comfortable with myself and healthier in general. I also got a measuring tape to remind me of the inches I want to lose, a cocktail, so I can always have one without having one, and a butterfly, because I am going through a metamorphosis.
So I plan to wear this bracelet all day to use this as a tool to slow me down (one of the charms I saw online was a stop sign, which I thought would be a wonderful reminder!) and make me reconsider what I really want at any given moment.
Newly self-diagnosed compulsive overeater :)
