Greetings,
To keep it brief, I'm a recovering bulimic who is trying to get back into shape, this time w/o the wear-and-tear on my esophagus. When I managed to get a hancle on the bulimia, I managed to maintain my weight, but when I stopped working out, I ballooned, as in Goodyear Blimp.
I used to work out, and have started doing so again, but the food thing remains an issue. Anyone else dealing with this?
Thanks!
First congrats on getting a handle on your bulimia. i have experience in working with people with eating disorders and i know it is very difficult. I'm not sure what you mean by the food thing remains an issue, but if counseling is an option i would encourage that. If not, just be aware of what triggered you before so you're aware of when things are going well. Self-help books on bulimia and eating disorders may help as well. I hope this was somewhat helpful.
Hi, thanks for the reply.
I guess what I meant by "food still being as issue" is that I'm still prone to binge on occasion. I'm not purging anymore (not to be too indelicate), nor have I in quite a while, I think due to the fact that I've been ignoring my weight.
I guess my question is how to control my weight without getting back on the express train to Crazy Town?
Did you work with a treatment team when you quit purging? If so, I think it would be worth it to contact them about this problem. Often therapists will see old clients on a "as needed" basis, even if it's just for one or two sessions to clear up a problem. Finding the emotional reasons that drive your eating disorder and working through them are the best ways to stop ED behaviors. If you haven't worked on this yet, it could be very beneficial to see someone who specializes in EDs. If you're a uni student, most colleges offer free counseling, and any good school psych. staff should have at least one person qualified to help those with EDs. They should be able to give you some good ideas on how to lose weight without reverting to the ED as well (not diet tips so much as coping skills). Seeing a nutritionist may also be helpful.
Also, how did you quit purging? This may be the same way to quit binging, especially if you relied on the support of people close to you & other healthier coping skills.
I know for some people, even if they are technically overweight or obese & feel the need to lose weight for reasons outside of the ED, it is much more helpful to just worry about quitting the ED behaviors and thought processes before trying to get their weight under control.
Good luck with your recovery process & I hope you find a solution to this problem soon.
I wish I had answers for you, but I can say you are not alone. I have binge eating disorder and having an ED as you know makes weight loss a crazymaking exercise. My bingeing is better as a result of treatment and a lot of persistence, but the craziness continues. I tend to restrict a lot, which isn't healthy- I switched problems from bingeing to starving sometimes. I try not to overexercise, but it is tempting. And my body image is pretty poor even though people tell me I look good.
On the positive side, I feel so much better since I stopped bingeing. I feel healthier and more in control. My disordered eating is much better- instead of having huge meals of sugar and fat, I am eating more balanced meals. It has been worth it.
I would reiterate what others are saying and that you get professional help. You deserve time and attention for your particiular issue. Good luck and welcome to the board.
Hey Shrill. First of all have a hug.
Don't worry about being too indelicate, bulimia isn't a pretty thing. ED's aren't, generally speaking. I've struggled with bulimia for about fifteen years. It's a horrid and curious disorder.
Two things about bulimia for me were that:
a) seeking a therapist was a great idea in order to talk out loud to somebody about it. I kept my work life and social life fairly normal but my home life was very private and very distanced from people. Purging is loud and ugly. It doesn't go unnoticed. I learned that it was not about losing weight or maintaining weight for me at all anymore. It was about losing control.
b) I have to work out to stay mentally well and balanced. I get the feeling of wanting to binge and purge when the rest of my life feels out of control.
Hi all,
Thanks for all the replies and support. You all have some really, really good insights.
I did receive professional help to deal with my ED, and that is how I managed to stop purging--lots and lots of therapy.
Alas, being overseas, professional help isn't much of an option--very limited English language resources in my current location.
However, last night I had an epiphany. My ocassional binges seem to come when I've been overly restrictive about my eating--the dog breaks the chain because the chain is too tight.
So, until I can access more therapy, I've decided to stop worrying about food for a while (although I've cut out soda and booze--yay me!). I'm just going to work out, because it seems to help my mental health, and eat when I'm hungry. I know, I know; ground-breaking stuff, right?
Thanks again, and please feel free to post any more suggestions.
i think what you said about working out for your own mental health is key. Where i used to work, we told our patients not to exercise for at least 6 months after treatment because it can be triggering for some, but if you're able to do it in moderation then it can be very good for you. I'm glad to hear that you had an epiphany the other night, and i hope you continue to have them. You said you still binge, you can do is keep a journal with you and write down your thoughts and feelings before your binge, during, and after, and by doing that you can start to recognize some patterns in your behavior. Hope this is somewhat helpful for you. Take care.
Thanks! I think journaling right now would be good in relation to more than binges. It might just be helpful overall.
I know what you mean about exercise being triggering--it used to be a way to purge for me, along with the other more notorious one.
Now I find it just helps burn off stress. I ignore the calorie counter when I'm on a machine, and workout outdoors mostly--no pedometer or calorie counter. I guess I'm trying not to let let food and a bunch of numbers control me, one way or another.
Also, since I've been eating when I'm hungry, and snacking on things like apples and grapes, I haven't had to fight off food urges nearly as hard. Maybe after years of ignoring and abusing my body, I'm learning how to listen.
Recovering bulimic--getting back into shape
have a hug.
